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Flight of Valor: a Poignant Face of America Moment in North Plainfield, New Jersey

By Tony Mussari
Copyright 2011
The Face of America Project
Mussari-Loftus Associates, LTD

Music is the medicine of the breaking heart. Leigh Hunt

North Plainfield High School

Some of the most priceless memories of our Face of America journey are deeply rooted in the high school in North Plainfield, New Jersey. This is the place where Kitch and I first discovered the Face of America’s tomorrow today.  It’s the place where the seeds of our project germinated. It’s a place where good things are happening for students, teachers, parents and administrators who reap the benefits of diversity.

In many ways, going to North Plainfield is like going home. It happened again this week when I visited the high school to interview students for a documentary we will screen in Shanksville later this year.

The visit was suggested by Tom Mazur, Supervisor of Fine, Practical and Performing Arts. Tom invited me to attend the spring concert. When I was told the concert band under the direction of Heather Fencik would play Flight of Valor, James Swearingen’s inspirational composition dedicated to the Heroes of Flight 93, I requested permission to record the event.

As has always been the case, everyone at the high school who was involved in arranging my visit did what had to be done to create a welcoming environment. Skip Pulcrano, the coach of the North Plainfield cheerleaders, went out of his way to make this location shoot a success.

Prior to the concert I interviewed four students and one teacher from North Plainfield, and a mother and her daughter from Point Pleasant, New Jersey.

Yamna Anwar is one of North Plainfield’s most accomplished students. Recently she distinguished herself with a perfect score on the state mandated test for juniors. During our conversation she shared her thoughts about America and her dream of becoming a medical doctor.

Maximiliano Torres is a member of the wrestling team, and the owner of a golden voice.  Kitch and I were taken by his rendition of God Bless America, prior to our screening of Visiting Shanksville in the Rain. During our conversation he spoke passionately about his love for America.

Guedis Cardenas is president of the senior class, and a member of the tennis team. He is a cheerleader who commands the respect of everyone on the squad. Sitting in front of the Healing Field Flag of Honor, he talked about the things he learned during his visit to Shanksville. Three days after our interview Guedis was selected as the outstanding male cheerleader in the country at a national competition in North Carolina.

Amber Henderson and her fifth grade teacher, Megan Hendrickson, shared their story of rescue, hope, inspiration and friendship.

Anna Norcia and her mother, Marie, talked about their visits to Shanksville with Skip Pulcrano when he was a teacher in Point Pleasant, New Jersey. That is where this marvelous public service tradition started. All these years later, it has been developed to its highest potential in North Plainfield.

As you can well imagine, these wonderful and uplifting stories added a special dimension to our Face of America project.

The Back Story

A few moments before the concert began, I read an interesting comment in the program. It told everyone in attendance that the composer of Flight of Valor drew upon a well-known hymn, It Is Well with My Soul. That piqued my curiosity, and I made a mental note to check out the back story to the music.

When the appointed moment arrived for the performance, I was located high above the stage in a control room where I could get a good shot of the concert band and audio to match.

The students performed Flight of Valor with dignity and class. It had all of the emotion, intensity and inspiration associated with this very special composition. Without question, Flight of Valor was the high point of the concert.

You can watch our production of Flight of Valor at this address:

http://faceofamericawps.com/video/flight-of-valor/

On my way home, I thought about the back story, and as soon as I reached a computer I began my search for information about It Is Well with My Soul.  What I discovered is heart wrenching and inspirational.

Horatio G. Spafford, Jr., was a prominent Chicago lawyer. He and his wife, Anna, were the parents of four girls: Annie, Maggie, Bessie and Tanetta. In 1870, their only son was killed by Scarlett Fever.  In 1871, they lost all of their real estate properties in the Chicago fire. In 1873, they lost their four daughters in an accident at sea.

Spafford learned about the tragedy in a telegram from his wife.  It read” “Saved alone. What Shall I do?”

After the telegram arrived, Spafford left for England to join his wife.  He wrote the lyrics for It Is Well with My Soul shortly after the ship that was taking him to England passed the spot where the accident occurred. The opening stanza summarizes his feelings and speaks to his great faith:

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Many believe It Is Well with My Soul is one of the most comforting Christian hymns. It speaks to faith and hope in the face of unimaginable pain and sorrow. It is the perfect model for Flight of Valor which celebrates the courage, determination, heroism and patriotism of the passengers and crew of United Flight 93. On May 17, the North Plainfield Concert Band captured all of the emotions expressed in Spafford’s hymn and Swearingen’s composition. It was an extraordinary Face of America moment and a proud memory for everyone in North Plainfield, New Jersey.

On this Memorial Day weekend it is well for our soul to remember all those who lost their lives on September 11, 2001, and the 1,007,448 men and women who have given their lives for our country since 1775. They are the face of American freedom. Their courage, honor, sacrifice and valor must never be forgotten. They paid the price for our freedom, and we are in their debt.

Tony & Kitch Mussari

Living Prayers, Celebrations and Mother’s Day 2011

By Tony Mussari
Copyright 2011
The Face of America Project
Mussari-Loftus Associates, LTD

The worst thing in your life may contain the seed of the best. Joe Kogel

Kitch’s Journey: Pleasant Surprises

On Thursday Kitch had her second 280 mg Taxel treatment, and we had an eye opening experience that will remain in our hearts forever.

To be perfectly honest, Kitch dreads going for chemotherapy. She fears the needles, the chemicals and the consequences of the drugs. Two days before the appointment you can see the dread in her eyes.

Nevertheless, she does not complain, and she musters all the positive energy she has to handle the situation with calm acceptance, courage and dignity.

Several friends old and new, some of our relatives like my daughter, my sister, my niece Theresa from Maryland and my cousin Kathy and her daughter  Susan from New York, help us get ready for the inevitable with encouraging  notes, calls and acts of kindness.

Friends we made in North Plainfield, New Jersey and at Fox Chase in Philadelphia are always there for us with positive words and helpful suggestions.

Two breast cancer survivors who we have never met, Pat and Kathy write thoughtful notes and our friends Janie, Jayne and Chuck from Shanksville, and Bill from Orwigsburg are there for us in meaningful ways.

Our friends Julie from California and Marilyn from Dallas and Tulsa respectfully, and Elisa from Long Island have been nothing short of inspirational in what they have done and continue to  do to lift our spirits.

Our friend Bob from Portland has shared every phase of his wife’s experience  with us so we can be prepared for every eventuality.

Ann Marie, the mother of one of our formers students, has been very kind and  very helpful in all the ways that matter.

Our Neighbor Theresa, has baked delicious German pastry for Kitch, and another  neighbor who is dealing with a life threatening illness brought her daughter  and her grandchildren to the garden on one of the few sunny days of this otherwise  damp, dark, and very wet spring.

Nothing brings hope like the innocence of a child, and these children are wonderful in the questions they ask about the garden, the fish and the frog.

Marlene from Ashley and Gerry from Delaware baked the most delicious Irish  Soda Bread we have ever eaten.

Dr. Richard Loomis, my former teacher and chemotherapy patient, is sharing  his experience and showering Kitch with prayers for recovery.

If you ask kitch to describe these people, she will tell you they are the Face of America on its best day, and we are the beneficiaries of their kindness.

Living Prayers

There is no way we can repay these people and many others whose names we have not mentioned in this newsletter, but there is a way we can follow their example, and that is what we try to do.

Yesterday while Kitch was sleeping during the last phase of her treatment, I talked with one of the cancer patients who has been friendly to us. She is an older woman who is always alone.  Her only  companion is her walker. During our conversation she began to cry. She is suffering mightily, and she is in a very difficult circumstance. She needs additional medical care for the Neuropathy that has swelled her feet and her left arm, but she is reluctant to make additional appointments because her son works at night and he sleeps most of the day.

This is not a woman of wealth or connections. She is a widow living on a social security income who is waging her second battle against breast cancer. The painful and haunting look on her face touched my heart, and I promised her I would do something to help.

During her daily telephone call I mentioned the situation to Ellen Mondlak, our lifetime friend and cancer patient. Ellen connected me with a wonderful woman we met during the production of Windsor Park Stories, Brenda Lispi. Brenda works for the bureau of the aging. The result of these conversations was positive. 

Last evening, I called our fellow traveler on the dark gravel road, and I gave her the telephone numbers of the organizations that will help her find a  solution to her problem. The pain on her face enabled us to do something I learned in grade school at St. Mary’s. “When you can’t say a prayer, live the prayer with a kind deed or a thoughtful gesture.” To be honest, I have found living prayers to be the best prayers.

To everyone who has been kind to Kitch during her walk along the dark gravel road called cancer, this prayer was for you.

Two Wonderful Events

Last Sunday, Our Face of America Journey took me Misericordia University in the morning, Wilkes University at night.

Scholarship recognition day at Misericordia is always a special event, and this year was no exception. In fact, it was extra special for me because the new director of development, Jim Bebla, is a former student of mine.  

Jim is a wonderful person and a consummate professional with a heart of gold. There is nothing more gratifying than watching a former student equal and surpass the teacher.

Congratulations Jim and best wishes for success.

Misericordia will always have a special place in my heart, and I know Kitch feels the very same way. We have only pleasant memories of the Sisters of Mercy and the members of the administration and staff. Dr. Michael MacDowell has been a very effective leader. He and the members of his faculty and staff have created innovative programs like the Women with Children Program that serve the needs of students who want to make a better life for themselves and their  children.

Jane Dessoye, Executive Director of Enrollment Management, summarized the event and the philosophy of a Misericordia education with the words of a confederate soldier Albert Pike:

"What we have done for ourselves dies with us; what we have done for others and the world, remains and is immortal.”

At the end of this visit, I took a picture that speaks to the essence of Misericordia. It reinforced something Jim said in his speech, “This scholarship brunch holds special meaning for all of us because it celebrates the wonderful caring spirit that is at the heart of the mission of the Sisters of Mercy.  And today, in this room, you can feel this joyous spirit that makes Misericordia so special.”  

Our evening at Wilkes University was a celebration of the 30th Anniversary of the Max Rosenn Lecture in Law and Humanities.  It was quite an evening for a very dear friend, Joe Savitz. Joe is affectionately known as the “First Law Clerk,” and everyone went out of their way to affirm and congratulate Joe on the work he has done to make the lecture series a success.

I was fortunate to capture one of the high points of the night for Joe, a reunion with Dr. Mollie Marti. Mollie has written a book about Judge Rosenn.  It is titled Walking with Justice. It will be published in January. This picture captures the moment when Mollie showed Joe a picture of the copy of the book cover. I think the facial expressions speak louder than any words I can write.

Congratulations Joe, you are a wonderful friend.

Congratulations, Mollie. I hope Walking with Justice is a huge success.

Writing Again

Speaking about books, after a two month hiatus while I devoted all of my time to Kitch’s needs, I started to write again this week. At the moment I am preparing material for our agent, and refining some of the chapters in the book about our Face of America Journey.

Writing is a very demanding master.  One must have patience, persistence, time and a quiet place to concentrate. In so many ways, it is an insecure and tedious process that involves writing and rewriting. On the days when the words just won’t come I spend time cleaning up our garden.

Like writing, gardening it is challenging, creative and humbling.

Happy Mother’s Day

Sunday will be the 103d time America celebrates Mother’s Day. Thanks to the determination of Anna Jarvis and her devotion to her mother, this holiday has become the second most successful commercial  holiday in America. That is not what Anna Jarvis intended it to be.

The first Mother’s Day was a day of prayer, and a celebration of peace and the virtues of motherhood.  It took place at the Andrews Methodist Church in Grafton, West Virginia.  Today this church is a central part of the International Mother’s Day Shrine in Grafton.

On Mother’s day, Kitch and I will be thinking about the many sacrifices our mothers made for us.  We will follow Anna Jarvis lead and give thanks for the blessings of our mothers.

We will remember the words of our greatest President:

I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life.

A mother understands what a child does not say.

I regard no man as poor who has a godly mother.

All I am or hope to be, I owe to my angel; mother. Abraham Lincoln

May your Mother’s Day and every day be blessed with peace, good will and good health.

Tony & Kitch

This article was originally distributed as our Face of America Journey Newsletter for May.  

Please provide feedback to tmussari@gmail.com

Eileen Burns and Ellen Mondlak: A Face of America on its Best Day

Anthony J. Mussari, Ph.D.
Producer
The Face of America Project
Copyright Mussari-Loftus Associates, 2011

I saw the Face of America on this fine evening in Pittston, Pennsylvania. It belonged to two women who gave of themselves in the best interest of their community.

These are women who were born and raised in the place they call home. They are not rich or famous in the ways of the world. They are not celebrities. They are not household names. They are much more important than any of those popular terms. What they have done during their lifetime has touched the lives of thousands of people in positive, productive, endearing and quiet ways.

These two women have led exemplary lives of service to family, church and community.  

They always see opportunities for improvement and growth, and they make the most of the opportunities they see.

They were educated at local colleges and employed in local schools. For them, education is the portal to a life of success in all the ways that matter.

When they were in the classroom, they opened doors to students who to this day celebrate their goodness.

When they were asked to help their community, they willingly accepted the call, and they lived a life of service to others not themselves.

On this night, they received the praise of a grateful community. It was a celebration of two women who reflect the Face of America on its best day.

Listening to their accomplishments was like listening to a check list of what America is on its best days. It recorded a life of learning, teaching, sharing, helping and doing business in an honest and equitable way.

These two women exhibit a sense of belonging that is central to America on its best day. They are welcoming, kind, compassionate and determined to make a positive mark on the ledger of Pittston’s history.

They did it without noise or notice.

Because of their service to the Pittston Memorial Library, thousands of people, young and old, have access to a modern facility with services that accommodate the needs of the mind and the heart.

Yes, they were part of the renaissance of the Pittston Memorial Library, but it is more than the beautiful building they helped come to life. It is the welcoming spirit and the symbolism of this place where people gather as if it were an extension of their living room. 

On this night, they were honored for years of dedicated service to the Pittston Memorial library, and everyone who gathered in the Mt. Carmel Parish Center saw a beautiful Face of America. It belonged to Eileen Burns and Ellen Mondlak. These women share much in common. They are wives, mothers, teachers, leaders, and pathfinders for positive change in the community they love.

The legacy of their Face of America was best described by Albert Einstein: Only a life lived in the service of others is worth living.

Thank you Eileen Burns and Ellen Mondlak, you have made a lasting mark in our little corner of the world.  You deserve the Jean Yates Award, because your Face of America is an example of what America is all about on its best day, and for that we are eternally in your debt.

tmussari@gmail.com, www.faceofamericawps.com

Laurie McDonald: A Genuine Face of America

Anthony J. Mussari, Ph.D.
Producer
The Face of America Project
Copyright Mussari-Loftus Associates, 2011

I saw the Face of America on this fine day in Leesburg, Virginia. It belonged to a woman of dignity and class, a woman with a caring heart, a woman who leads by example, a woman who is generous and kind, a woman who nurtured, helped, encouraged, and taught students who were placed in her care for 38 years.

This Face of America always looked beyond the obvious to see the innate goodness in everyone she met.

This Face of America always looked for ways to make people feel good about who they are and what they do.

This Face of America had a perfect blend of competence, caring, compassion and love that characterized her work.

This Face of America belonged to Laurie McDonald, the principal at the Evergreen Mill Elementary School.

Laurie was a mother, a wife, a teacher to many, and someone who was very special to her students, faculty, staff, and grandparents like me.

What made her so special was the magical way she had with students and the welcoming environment she created in her classroom and her school. She was a teacher first, last and always.

Central to her being was a belief that schools are a place for creative learning, a sanctuary for growth, a place of hope, happiness and tranquility in a turbulent world.

Everything about the Evergreen Mill Elementary School in Leesburg, Virginia, spoke to the heart and soul of Laurie McDonald. From the moment you entered the building to the time you left, you felt the energy of belonging, community, discovery, happiness, and service to others. You felt the spirit of America on its best days.

Laurie McDonald was woman of beautiful ideas, beautiful deeds and beautiful thoughts. Her life is a priceless collage of accomplishment that was deeply rooted in her limitless love for her students, her respect for the profession of teaching, and her keen understanding that education works best when educators cultivate a productive relationship with parents and members of the family.

After more than a generation of experience and outstanding community leadership, Laurie McDonald recently took a medical leave of absence to courageously battle an insidious form of cancer that weakened her body but not her spirit.

The news of her passing brings with it great sadness, and a profound sense of loss.

Would that every student in America had a principal like Laurie McDonald, what a wonderful gift this would be.

Would that every teacher in America had a principal like Laurie McDonald, what an effective teaching team it would be.

Would that every parent in America had a principal like Laurie McDonald to work with, what an enjoyable experience it would be.

For those of us who were privileged to know Laurie McDonald, the term Face of America takes on new meaning and purpose, because Mrs. McDonald, as she was respectfully known by her students, was a radiant example of what America is on its best days.

Laurie McDonald’s Face of America will live on as an example to others of why education is important and how it can work for the good of everyone involved.

When I think about the life and legacy of Laurie McDonald, the words of Thomas Merton apply: “Every moment and every event of every man’s life on earth plants something in his soul.”

Thank you Mrs. McDonald for planting thoughts of learning, life and growth in the lives of those of us who admired and respected who you were, what you did to transform the lives of students and the kind and gentle way you did it. Yours is a Face of America we will never forget.

tmussari@gmail.com, www.faceofamericawps.com

Tom McGrath: The Gift of Friendship

Anthony J. Mussari, Ph.D.
March 24, 2011

A true friend…advises justly, assists readily, adventures boldly, takes all patiently, defends courageously, and continues a friend unchangeably.William Penn

On April 15, 2010, I wrote a Face of America Commentary about a lifetime friend, Tom McGrath. Since then, Tom’s life has been a medical nightmare. He has been in and out of the emergency room, in and out of the hospital, in and out of the operating room, in and out of physical therapy. Only his indomitable will to live kept him alive

On March 21, Tom McGrath said good bye to his family, and he went home to meet his God.

Tom’s passing caused me to think about life, death and everything in between. It prompted me to write about the most endearing characteristic of this man I have known and admired for more than fifty years.

One of the greatest gifts of my life was my friendship with Tom McGrath. It began when I was a teenager living on East South Street in Wilkes-Barre, PA. One fine day a handsome couple moved into an apartment next to our home.

Mrs. McGrath, as we knew her then, was a beautiful woman. Mr. McGrath was a friendly man. In my adolescent mind, he had special privileges because he was always nice to my dad, and he was a Yankee fan.

During those years, we lived in a neighborhood where people knew and cared about one another. Mr. Frank Gering delivered Stegmaier beer by day, and he baked wonderful pies and cakes at night. His face glowed when he knocked on the door with a fresh baked pie in hand and said, "Hi Bub, I have a surprise for you and your parents."

Mr. Joseph George, Tom McGrath’s landlord, owned a furniture store at the corner of East South Street and Park Avenue less than two blocks from his home. More than half a century later, you can see the remnants of the sign that brought customers to his store.

My father worked for the Delaware andHudson Rail Road. One of his greatest joys was sitting on our front porch of our double block home where every night he talked with Tom McGrath.

Why, you ask?

Because Tom McGrath was friendly, open, honorable, trustworthy, kind, respectful, complimentary, loyal and joyful. In a way, Tom McGrath was my father’s third son.

None of us had a lot of money. Our wants were measured, but our hearts were open, generous and filled with the joy of living in a community of good neighbors.

We knew who we were, and we were happy and content to be ourselves without any pretentions.

I learned how to be a good friend by watching Tom and my dad.

I learned how to be a good person by watching Tom and my dad.

I learned how to be a good neighbor by watching Tom and my dad.

After my father’s death in 1967, I learned how to manage the bumps in the road of life by listening to the kind words of encouragement that always came from the heart and soul of Tom McGrath.

During my teenage years, I knew he liked me.

During my young adult years, I knew he cared about me, and during the years of the gift of age, I knew he loved me. These priceless gifts helped me at every stage of my life.

Yes, we had a special relationship, but I dare say everyone Tom knew had a special relationship with him, because he had a heart of gold, a gift for pleasant conversation, the personality of a leprechaun and rock-solid loyalty that make friendships work.

Tom McGrath was the real deal in a word of second editions.

In one of our conversations during his illness, he shared these thoughts:

The most prized possession I have is my faith

Education is the most important portal to success

I never felt neglected because I had a good family, good friends, a good job and good travels.

When I think about Tom McGrath four words come to mind: family, faith, friendship and goodness.

Whenever, we talked, he made beautiful references to his family and his faith in God. It was a humble, inspiring, unencumbered faith.

He loved his wife, Flo, completely. He loved his children, Tommy, Jimmy, Mary Ann, Michael and Sean, with passion that was absolutely pure.

Those of us who were blessed by his friendship felt affirmed and enhanced by the poetry of his compliments and his encouragement.

When you were in his company the goodness of his heart made you feel a life-sustaining sense of belonging.

The last time I spoke to Tom McGrath all of these qualities were evident in our brief conversation. During a very private moment, I told him I loved him, and from his heart he replied with the same words.

Then, I asked him to do me a favor.

When you get to the other side, please tell my parents and my brother I love them.

He forced a smile, and he replied, "I will."

Thomas Merton best described the life and legacy of Tom McGrath, the husband, father, friend and neighbor we honor on his day of parting when he wrote these words:

Every moment and every day of every man’s life plants something in his soul.

Tom McGrath planted beautiful words and beautiful thoughts in my soul ever time we talked.

Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone-we find it with one another.

Love seeks one thing only: the good of the one loved.

For more than 50 years Tom McGrath taught me and everyone he met the meaning of life, the importance of friendship and the power of love. For that and so much more, I will never forget him.

Thank you, Tom McGrath for giving us the beauty of your friendship and the magic of your kind words. In the lives of many, your friendship has made all the difference. We are better people because we knew you and were touched by your goodness and your radiant Face of America on its best day.

Kitch and I are saddened by your passing, but we are consoled by the fact that you are at rest in the peace and joy of the God you love.

A No C’s Weekend in Washington, D.C.

By Tony Mussari
Pictures by Kitch Loftus Mussari
Mickey Thompson
Copyright 2011
The Face of America Project
Mussari-Loftus Associates, LTD

All of us might wish at times that we lived in a more tranquil world, but we don’t. And if our times are difficult and perplexing, so are they challenging and filled with opportunity. Robert F. Kennedy

The Emily J.T. Perez Foundation Banquet

Kitch and I spent a no"C’s" weekend in Washington, D.C. (no video camera, computer, or talk about cancer). We could not stay with my daughter in Virginia, because her husband had the H1N1 virus so we made arrangements to stay at the Sheraton National Hotel in Arlington, Virginia. It was a wonderful choice for many reasons: price, location, beautiful accommodations, and its proximity to the Army Navy Country Club.

We went to our Nation’s Capital to participate in the annual banquet sponsored by the Emily J. T. Perez Foundation.  2d Lt. Emily Perez is the inspiration for our Face of America project. She is a shining example of “The New Greatest Generation.” She was 23-years- old when she lost her life in Iraq. Her parents, Vicki and Daniel are supporters of our project and friends we admire and respect.

Kitch and I were asked to produce a video about Emily. It was scheduled during the first part of the program and appropriately called “A Moment with Emily” by the Mistress of Ceremonies, JC Hayward.

J C is one of the most respected women in television in the Washington area.  She is woman of dignity and class. She is a pathfinder in the truest meaning of the term.  JC Hayward was the first female news anchor in Washington. She anchors WUSA’s 9 News Now at Noon, and she produces “JC and Friends.”   It is always a delight to share a podium with JC Hayward.

We were very touched by JC Hayward’s comments about our work:

How wonderful it was to be with you for the 3rd annual Emily J.T. Perez dinner!  The event has become a special engagement for me and I am honored to be a part of such an august fund-raiser. I don’t have to tell you how special Emily was and is. Your video captured her life, her passion and her inspiration. You should be commended for your hard work and the spirit you produced. It is obvious that you put your heart and soul into the project and it is evident that you care deeply about Emily. I was so happy when the foundation honored you for your lasting support. The Perez family is indebted to you and we all thank you for your sincere dedication to the life of this soldier.

When the video ended, Vicki and Daniel Perez accepted the National 9/11 Remembrance Flag. In a very real way, this is their flag, bcause their daughter gave her life for America in the aftermath of the day the earth stood still for America. For this and so much more Emily and her parents will always be associated with America at its very best.

You can see Emily’s video at this address:
http://faceofamericawps.com/video/2d-lt-emily-j-t-perez/

Moving Beyond Your Now

Mechelle Lewis was the keynote speaker. She is an Olympian and a professional track and field athlete. Her curio cabinet is filled with awards for the 100 meter dash and the 4×100 meter relay.  On this evening she spoke words that had special meaning for the young women in the room who are participating in the Emily’s Way Mentoring Program.  

Mechelle’s words resonated with Kitch and me:

You must move beyond where you are.

If you want to get better at anything surround yourself with the best, a mentor, someone who has done it before.

Rely on emotions and you will experience insecurity.

Rely on faith and you will open the door to miracles. Faith is an action word.

Everything in your now that doesn’t make sense will one day. The question is, “Do you have the strength to keep moving forward?”

See yourself beyond where you are now. See yourself where you want to be. With sacrifice, heart, excellence, and resilience, you can get there.

When Mechelle finished her speech, she received an enthusiastic and well deserved response from everyone in the room.

A Very Special Moment

During the last part of the program, Kitch and I were taken by surprise when Vicki Perez gave us one of the two Emily’s Way Service Awards for 2011. It was a singular moment of joy, humility, peace and satisfaction. It was a feeling unlike any other we had experienced during our Face of America journey. When our eyes met Vicki’s, no words were necessary. The warmth of her embrace and the tears in her eyes told us we were home in a place where we belonged.

Standing next to JC Hayward, an Emily’s Way 2011 Service Award winner and Vicki and Daniel Perez, my thoughts drifted back to a moment in 1968, when young, idealistic students were seeking a newer world of justice, equality and peace.

It was a dark time in our history, but the bullets from assassin’s guns could not stop the march to freedom and justice.

All these years later the adolescents of those years are the seniors of today trying to understand these turbulent times.

On this night we were standing together as equal partners in a common cause. We were standing together celebrating Emily. We were sending a clear message that the dream we share with her is very much alive and living in the work of her foundation and in the lives of the young women the foundation serves.

We were standing in the light of our heroes who spoke words that inspired us and made this moment possible:

“Some men see things as they are and ask why? I dream dreams that never were and ask, why not?” Robert F. Kennedy

“Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.“ Martin Luther King, Jr.

On this evening in February, in the shadow of memorials named in honor of Washington, Jefferson and Lincoln, everyone in the room was walking in the light of Emily, Robert and Martin. It was a Face of America moment we will never forget.

Irony and Serendipity

Emily Perez was born on February 19, 1983. More than a generation before her birth 70, 000 U.S. Marines were invading Iwo Jima during the final stage of World War II.

On this weekend, veterans from that famous battle were commemorating the 66th Anniversary of the Battle of Iwo Jima. The Sheraton National Hotel in Arlington was the headquarters for their convention. For me, seeing these men was like a trip back to my childhood.  These soldiers were larger than life when I was child. These are the men who taught my generation what we know about courage, honor, masculinity, patriotism and loyalty. These men of the Greatest Generation and their wives walk with dignity and grace. They have a special aura about them, and they can teach us much about the Face of America on its best day, because they are the Face of America on its best day.

Every one of them is a national treasure. Yes, they are old.  Yes, many of them walk with assistance. Yes, their speech is slower and their hearing may be a bit impaired, but when they enter a room, when they shake your hand, when they look you in the eye, and when they answer a question, you know you are in the presence of greatness.

This is but one example. The first Marine we met was a very tall and very distinguished Iwo Jima veteran named John Huffhines. John lives in Richardson, Texas. This is one exchange from our brief, but memorable conversation. “It must have been quite an experience.” “It was.” He replied, “But we get over it.”

Jerry Yellan lives in Vero Beach, Florida. He is a thoughtful man with wonderful insights. He put his Iwo Jima experience into a larger context with these words: “All wars are fought for profit. Take the profit out of war, and there will be no war.”

Jerry Yellin knows something about war. He enlisted in the Army Air Corps one month before I was born. He was 19 years old when he was he was assigned to the Pacific Theater as a member of the 78th Fighter Squadron. He participated in the first land based fighter mission over Japan on April 7, 1945 and the last mission of the war on August 14, 1945. He was awarded the Distinguished Flying Cross with an Oak Leaf cluster and the Air Medal with four Oak Leaf clusters.

Jerry Yellin has written two books about the war:

The Blackened Canteen
Of War and Weddings

Call it fate, circumstance or providence, Jerry Yellin told us he had a relative who operated Davidson’s Jewelry Store in my home town, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. It was an honor to meet Jerry.

As we were preparing to leave the hotel, we met Gene E. Bell, Roy Beck and Melford Jarstad. Mr. Bell traveled from California, Mr. Beck drove with his family from Georgia, and Mr. Jarstad and his wife Lorraine flew from apple country in Wenatchee, Washington to celebrate this special anniversary.  In a very quiet and humble voice, Melford Jarstad told us he experienced all 36 days of the battle of Iwo Jima. When I asked him about his experience, his reply was short, powerful and memorable: “There isn’t much I can say any more, 6,831 dead, 21,000 injured. This will be the last time for me.”

All these men have been given the gift of age. All these men are living legacies to a much different time and place. All these men carry the wounds of war deep in their hearts, and all these men have a radiant Face of America on it best day. They are kind, helpful, thoughtful, good natured and filled with a love of country and an appreciation of freedom that is nothing short of inspiring and infectious.

During our visit with them, a young man approached Roy Beck and Gene Bell. He asked this question; “May I shake your hand?”  Mr. Beck Smiled and extended his hand. I was fortunate to capture the moment.

When I sent the digital image to Chris Leiphart, his response was prompt and heartfelt: “Thank you, sir. It was a great honor to meet true American heroes.”

One year ago this weekend, we were starting our Face of America Journey to California. Little did we know then how our journey would end. We were optimistic, enthusiastic and ready to see our country up close and in a very personal way. Despite the bumps in the road and the disappointments, we are still optimistic and enthusiastic about the places we have been, the people we have met and the opportunities we have had. We are resolved to follow the example of the soldiers we knew when we were children. Things may be a bit challenging at the moment, but we will get beyond our now. We will get over this bump in the road, because we have seen the Face of America on its best day and we are energized by the glow from its light.

Kitch’s Journey; Phase 2

Kitch had her portacath insertion surgery, her first chemo treatment and her first Neulasta, Pegfilgrastim Injection last week. During the chemotherapy treatment her blood pressure dropped, and the IV with the chemo was stopped for about 30 minutes. Since the treatment she has experienced a good deal of fatigue and a considerable amount of stomach discomfort.

Typical of Kitch, she does not complain.  At first she tried to attend to things around the house. On this the second day after the chemotherapy treatment, she has been in bed sleeping for the past several hours. During one of our conversations, she expressed several concerns about what’s ahead.

I am doing everything I can to make her comfortable, keep her spirits up and give her the help and the encouragement she needs. Being her caregiver is both joyful and painful.  In one respect, it gives me an opportunity to reciprocate for the help and support Kitch has given me and so many others over the years. On the other hand, it is very hard to watch her struggle. It is even more painful to see the anxiety, fear and frustration in her eyes.

Acts of Kindness and Encouragement

During the past two weeks, we have been blessed with acts of kindness that lift our spirits as we navigate this dark road with its many twists and turns:

Rob Anderson a member of our last class participated in a breast cancer awareness and fund-raising event in Florida. He proudly wore a sign that touched our hearts, “Dedicated to Mom & Kitch;”

On Valentine’s Day a friend arranged to have the Barbershop Quartet, Three Friends and a Baritone come to our home to serenade Kitch;

The Fox Chase Women’s Cancer Center published the Face of America article we wrote about our visit to Fox Chase on their website. This happened because one of our former students, Katy Finn, sent the article to one of her friends who had breast cancer surgery at Fox Chase. She, in turn, sent the article to the administrator of the women’s Cancer Center at Fox Chase. You can read the article at this address;
http://pubweb.fccc.edu/strongtogether/

Guedis Cardenas, the president of the senior class at North Plainfield High School in New Jersey wrote a beautiful review about the impact of our screening at the High School the day after we learned that Kitch had cancer. You can read the review in the Articles section of the Face of America website. http://faceofamericawps.com/articles/

Elisa Nelson, our friend from the Stony Brook University Medical Center made Kitch a beautiful hat. Her hand written message speaks to the goodness of her heart: “This hat was knitted for you to keep you warm during cold days. Please know that a prayer was said for each stitch, and it is sent to you with the very best wishes and positive energy.”

Julie Marvel is doing everything she can to enable us to return to St. Mary’s College in Moraga, California, to give a guest lecture in her class.

At the Surgical Specialty Center where Dr. Dan Kopen performed Kitch’s Portacath Insertion surgery, we experienced a perfect blend of competent and compassionate care from Dr. Kopen, Dr. Chang, Nurse Anesthetist Jerry Flora, Diane Mucha, R.N., Debbie Biago, R.N. and Annette Levandoski, R.N. Another nurse at the center, Janett Kane-Walsh, was vry nice to us.

Our grandchildren, Julia and PJ, sent Kitch a beautiful bouquet of Gerbera Daisies, the day after her first Chemo Treatment.

Michelle Sackett our friend in California, who carved all of the rocks in our Garden of Life, sent Kitch a beautiful friendship rock for good luck.

During our visit to Washington, Admiral Sally Brice O’Hara and her husband Bob took us to brunch at the the Carlyle Restaurant in Shirlington, VA. It was a delightful experience of good conversation and shared moments of friendship and reunion.

One of the friends we made during our Face of America visit to Portland, Oregon, Bob Schumacher, prepared a narrative about his experiences as a caretaker for his wife who is going through chemotherapy. His experiences have been very helpful to us.

Almost every day Kitch receives a note, a card or an e-mail from someone with an encouraging message, and every day our friend Ellen Mondlak calls to offer encouragement. Ellen just finished her chemotherapy treatments.

In my mind’s eye, these are the Faces of America on its best day, and we are the beneficiaries of their kindness.  

To everyone who has taken the time to help lighten our burden and give us hope, we thank you for your kindness and your friendship. They mean so much to us during these difficult days.

What Kitch and I are learning during this part of our Face of America Journey can best be summarized with an adaptation of Henri Nouwen’s beautiful words:

The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of confusion or despair… who can tolerate not knowing… not healing… not curing…who can be patient with our human imperfections and our anxieties…the person who refuses to give up on us when we are in the dark house…the person who reaches out to ease the pain and uncertainty that is a friend indeed.

We hope that all of your stories have happy endings

Tony & Kitch
Please provide feedback to tmussari@gmail.com

The digital pictures of the Emily Perez Foundation Award Presentation were made available by
Mickey Thompson, www.socialsightings.com

Our Face of America Journey to the Fox Chase Cancer Center in Philadelphia.
Written by Tony Mussari
Copyright 2011
Mussari-Loftus Associates, LTD

Always expect the unexpected. James Patterson

With all due respect to “the man who transformed book publishing,” James Patterson, some things in life are unexpected and unwanted. They come without warning.  They test your strength. They sap your energy, and they turn your life upside down.

That’s exactly what happened to Kitch and me on December 9, 2010, when Kitch was diagnosed with breast cancer.

Since that day, virtually all of our time and energy has been focused on a six letter word that no one wants to hear, and everyone wants to avoid.

According to the National Cancer Institute, breast cancer is the most common form of cancer in women other than skin cancer. In 2010, Kitch was one of the 207,090 women diagnosed with breast cancer.  That’s the bad news.

The American Cancer Society estimates there are 2.5 million breast cancer survivors living in America. That’s the good news.

Our goal is to make sure that Kitch will become a member of that group. We have been blessed with excellent advice and care from Dr. Dan Kopen and his team of nurses and assistants. A recent visit with Dr. David Greenwald and members of his staff reassured us that improved methods of chemotherapy will give Kitch a higher probability of beating this cancer and avoiding the probability that other cancers might develop.

Both Dr. Kopen and Dr. Greenwald encouraged us to seek a second opinion, and we are very thankful they did.

On Wednesday, February 9, we packed our Prius with a folder of CD’s containing all of the data from several medical tests and the glass slides containing the pathology of tissue samples taken during her biopsy and operation, and we drove to the Fox Chase Cancer Center in Philadelphia.

From our first contact with the attendant in the parking garage to our parting farewell to a young woman named Michelle, every experience at Fox Chase was positive, welcoming, comforting, helpful and reassuring.

Cancer patients and their caregivers are filled with anxiety and fear. There are so many unknowns and so many worries. It’s not only the disease itself; it’s the disruption it causes in one’s life, the loss of privacy, the worry about the cost of care and the uncertainty about the future. At Fox Chase, everyone you meet is sensitive to these issues and much more. To them you are not a client. You are a patient who needs help.  You are not being treated by a provider.  You are visiting with and talking to a medical doctor who cares about you and the problems you are facing.

In all things big and small, Fox Chase is an example of patient care at its best. When you enter the facility, you are greeted by a personable and thoughtful attendant who helps you register. The young woman who worked with us was named Michelle. She was flexible and very accommodating. She made registration a pleasant and human experience not an exercise in robotics. When I made a mistake, she was understanding. She did not embarrass or scold me.

When we reached the registration desk adjacent to the waiting room, we were greeted again by a person, not a blaring television set or loud music.  At Fox Chase, there is no television set. In its place there are people who talk with you and help you. When I explained that I was writing an article about our experience, Nurse Navigator, Jessie Schol was more than willing to have her picture taken with Kitch.

Once inside the examining room, Kitch was greeted by a wonderful nurse, Jacqui Kelly, who explained the procedure and then she gave her a surgical robe that was freshly ironed.

Dr. Saad Khan, a fellow in medical oncology, visited with us for almost 45 minutes.  He began our conversation with these words, “Good afternoon, I am Dr. Kahn. Let me see how I can help you.” That set the tone for a very productive conversation about probabilities and possibilities. It helped us to put things into perspective. Dr. Khan has been working in medical oncology for 18 months.  He made a very favorable impression, because he made a human connection with us.

When Dr. Lori Goldstein entered the room, she greeted us with a smile and a handshake that radiated concern, compassion and competence. Dr. Goldstein was invited to become a member of the Fox Chase team 20 years ago. She is a woman of dignity, class and grace.  We did not know that she was recently selected as one of Philadelphia’s top doctors, and she gave us no indication that she was anything but a very competent doctor concerned about Kitch’s welfare.  

Dr. Goldstein spoke a language that we understood, because she has a gift for translating complex medical data into sentences her patients understand. During her conversation with us she made us feel comfortable with news we did not want to hear by reassuring us that the chemotherapy treatment Kitch needs is something she will be able to tolerate both physically and psychologically.

While we were with Dr. Goldstein, both Dr. Kahn and nurse Kelly were in the room. All three were focused on Kitch and her needs, and all three acted with kindness and respect. They were not rushed, they were not imperious. They were generous with their time and willing to answer any and all questions.

Obviously most of the moments were serious, but believe it or not, there were moments of humor and laughter.

For a cancer patient and a caregiver, there are no perfect scenarios, there are no perfect moments, but in my mind’s eye our experience at Fox Chase with Dr. Lori Goldstein and her colleagues was about as close to perfection as one can get.

What made it that way is a very simple, but often neglected element. Fox Chase is dedicated to scientific research in its effort to prevail over cancer, but it has not lost sight of the importance of the human connection. Battling cancer demands an effort of the heart as well as the mind. Everything we experienced during our visit provided the scientific answers to our questions, and the encouragement we needed to move forward. Our Fox Chase experience was a perfect blend of the heart and the mind.

When we arrived at Fox Chase we had great expectations and many apprehensions. When we left we had a better understanding of our situation, and a sense of confidence that we could meet the challenges of the next six months with confidence, hope and optimism.

To put it another way, the psychology and the physiology are now aligned, and we are ready to take the next step in our battle with cancer. We are prepared to experience the unexpected.

Thank you Dr. Lori Goldstein, Dr. Saad Khan, Jacqui Kelly, RN, Jessie Schol, RN, receptionist Pat and Michelle.

Thank you Dr. Dan Kopen, and Dr. David Greenwald.

You are the Face of America on its best day and we are blessed to know you     

Tony & Kitch Mussari
Producers
The Face of America Project
tmussari@gmail.com

Going Home!
Written by Tony Mussari
Copyright 2011
Mussari-Loftus Associates, LTD
Photographs of flag presentation provided by John McAndrew

Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose. Kevin Arnold, The Wonder Years

Two weeks ago, Kitch and I made a sentimental journey to a place I called home for most of my life. In 1959, King’s College became part of my life, and my life has never been the same since my first day on what was then a very small and humble campus.

Less than ten years later, I was invited to return to King’s to fill in for a teacher who was on sabbatical. That one year position became a 37 year commitment to King’s College in a number of different capacities. My first assignment was in the History department. In 1983, I was asked to chair a Mass Communications department that was down on its luck, and the rest as they say is history.

On this day, Kitch and I put our worries about her battle with breast cancer in a box as a friend would say. We picked up the man who had the greatest impact on my life when I was a student at King’s and the person who gave me the teaching position in 1968, Dr. Richard Loomis, and we drove to King’s to present the National 9/11 Remembrance Flag to Fr. Thomas O’Hara.

In the parking lot, we had a brief reunion with another former teacher, and a member of King’s first class, Joe Balz.

Once inside the Sheehy-Farmer Campus Center, we were joined by a group of friends and supporters of our Face of America project. While we exchanged pleasantries, I could feel a swell of emotion building as memories of a lifetime in the classroom flashed through my mind.

At the appointed time, Fr. O’Hara arrived, and we made the flag presentation in the same room where Kitch and I said farewell to our last class. It was a bitter sweet moment. The words of Joni Mitchell’s Big Yellow Taxi apply. “Don’t it always seem to go
that you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.”

After the presentation, we followed Fr. O’Hara to the conference room named in honor of his parents. Once there, we had coffee, dessert and an opportunity to express our gratitude for the help we received during our Face of America Journey.

Everything went smoothly until I was asked to speak.

Then it happened.

I stood up, looked into the faces of former students, colleagues, friends, Dr. Loomis and Kitch, and there was silence. 

I was so filled with emotion, I could not speak. It was an uncomfortable and a beautiful moment. Everything I felt about this place I called home for so many years rushed from my brain, but it was blocked by my heart. The sound of silence spoke louder than any words I could speak.

After what seemed like an eternity, the silence was broken with an expression of gratitude, a summary of the highlights of our Face of America project, mention of the 23 former students who helped us during our journey, an in-the-moment from the heart proposal and a conclusion about being home.

Fr. O’Hara spoke words of welcome and gratitude for the flag that will one day be permanently displayed on the campus.

Then it was over. The room emptied, and we said farewell to King’s in much the same way we did almost six years ago.

In the days that followed, Kitch and I received thoughtful, heartfelt and very generous notes from just about everyone who attended the event. They have been carefully placed in a special file.

Dr. Loomis captured the spirit of the event in a poem he wrote. It speaks to one of the fundamental characteristics of America on its best days and the America Dream.

Home Again
For Tony & Kitch

Does it matter that the Laurel Line
Runs no more with a merry rumble

Past the Administration Building
To the railroad heart of the city
And back again the other way to Scranton?
Who really cares that almost
None of those kids owned a car,
Or that they who were called men then
Are called kids today. Does it matter?

Yes it does. Give us those men,
Give us those veterans, give us
Those students broken to learning
By parents and nuns who knew
You break a boy like you break a horse,
So he’s good for something and knows
To get somewhere and be better off.

It matters that Father Kline
No longer kneels to beg the Holy Spirit
To plunge our brains into the Heart
Of His light and help us reckon
Rightly, Truly and count our blessings,
Beginning with parents and teachers
Who taught us good sense or else.

Old teachers still hang around, though,
Old students turned to adults are here
And walk these halls. And, yes,
That’s good, but where we are
In our youth? Where is that
Ignorance of ours that hungered
For learning? Ah, learning is here.

And we are the learning now.
We’ve seen much of life,
And more of human folly and greed
Than we ever wanted to see.
But there is innocence here still,

Boys become men, girls become women,
And we live together now, still learning.

We are home again where we started,
And bring the wealth of souls with us,
We tremble to be with our brothers and sisters,
And look forward to the family meal
That awaits us now that we are home again.

January 25, 2011
Richard Loomis, Ph.D.

Thank you, Dr. Richard Loomis, Pam Bird, Suzanne McCabe, Teresa Peck, John Augustine, Joe DeVizia, Sean McGrath, Fr. Tom O’Hara and Frank Oliver.

A special note of thanks to Elaine Zavada for making all the arrangements.

This is one day of our Face of America Journey that we will never forget.

George Parks: A Genuine Face of America
By Tony Mussari
Copyright, Mussari-Loftus Associates, LTD

Death is someone you see very clearly with eyes in the center of your heart. Thomas Merton

The news of the passing of Professor George N. Parks broke my heart and left me breathless.

It just couldn’t be true.

George Parks, the Director of the UMass Minuteman Marching Band, personified life. He had more energy than Vesuvius. He was a music man with a dream. He was a force in the lives of many and an inspiration to thousands of people whose lives were changed by his dedication, determination and charismatic leadership.

Over the years, George and I forged a friendship that was priceless. We lived in different states. We were committed to different artistic disciplines. Yet, in matters of the heart and soul we were brothers, fathers and teachers.

From the moment we met, I felt the powerful gravitational pull of his quest for excellence. I was touched by his determination to teach young people the quiet secrets of a happy life. Be on time. When you get there, do your very best. Never give in to the temptation to be just good enough. Always strive to be better. Always conduct yourself in a dignified and responsible way. Never forget to be there for someone in need, someone who is hurting, someone who is lost and forgotten.

Most people knew George Parks as the enthusiastic, energetic leader of the UMass Band. Indeed, that was his love, his passion and his reason for getting up in the morning. During his lifetime, he earned the respect and the accolades that measure success in a tangible way.

But beneath the exterior of this man in motion, there was a very big and very caring heart. George was a very reflective man who measured his success in other ways. As friends, husbands and parents, we shared some life experiences that formed the canvas of our friendship. In the quiet moments of his life, I got to know him in a very special way.

Yes, there were moments of high energy and pure joy like the time he brought the entire UMass band to the college where I taught for the premiere of his favorite documentary, Building Power and Class.

In typical George Parks fashion, when we were denied permission to march on the newly sodded football field, he took over the main street in the town for a performance that will never be replicated. That’s the George the public knew and loved. That was George the performer. That was George living what he taught his students, playing through the mistake.

The George I knew was a positive influence in my life. He was thoughtful, reliable and kind. He was there when I retired from teaching, when I was recovering from open heart surgery and when I began our Face of America Journey.

The George Parks I knew was a person who always had an encouraging word, a grateful word, an affirming word.

The George Parks I knew, I admired and I loved never forgot his friends.

The George Parks I knew was the man who called me every year from a special spot in Ohio where we shared a special memory. The George Parks I knew was the man who called on Father’s Day and talked for more than an hour about what fathers talk about when they are assessing the successes and failures of their lives.

The George Parks I knew reflected the spirit of America on its very best days. He made the most of his opportunities, he loved his family and he made his students an extension of his family. He gave much, demanded much and he was never too busy to repay a favor. No matter what the success or the failure of the moment was, George Parks never forgot his roots. He never took his eyes off the stars, and he tried to get a little bit better every day.

When I think about George Parks, the words Mr. Darling spoke to Michael in Peter Pan come to mind: There are many different kinds of bravery. There is the bravery of thinking of others before one’s self.

That’s the lesson George Parks taught by example in every note he played and in every class he taught.

As I say farewell to my friend George Parks two things are certain:

We will never see anyone quite like him again;

He will always live on in the hearts of those he touched with his words, his energy, his dedication to excellence and his marvelous music.

Those of us who loved him will always keep our heads up, our eyes straight, and our feet together as we make our way to the place were we will be together with him again.

For the moment, the words of Aeschylus apply:

In our sleep, pain that we cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our own will, comes wisdom by the grace of God.

Contact us at: faceofamericawps@gmail.com

Good News: Putting the Past behind Us
Written by Tony Mussari
Copyright 2011
Mussari-Loftus Associates, LTD

Trust no future, however pleasant! Let the dead past bury its dead! Act, in the living present! Heart within and God overhead. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Kitch loves this quote from Longfellow. She memorized it when she was a child.  To this day, she has the book of Longfellow’s poems her mother gave her.  

On this day of good news, Longfellow’s words are most appropriate. Let me explain.

One month ago, Kitch and I were presented with one of the biggest challenges of our life. The day before we left for our screening in North Plainfield, New Jersey, we heard three words that changed our life forever. Invasive Duct Carcinoma.

During our many conversations that followed, Kitch voiced two requests. She wanted to keep the details of her condition private until after the holiday, and preferable until after the operation. Equally important to her was a statement she made only once, but it was central to all of our discussions and everything she did. “I want to deal with this is a way that will enable me to be proud of myself.”

In my opinion, she has done that and more. She was in Longfellow’s words “a hero in the strife.”   I am not alone in this opinion. Recently, her surgeon told her she handled the situation better than most patients who found themselves in her situation.

How did she do this?  She remained positive. She did not dwell on the six-letter word.  She preoccupied herself with the good tidings and great joy of a very special Christmas. Our home was filled day after day with former students, family and friends, people who genuinely cared about us. We honored all of the invitations we received to have dinner or lunch with friends. We packaged special homemade Christmas gifts for people who helped us during our journey.

Our grandchildren filled our home with the beautiful noise of happiness and energy. We spent an afternoon with a former teacher who fifty years before showed a boy how to become a man. We helped a dear friend who is battling cancer with little acts of kindness and consideration. We continued working on our Face of America project, and we finished the ninth chapter of our book about America on its best days.

We did everything together, and I did everything I could to help Kitch in every way that I could.

Yes, there were many days of worry and many sleepless nights filled with anxiety. But throughout the darkness of the moment, we had hope. We were convinced that if we spent too much time worrying about endings, we would lose precious time for living.

We drew strength from the example and the words of Jack Rushton and Brooke Ellison.

It’s good to be alive. Jack Rushton

Do not let adversity define who you are. Brooke Ellison

Our surgeon, Dr. Dan Kopen, is a physician of great competence and compassion. He is the personification of everything Dr. Stephen Post teaches at the Stony Brook University Center for Medical Humanities, Compassionate Care and Bioethics. Dr. Kopen gave us confidence that everything would turn out well. That became our mantra. Today, we have evidence to prove that he was right.

The treatment we received from the nurses and technicians at the Surgical Center where Dr. Kopen does surgery was first class and from the heart. From the moment we met Nurse Diane Mucha, we felt very good about this place of healing.

Being reunited with a childhood friend, Jerry Flora, the nurse anesthetist for Kitch’s operation, lessened our fears.

The post-operation care Kitch received from the Erwine nurses who came to our home was about as good as it gets in the nursing profession. To be honest, we looked forward to their visits. They were polite, respectful, understanding and their attention to details like hand hygiene was impressive.  With every visit they brightened our spirits.

So here we are on the evening of our most important visit with Dr. Kopen. His words spoken with conviction and joy filled our hearts with a kind of gratitude that defies description

As we passed him in the hallway on our way to the examining room, he smiled. He raised his right hand, pointed his index finger and said, “I have good news.”

When he joined us in the room, he offered a detailed explanation of the lab report. Then he spoke three words that we will never forget.
“It’s all gone.”  

Kitch smiled and sighed, “What a relief.”

Then he explained the radiation treatment he is suggesting and several other nuances of treatment for breast cancer.

Just before we left, Dr. Kopen said something that speaks to the essence of the man. “The greatest reward for me is being able to share this news with you. You have nothing to lose any sleep over tonight.”

The treatment Kitch received from Dr. Kopen and the members of his team was simply wonderful.

At the end of the month, Kitch will begin a regime of radiation treatments five days a week for six weeks. We will do it together as we have done everything during our journey.  This is a battle we can win and we will win. This is a story that we never wanted to tell and an experience we never wanted to have.

Some would call it a burden, and there is truth in that. We look it as an opportunity to grow closer together, to help one another, and to become more appreciative of the things that matter most in life.

As for tomorrow, the words of Longfellow’s A Psalm of Life apply:

Tell me not, in mournful numbers,
Life is but an empty dream!
For the soul is dead that slumbers,
And things are not what they seem.

Life is real! Life is earnest!
And the grave is not its goal;
Dust thou art, to dust returnest,
Was not spoken of the soul.

Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,

Is our destined end or way;
But to act, that each to-morrow
Find us farther than to-day.

Art is long, and Time is fleeting,
And our hearts, though stout and brave,
Still, like muffled drums, are beating
Funeral marches to the grave.

In the world’s broad field of battle,
In the bivouac of Life,
Be not like dumb, driven cattle!
Be a hero in the strife!

Trust no Future, howe’er pleasant!

Let the dead Past bury its dead!
Act,–act in the living Present!
Heart within, and God o’erhead!

Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of time;–

Footprints, that perhaps another,
Sailing o’er life’s solemn main,
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,
Seeing, shall take heart again.

Let us, then, be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait.

Until the next time, we hope that all of your stories have happy endings.

Tony & Kitch Mussari
Producers
The Face of America Project

Written by Tony Mussari
Photographs by Kitch Mussari
Copyright 2011, Mussari-Loftus Associates, LTD

Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man. Benjamin Franklin

Kitch and I would like to extend our best wishes to you for a New Year blessed with peace, joy and good health.

In an attempt to say thank you to the many people who helped us during our travels, we put together a slide show that summarizes some of the highlights of our Face of America Journey. It is very simple in design, and very selective in nature. It is the first in a series of video projects that will enable us to share our story with you.

The video contains images from 24 states and 50 cities. The pictures represent 276 of the more than 450 people we met during our travels.
You can see the slide show in the video section of our website:

http://faceofamericawps.com/video/memories-from-our-face-of-america-journey-3/

2010 is a year we will not soon forget.

It exceeded every expectation in terms of adventure, discovery, growth and an understanding of what is really important in life.

Our year began on the snow covered streets of Yarmouth, Maine. It ended quietly on an unseasonably warm day here at home. After a week of wonderful visits with former students, friends, Elena, Jeff and our grandchildren, the last day of the year was reserved for Kitch and me. That’s the way we have spent this special day for most of our married life. 

Like people all over the world, today we continue our journey. We look forward with hope to a future with many uncertainties and an equal number of opportunities. We take comfort in the words of Emerson:

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

Last evening, Kitch and I talked about some of the things we learned about our country and its people during our Face of America Journey.

1. In Maine, we learned to be grateful for gift of age. “You get old because you stop doing things,” Frank Knight told us. “You don’t stop doing things because you get old.” The former tree warden of Yarmouth knows what he is talking about. He is 102 years young.

2. In New Jersey, we learned to be grateful for what our friend, Richard Loomis called the genius of the young. It was Monica Ramirez, a senior at North Plainfield High School, who put everything into perspective with these words, “No matter what happens, somebody will be there to catch you.”

3. In Virginia, we learned to be grateful for the gift of grandchildren.  It was my granddaughter who taught me the importance of self-deprecating humor. “I like you Papa Tony. You make me laugh. You are funny.”  

4. In Kentucky, we developed a greater appreciation for the words of Thomas Merton, beautiful words like contemplation and silence. “In the silence of God, we taste the sweetness of our own souls, the peace of our own hearts.”

5. In Little Rock, Arkansas, we learned about the power of courage.  We were humbled by stories of the Little Rock Nine and their parents who stepped forward in 1957 to open the doors of Central High School to everyone. The words of Elizabeth Eckford apply.  “When you reach out to someone who is being harassed, it is powerful to them. You in effect, and I’m not exaggerating, you can help them live another day.”

6. On a cold night in Albuquerque, New Mexico, Dr. Robert Fugate showed us the incredible beauty of that part of space that lies beyond the earth and the moon. It was a stunning moment that we will never forget.

7. Crossing the desert in Arizona, we were enveloped in the vast expanse of open space. The mystery

8. In California, we experienced the healing power of hospitality. Former students and friends old and new welcomed us and made us feel at home. Jack Rushton shared words that to this day help us deal with the unexpected surprises life gives us. “You have to accept those things you will never be able to change.”

9. In Utah, our friend Paul Swenson opened a door to a magical afternoon with U.S. Olympians. It was an opportunity to experience excellence in ways we never dreamed possible. Lauren Cholewinski, one of the rising stars in the Olympic movement, shared words that everyone needs to hear:

“What’s impossible for one person could be just a challenge for another. You should take everything in stride as a challenge versus Oh, I can’t do this. Just look at it as I’m going to do this. I’m going to get there.”

10. In Minnesota, we learned to be grateful for the gift of life, the most precious gift of all. In the rush of morning traffic, we learned how quickly life can turn to death. We did not know it then, but we would learn this lesson again before the first phase of our project ended.

These are but a few of the lessons we learned during our journey. Each one speaks to America on its best day.  Each one is given life by the people we met.  They are a part of the mosaic of the Face of America on its best day. What we learned from them helps us to look forward with hope, optimism and a feeling of confidence in our country and its people.

Emerson’s words best describe what Kitch and I are feeling as we begin the New Year. “Write on your heart that every day is the best day of the year.”.

Christmas Thoughts from Windsor Park, Advice from Thomas Merton

Written by, Tony Mussari
Photographs by, Kitch Loftus Mussari
Copyright, 2010, Mussari-Loftus Associates, LTD

I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. Charles Dickens

As Kitch and I approach Christmas Day, memories of the people we met, the places we’ve visited, the things we learned and the responsibility we have to honor everyone who helped us find the Face of America on its best days preoccupy our thoughts.

During the past twelve months, we have learned invaluable lessons about all those things that make America “The land of the free and the home of the good.” as Dr. Stephen Post would say.  We have also learned many lessons about life, death and everything in between.

As we approach Christmas and the New Year, our hearts are filled with gratitude. Despite the obstacles and they were many, and all the other issues one faces during a project that literally crisscrossed our country ten times, we successfully completed the first phase of our search for the Face of America on its best days.
If you are reading this note, you can take satisfaction in the fact that you contributed to our success.  For that, we will always be grateful.  Because of your help, we are spending virtually every waking moment doing the work that will enable us to transition to Phase Two of our project.

As of today, we have submitted seven chapters of the book we are writing to a publisher who has volunteered to help us. We hope to have the book finished in February. Preliminary reaction from people who have read these chapters is very encouraging.

In December, the North Plainfield School District sponsored a screening of our documentary, Visiting Shanksville in the Rain. It was a wonderful evening of community and confraternity. It will serve as the prototype for similar events in other communities across the country.
Julie Marvel has invited us to return to St. Mary’s College in Moraga, California. We were honored to be asked, and we have accepted the invitation.

On Christmas Day, we will give thanks for many things, your friendship, our good fortune to have this opportunity and the gift of life. Some of the most lasting lessons we learned during our journey were about life and how fine the line is between life and death.

On the eve of the holiday that celebrates the birth of the Child of Light, I would like to share some of the most beautiful words I read this year.  They were written by one of my heroes, Thomas Merton. During the long days and nights of our journey, they gave me hope. They helped me to better understand things that, at the time, were incomprehensible. They presented images of a God who is loving, human, understanding, peaceful and joyful. They calm my fears.  They fill my heart with gratitude, and they give me perspective. I hope they will do the same for you.

Thoughts from Thomas Merton:

1. God loves you, is present in you, lives in you, dwells in you, calls you, saves you and offers you an understanding and light which are like nothing you ever found in books or heard in sermons.

2. God’s love is peace.  It is a peace that does not depend on houses, or jobs, or places, or times or external conditions. It is a peace that time and material created situations could never give.

3. What matters is to love… Love comes out of God and gathers us to God in order to pour itself back into God through all of us and bring us all back to Him on the tide of His own infinite Mercy.

4. It is only when we refuse His help, resist His will, that we have conflict, trouble, disorder, unhappiness, ruin.

5. When the spirit of God finds a soul in which He can work, He uses that soul for any number of purposes: opens out before its eyes a hundred new directions, multiplying its works and its opportunities for the apostolate almost beyond belief and certainly beyond the ordinary strength of a human being.

6. The logic of worldly success rests on a fallacy: the strange error that our perfection depends on the thoughts and opinions and applause of other men. A weird life it is, indeed, to be living always in somebody else’s imagination, as if that were the only place in which one could at last become real.

8. It was my defeat that was to be the occasion of my victory.

9. All men who live only according to their five senses, and seek nothing beyond gratification of their  natural appetites for pleasure and reputation and power cut themselves off from the charity which is the principle of all spiritual vitality and happiness because it alone saves us from the  barren wilderness of our own abominable selfishness.

10. Indeed, the truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering, the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt.

In a year of searching for the Face of America on its best days we encountered many bumps in the road.  Every time we encountered an obstacle someone would cross our path and give us encouragement and hope. Someone would give truth to the words of Thomas Merton. Someone would give us reason to keep moving forward.

Recently we finished writing chapter seven of the book about our journey. In this chapter, we introduce our readers to two of the most remarkable people we met during our travels, Jack Rushton and Brooke Ellison. It also details one of the most frightening experiences of our journey.  Without question these are two of the most beautiful people we met and two excellent examples of the Face of America on its best days.  They give truth to these thoughts:

It’s great to be aliveand don’t let adversity define you.

Christmas 2010 in our home will reflect these two comments.

They bring the spirit of Christmas to everything Kitch and I do. They pick us up when we are discouraged. They give us comfort when we are sad. They make us grateful for the opportunities we have. They help us to better appreciate what really is important in life. They cause us to give thanks for your kindness and your friendship.

Merry Christmas from Windsor Park, we hope that all of your stories have happy endings.
Tony & Kitch Mussari
Please provide feedback to: tmussari@gmail.com

North Plainfield, New Jersey: A Face of America Commentary
By Tony Mussari
Copyright 2010
Mussari-Loftus Associates, LTD

I saw the Face of America today. It belonged to a group people who came together for a special event in North Plainfield, New Jersey.

I saw the Face of America today on a brisk December evening. The atmosphere was damp, but there was nothing but warmth in the hearts of those assembled.

I saw the Face of America today. It was open, welcoming, caring, kind, and filled with anticipation.

This Face of America belonged to a school board president, Linda L. Bond-Nelson, and several members of her board of education. These are public officials who love their community and their schools.

It belonged to a Superintendent of Schools, Dr. Marilyn Birnbaum. She knows what leadership is all about.

It belonged to a high school principal, Jerard Stephenson. He knows how to make good things happen for his high school.

It belonged to a Supervisor of the Arts, Tom Mazur. His attention to detail is nothing short of amazing.


It belonged to two navy officers, MU2 Laura Carey and BM 2 Tamara Resilard. They represent their country and the U.S. Navy with dignity and class.

It belonged to a teacher and coach, Skip Pulcrano. He knows the value of service to others.

It belonged to Jessica Figueroa, a co-captain of the cheerleading squad. She knows the meaning of the word responsible. In four years of cheering, she never missed a practice, a game or an event.

It belonged to friends like Ann Marie and Frank Pizzani, their son, DJ, and Chivon and Adam MacMillan. They make life worth living.

It belonged to four members of the Rodriguez family who came to share hundreds of items from the largest private collection of 9/11 memorabilia in the State of New jersey.

This Face of America speaks to America on its best days. It is not rich. It is not famous, it is not powerful. It is reliable, inspirational, encouraging, and loyal. It speaks to America as a land of opportunity and a land of the good. It speaks to one of America’s greatest strengths, diversity.

On this evening in December, I saw the Face of America at the North Plainfield High School in New Jersey, a place of learning that is now a home for the National 9/11 Remembrance Flag.

Guedis Cardenas, president of the senior class, is right, "There are people in this world with a good heart, good will and very willing to help you." You will find them in North Plainfield, New Jersey, a place where one finds the Face of America’s tomorrow today.

The Gift of Speech: A Face of America Commentary

Written by Tony Mussari
Photographs by Kitch Loftus-Mussari
Copyright 2010
Mussari-Loftus Associates, LTD
The Face of America Project
www.faceofamericawps.com

I saw the Face of America today. It belonged to mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, aunts, uncles and grandparents who came to an athletic field in our little corner of the world.

I saw the Face of America today on a beautiful autumn morning. The October sky was filled with clouds, but there was nothing but hope in the hearts of those assembled.

I saw the Face of America today. It was filled with confidence and brimming with the humble pride of accomplishment. No one knew that better than two high school students, Courtney Sult and Rebecca Farrell, who organized this day as a class project.

This Face of America was determined to find a cure for a little known, neurological disorder called Apraxia of Speech. It affects thousands of children in the United States who are unable to execute speech movements. It locks up their voices and limits their potential.

On this October morning, 100 people walked three miles to raise thousands of dollars for research, treatment and public awareness.

Nine-year-old, Sean Freiburger, inspired these walks. His mother, Susan, organized the first walk in Pittsburgh, PA, three years ago. She is the National Walk Chairperson for the Childhood Apraxia of Speech Association of North America (CASANA). Both were among the walkers. Today, there are more than 4,000 walkers around the nation. From a small voice, a big idea has grown.

Sean has had over 700 hours of speech therapy for his diagnosis of severe speech apraxia. Thanks to receiving appropriate intensive therapy, he found his voice and he is using it to help others find theirs.

As I watched Sean, his mother and the other walkers through the viewfinder of my camera, I marveled at their determination, their optimism, their sense of community and their willingness to do whatever is required to unlock the voices that are silent and create a bright future for children who suffer from Apraxia of Speech.
If ever there was a portrait of the face of America on its best days this is it, young and old, rich and poor walking together into the light of discovery. With helping hands and caring hearts they move forward committed to their cause.

I saw the face of America on a beautiful October morning, in a small, rural community. The sound of silence was in the air, but a glorious symphony of possibilities was playing in the hearts and souls of the Americans assembled here. They were focused. They were positive. They were making progress one step at a time. They were doing what Americans do best. They were helping others.

The words of Helen Keller apply: Alone we can do so little. Together we can do so much.

For more information contact: http://www.apraxia-kids.org/

Please provide feedback to: faceofamericawps@gmail.com

Thank You

American Music 1: A Face of America Commentary

Written by Tony Mussari
Photography by Kitch Loftus Mussari
Copyright 2010
Mussari-Loftus Associates, LTD
The Face of America Project
www.faceofamericawps.com

I heard the sound of America today. It was energetic, thoughtful and filled with messages of optimism and hope.

I heard the sound of America today. It spoke of freedom, dreams and service.

I heard the sound of America today in music that was filled with thoughtful insights into the character and virtues of America on its best days.

Although not designed to connect with listeners in this way, the upbeat melodies and cleverly written lyrics had that result.

These are the words and the values the music addressed.

Let the healing water flow.
Now I really know.
I’ve been living in the past.
And it’s time to let go.

On our best days America is about looking ahead.

I think I’ll find a way.
To hold on for one more day.

On our best days, America is about perseverance.

I’m taking the long way home tonight.
I’m driving until I see the light.

Hope is central to everything America is about on its best days.

I would do anything I can.
To make your dreams come true.

America is a land of dreams dreamed and dreams fulfilled.

Do what…Do what you gotta do now.

On its best days America solves problems.

I believe in you.
Show me what it’s like to find.
Tender mercies and love so kind.

On our best days America is about belief in ourselves and service to others.

I heard the sound of America on this fine day in words composed by singer songwriter Mike Lewis. Born in Ohio, raised in New York and Oklahoma, Mike is an American with a point of view and the ability to translate the blessings of liberty, freedom, responsibility, perseverance, and kindness into music that entertains, instructs, and lights the way to a brighter day.

Now that’s a beautiful though for every day.

For more information go to: www.mikelewismusic.com

Please provide feedback to: faceofamericawps@gmail.com

Thank You