Admiral Sally Brice-O’Hara: A Woman of Character, Leadership and Responsibility

Written by Tony Mussari
and Kitch Loftus-Mussari
Copyright 2012
Mussari-Loftus Associates
The Face of America Project
www.faceofamericawps.com

The uniform does not take away heart. VADM Sally Brice-O’Hara

A Woman with a Purpose

This is a story about Rear Admiral Sally Brice O’Hara, an impressive woman by any standard. She is a woman who knows something about leadership. She is a leader who knows something about compassion and service. For 38 years she has served her country in 19 different assignments in the United States Coast Guard.

Kitch and I met Sally Brice-O’Hara in 2001 at Training Center Cape May. We were there to produce a program for our series, Windsor Park Stories. It was one of the best days of our career.

Sally was the Commanding Officer of Training Center Cape May.  She was generous with her time, and every one of her associates helped us with our work. We did not know it when we arrived, but before the visit ended we received a crash course in leadership from a woman whose friendship we earned that day.

Quiet and determined by nature, Sally took us on a walking tour of the training center. It is her style to demonstrate with acts of competence, kindness and thoughtfulness rather than embellish events and experiences with words. Watching her engage with the young men and women who would spend less than two months learning the code of conduct and the practices of the U.S. Coast Guard, three things were obvious. This was a woman who loved her job. This was a woman who enjoyed all the responsibilities that came with the job. This was a woman who did her job well. 

The Admiral’s Rules

During her interview, the person who was about to become the second female Admiral in the history of the U.S. Coast Guard talked about the values that helped her earn that honor.

She identified honesty, integrity and responsibility as the most important values she learned at home from her parents and as a child growing up with a love of horses and all things equestrian.

When she entered the Coast Guard after college, she found these values to be aligned with the core values that are proudly displayed on bulkheads around the training center: Honor, Respect, Devotion to Duty.

She was emphatic about one point.  Character does count.  It is the foundation that will last a lifetime, and it is essential to leading a good life.

She also stressed the importance of teamwork, and she made a very compelling point when she said, “I must live by these standards when I am in uniform and when I am on liberty.”

Over the years, Admiral Brice-O’Hara has taught these values as a leader, a mentor, a crisis manager and a friend.

During an interview with Veronique Freeman, she shared these thoughts:

Accountability is a vital component of leadership: accountability to one’s self, accountability to others, and accountability to the organization.

First, we should be true to ourselves, doing everything to the best of our ability. This
includes being humble enough to speak up and ask for advice when we need it – and to include others in the solution.

Second, we should always look after people who work for us, making sure they have everything they need to do their jobs well: the right equipment, adequate resources, clear policy and guidance, and strong TTP (Training, Techniques, and Procedures).

Third, we must strive to be the stellar Coast Guard men and women who wear the
uniform and represent the Coast Guard to the world – and to do so with very highest standards of drive, determination, success, and trustworthiness.

Mentoring

RADM Brice-O’Hara has very strong feelings about mentoring.  In an interview in 2009, she explained the benefits of mentoring:

My mentors contributed to my achievements with encouragement and timely advice, such as pointing me to specific things that could help expand my professional knowledge. They gave me tips on applicable courses, books and articles to read; some pushed me to seek collateral duties that would broaden my experience.

I attempt to do the same for the men and women that I mentor. Instead of focusing just on what they know, I try to open their perspectives and nudge them to things they may not have considered. Helping them understand and effectively use policies, identifying ways to take advantage of applicable tools the Service offers, or simply listening and providing a venue for venting are ways that I add value in the mentor-mentee relationship. Mentoring allows for some pretty frank conversation, which is healthy and should lead to better understanding about issues of concern.

And it works two ways, because as a mentor, generally to a more junior person, I benefit from hearing how Coast Guard policies and initiatives are received…was it as the organization intended, or were there unexpected consequences that necessitate further action by decision-makers?

…mentoring is a great way to further reinforce and embed values and principles among our fellow Guardians.

Leadership with Gratitude  

Kitch and I ended our Windsor Park Story about Sally Brice-O’Hara with this thought:

For the young men and women who join the United States Coast Guard, Rear Admiral Sally Brice-O’Hara is an example they all should imitate. As long as there are people like Sally Brice-O’Hara in the service of America our homeland will be secure.

It was 2002, and a wonderful friendship was about to begin. During the past ten years, it has grown in many human and qualitative ways since we produced Making Waves:Rear Admiral Sally Brice-O’Hara.

Kitch and I admire her attention to detail, her high expectations and standards, her respect for the dignity of the individual, her sense of reciprocity, her loyalty to friends and family.

She is a leader who never lost her sense of roots and her ability to connect with people from all walks of life. One of her most compelling characteristics is her genuine affection and appreciation for her parents, her husband and her children. She always gave them credit for their invaluable help and life-sustaining support

Sally Brice-O’Hara is a gratitude person with a heart of gold. She cares about people, and that may be her greatest strength.

In more ways than words can describe, she is an inspirational and memorable Face of America on its best day.  Every day of her service to America was a good day for America. She brought people together.  She helped people develop their talents. She affirmed the people on her team and she looked after people in a way that enabled them to find the best edition of themselves.

Admiral Sally Brice-O’Hara lived what she taught. She enabled the success of others because it is fundamental to good leadership.

Those of us who are fortunate to know her, work with her, and serve America with her are better people because of her friendship and leadership.

This month, Admiral Brice-O’Hara will retire from the Coast Guard. When she leaves her office for the last time, the words of Isaiah will apply to her leadership and her service:

She can “Go out with joy and be led forth with peace.” She never let the uniform take away her heart.

Thank you Sally for showing us the way to become better people, and better Americans.

Please provide feedback to:
tony.mussari@gmail.com

Mother’s Day: A Hero without a Headline, an Expression of Gratitude

Written by Tony Mussari
and Kitch Loftus-Mussari
Copyright 2012
Mussari-Loftus Associates
The Face of America Project
www.faceofamericawps.com

All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother. Abraham Lincoln

What is a Mother?

An article titled “The Last Mother’s Day,” caught my attention. Written by Timothy Egan, it was published in the online edition of the New York Times on Thursday, May 10. To celebrate his mother, Egan wrote these words:

When the last of your parents dies, as Christopher Buckley wrote in his memoir, “Losing Mum and Pup,” you are an orphan. But you also lose the true keeper of your memories, your triumphs, and your losses. Your mother is a scrapbook for all your enthusiasms. She is the one who validates and the one who shames, and when she’s gone, you are alone in a terrible way.

Throughout the day, I thought about my mother, and I talked with Kitch about her mom. During our conversation, we discussed the most recent trend in mothering, ”Attachment Moms.”

My mother was definitely not an attachment mom, nor was she a “Helicopter Mom.” She was a “teach your child to be responsible and stand on your own two feet mother.” Her experiences during the Great Depression and World War II had a deep and lasting impact.

My mother was the oldest daughter in a large Italian family. Her parents came to America in search of a better life. Her mother was determined, demanding and resilient. She owned and operated a neighborhood grocery store. All of her children were expected to work in that store. There were no exceptions.

My mother was a pathfinder. She wanted something more. She graduated from high school, and she became a registered nurse, something few women of her age and background did in those days.

After she married and she gave birth to her first child, she gave up nursing to become a full-time mother. What she learned from her mother, she taught by example to my brother, my sister and me.

House Rules

These were some of her rules:

1. Be respectful which meant be polite, say please and thank you, and mean what you say;

2. Be responsible which translated to: don’t be a baby, don’t depend upon others to help you, don’t complain, don’t show off, and learn how to figure things out yourself;

3. Work hard. This was a cardinal rule in our home. My brother had a paper route and so did I. He worked in a neighborhood cigar store and he drove a delivery truck.  My sister worked in a clothing store. I was the youngest, but I pulled my weight by peddling papers, shoveling sidewalks in the winter, and cleaning out basements in the summer. If I wanted to buy something like a baseball glove or an English bicycle, I had to earn money to make the purchase;

4. Get an education. My mother was absolutely inflexible on this rule. We all graduated from high school. My brother and I graduated from college. Ken earned an advanced degree in educational administration. He became an assistant superintendant for personnel. Following in my mother’s footsteps, Mary graduated from the Mercy Hospital School of Nursing. I graduated from college and I earned my Ph.D. I followed in my brother’s footsteps. I became a teacher;

5. Believe in God. My mother loved her God. She found peace and happiness in church. St. Mary’s Church was our second home. There, we learned to love God and obey His rules. To this day, the importance of a spiritual dimension to life and a sense of accountability for all that we do, or fail to do, is central to what we believe and how we behave.

6. Love your country. Patriotism is in our DNA. We got it from our parents. They loved America and the opportunities they had here. They proudly displayed the American flag on holidays. They never missed an opportunity to vote. My mother cherished the blessings of liberty, and she made sure we understood the responsibilities of American citizenship.

What Would You Say?  

During my conversation with Kitch about our mothers, she asked me this question. “If you had an opportunity to speak to your mother one more time, what would you say to her
”

Without hesitation, I replied: “Thank you mom for all that you did for us, all that you demanded of us, all that you and dad denied yourselves so that we could have a better life. Thank you for making us believe that we could be more, do more, and accomplish more than we thought we could. Thank you for giving us a good home, a good education, a good example and a good life.”

In the quiet of this Mother’s Day morning, I will have a private conversation with my mother much like the ones I have been having with her for 70 years. She knows that for all these years, in things both big and small, I have tried to make her proud of her youngest son.

These conversations always end with these words: “I am forever grateful Mom. I love you, and I hope you are in heaven.

Oliver Wendell Holmes was right: “The real religion of the world comes from women much more than men – from mothers most of all, who carry the key of our souls in their bosoms.”

My mother modeled the Face of America on its best day every day of her life, and I am blessed to be her son.

Happy Mothers’ Day.

Please provide feedback to:

tony.mussari@gmail.om

Teachers: Heroes Without Headlines, An Expression of Gratitude

Written by Tony Mussari
Pictures by Kitch Loftus-Mussari
Copyright 2012
Mussari-Loftus Associates
The Face of America Project
www.faceofamericawps.com

Mr. Mussari when I assign six pages, you will do ten. Sister Mary Hilary R.S.M.

Why?

Wherever we went during our Face of America journey, we met teachers who are making a difference in the lives of their students; teachers who care about students, teachers who love what they do, teachers who willingly make sacrifices to empower young people to dream dreams of a better life for themselves and others.

During our Face of America project, Kitch and I have spent more time in North Plainfield, New Jersey, than any other place in America. If truth be told, we have visited North Plainfield High School more than 21 times during our project.  This is where we discovered the Face of America’s tomorrow, today.  It is an earnest, hopeful, radiant Face of America.

Walking the hallways, visiting classrooms, attending school events we observed, firsthand, a kind of teaching that is designed to bring out the best in these students.

Most recently, we were part of a delegation of ten students and eight adults who visited Gettysburg in search of the greatness of America.

This week is Teacher Appreciation Week, and Tuesday, May 8, is National Teacher Appreciation Day. To celebrate the teachers in North Plainfield, and teachers everywhere, Kitch and I would like to offer 20 thoughts about teachers and teaching that speak to American teachers at their very best.

Every one of these thoughts we experienced in the schools we visited during our journey across America.

What Is A Teacher?

I’m a teacher. A teacher is someone who leads. There is no magic here. I do not walk on water. I do not part the sea. I just love children. Marva Collins

Teachers believe they have a gift for giving; it drives them with the same irrepressible drive that drives others to create a work of art or a market or a building. A. Bartlett Giamatti  

We become teachers for reasons of the heart. Parker Palmer

In teaching you cannot see the fruit of a day’s work. It is invisible and remains so, maybe for twenty years.  Jacques Barzun

A teacher has two jobs; fill young minds with knowledge, yes, but more important, give those minds a compass so that that knowledge doesn’t go to wste.  Principal Jacobs to Glenn Holland

The great teacher is not the man who supplies the most facts, but the one in whose presence we become different people.  Ralph Waldo Emerson

What Do Teachers Do?

What all good teachers have in common, however, is that they set high standards for their students and do not settle for anything less.  Marva Collins

It is the supreme art of the teacher to awaken joy in creative expression and knowledge. Albert Einstein

The dream begins with a teacher who believes in you, who tugs and pushes and leads you to the next plateau, sometimes poking you with a sharp stick called truth. Dan Rather

Educators best serve students by helping them be more self-reflective. The only way any of us can improve, as Coach Graham taught me, is if we develop a real ability to assess ourselves. If we can’t accurately do that, how can we tell if
we’re getting better or worse? Randy Pausch

I teach you truths. My truths. Yeah, and it is kinda scary, dealing with the truth. Scary, and dangerous… Mark Thackeray

The art of teaching is the art of assisting discovery. Mark van Doren

I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has had to overcome
while trying to succeed.  Booker T. Washington

Why Do Teachers Do What They Do?

The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it
come in.   Morrie Schwartz

The essential condition of everything you do must be choice, love and passion. George Parks

Playing music is supposed to be fun. It’s about heart, it’s about feelings, moving people, and something beautiful, and it’s not about notes on a page. I can teach you notes on a page, I can’t teach you that other stuff.   Glenn Holland

…only in their dreams can men be truly free. ‘Twas always thus, and always thus will be. John Keating

It’s not enough to have lived. We should be determined to live for something. May I suggest that it be creating joy for others, sharing what we have for the betterment of person kind, bringing hope to the lost and love to the lonely. Leo Buscaglia

When Does it End?

The education of a man is never completed until he dies. Robert E. Lee

One of the reasons people stop learning is that they become less and less willing to risk failure. John W. Gardner

To all the teachers we met during our Face of America Journey and to their counterparts all over the country we say thank you. You matter.  You make a difference.  You are the link between the dreams of our forefathers and the fulfillment of those dreams by our children and our grandchildren. We admire your dedication. We celebrate your service. We thank you for helping students find the best edition of themselves.

Please provide feedback to:
tony.mussari@gmail.com

Conscious of Our Treasures: Gettysburg 2012

Written by Tony Mussari
Photographs, Kitch Loftus-Mussari
Copyright 2012
Mussari-Loftus Associates
The Face of America Project
www.faceofamericawps.com

We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures. Thornton Wilder

Opportunity

If freedom is the heart of America, opportunity is the central nervous system of our country. Wherever we traveled during our Face of America journey we were reminded of the precious national asset and value called opportunity.

Americans believe that everyone should have a fair chance to achieve their full potential. We celebrate this value in a number of ways. We have an Opportunity Index, an Opportunity Agenda, and a Journal of Opportunity.

At the College of the Ozarks in Point Lookout, Missouri, one of the main streets on the campus is named Opportunity Avenue. In Mantua, Ohio, above the main entrance to a school built in 1929, one finds the word Opportunity carefully engraved in elegant letters. In the Spokane Valley, the Opportunity Elementary School is described as a place where children receive “the support they need to achieve and succeed.”

On Mars, we have had an Opportunity Rover since 2004.

America on its best day is a land of opportunity for everyone.

On The Road

During the past two months, Kitch and I have been blessed with several wonderful opportunities. Our Face of America Journey has taken us to Maryland, Virginia, Southeastern Pennsylvania, and New Jersey.

We honored speaking engagements at the Community College of Baltimore, Marywood University, Wilkes University and North Plainfield High School in New Jersey. Our presentations focused on documentary filmmaking, ethics and corporate responsibility, experiential learning and our Gettysburg Project.

Each topic gave us an opportunity to learn something about America at its best, create something to illustrate the actions, behaviors and beliefs of Americans doing their best and interact with students and teachers who want to become the best edition of themselves.

Gettysburg’s Holy Ground

During our Face of America journey, we have visited the Gettysburg National Military Park seven times. Two years ago we wrote a Face of America Commentary about our experience there. It began with these words:

I saw the Face of America today in a place that will always be forever young, forever sacred and forever a bridge from America’s past to America’s future.

It ended with this thought:

What I experienced here in this place of honor on a beautiful April afternoon, I will carry with me for all the Aprils that will follow, because once you visit Gettysburg you never go home the same.

Two months later, Kitch and I took our granddaughter to Gettysburg to introduce her to Abraham Lincoln, and to teach her something about compassion. During that visit we met Barbara Platt and we became fast friends.

Barbara is the author of This is Holy Ground, one of the classic books about the battlefield. For the next 18 months Barbara shared her knowledge and insight with us. She graciously agreed to do two interviews with us, and she became a compassionate and caring advisor to Kitch during her battle with cancer. In addition to writing, volunteering and being one of the most welcoming ambassadors for this sacred place, Barbara waged an heroic battle with cancer for seven years.

In November 2011, she talked at length about her struggle in a poignant interview. Three months later, the day I learned of her death, I wrote a eulogy to Barbara. It began with these words:

America lost one of its best this week.

Her name will not appear in the headlines of any newspaper. It will not be number one in a Google search of famous people. There will be no testimonials on the national news, and very few people will know of her passing.

That’s exactly the way she would want it; no fuss, no fanfare, no fame, no public display of emotion.

The commentary ended with these words:

Her life gave truth to her words, “If you have love, you have a lot going for you.”
The words of one of her heroes Abraham Lincoln apply to Barbara’s courage, determination and perseverance, “Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing.”

Thank you, Bobbie for showing us the way. You will be remembered with admiration, and you will be missed in all the ways that matter. May God have mercy on your soul.

The Gettysburg Project

Less than a week after this article was published in our Face of America blog, I proposed the idea for a Gettysburg project to Dr. Marilyn Birnbaum and Tom Mazur during a dinner meeting in North Plainfield, New Jersey. They liked the idea.

For the past three months, Tom and I have spent every available moment working to make this dream become a reality. It did not come easily. There were a number of bumps in the road. Nevertheless, we kept moving forward, and we found solutions.

The centerpiece of the Gettysburg project is a visit to the battlefield with 10 students and 8 adults. Thanks to wonderful cooperation from representatives of the National Park Service at Gettysburg and the Gettysburg Foundation, we will produce a documentary about this trip. It will be the foundation for a number of activities in the North Plainfield School District during the 150th anniversary of the battle.

Virtually everyone we asked for help went out of their way to do more than we expected. We are indebted to Mr. Jerard Stephenson, the principal of the high school, and the members of the North Plainfield PTO, whose generosity and belief in our work made this trip possible.
The students are enthusiastic. The officials in Gettysburg have created a welcoming environment. The adults are making wonderful sacrifices to guarantee the integrity of this unique experiential learning opportunity. We have a number of surprises planned for the students, and we intend to make the most of our visit to Gettysburg.

Expectations

Craig Lewis, one of the students who will visit Gettysburg, put the trip and the experience in perspective with these words: “I hope to learn about the battle and grow as a person from the experience.”

Jalynn Rivera wants to learn the causes and the consequences of the battle.

Tom De Meola hopes to get a better understanding of what the soldiers felt during the battle.

Adriana Miranda would like to know why there were so many casualties at Gettysburg.

Chelsea Blue believes this will be an amazing and life changing opportunity.

Max Torres hopes to learn life lessons in Gettysburg.

David Havrilla sees this as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity

An adaptation of the words of Thornton Wilder accurately describes what all of the members of our Gettysburg team are feeling. We are energized by the enthusiasm of the moment, and we are conscious of this great opportunity and treasure.

Please provide feedback to:
tony.mussari@gmail.com

Teaching the Greatness of America as an Experience, Part 1

Written by Tony Mussari
Copyright 2012
Mussari-Loftus Associates
The Face of America Project
www.faceofamericawps.com

Nine-tenths of education is encouragement.Anatole France

A Priceless Opportunity

Life is a series of opportunities. Sometimes we see them, and we act accordingly. Unfortunately, many times they go unnoticed, and we miss the moment.

On April 3, Kitch and I entered the Marts Center on the Wilkes University campus to make the most of an opportunity. This Face of America journey began in September 2011 when we received this note:

We read the piece about your film … and would love it if you could come to our campus and speak about your important work with our education students sometime during the spring semester… We believe that area artists and educational leaders in all fields can help us prepare our students to be the best teachers they can be; not all learning happens in the classroom, as you are well aware.

Thank you very much.
Judy and Bob Gardner

Judy and Bob Gardner are exemplary Faces of America on its best day. They are teachers with a purpose. They want their students to hear other voices in their classroom and have real world experiences outside the walls of ivy. Their expertise is experiential learning, and their gift to Wilkes University and the students they teach is the Gardner Educational Forum Series.

Our assignment was to help their students understand how documentary film can be used to take students to places where they can learn important life lessons.

The Challenge

How do you explain 47 years of work in 90 minutes? How do you make it interesting and meaningful to students who live in the digital suburbs of Facebook and Twitter? It took a lot of thought and two weeks of intense preparation to get it right. Ultimately, I followed the advice of my mother as recorded in an inspirational thought typed in bold black letters at the bottom of one of Judy Gardner’s notes:

BE YOURSELF!

Once I reached this conclusion, I felt a kind of freedom that is hard to explain, but wonderful to experience.

Kitch did not want the stress that comes with a presentation of this magnitude, so I did the heavy lifting.

My strategy was simple. I would do what I did in my classroom. Thinking of it as just another class in a much different forum, freed me from the restraints that fear and worry impose on speakers. I would use examples from our 2005 Miracle at Lake Placid Project and three others: What is America? (2001-2011), The Face of America (2010) and Gettysburg (2012).

In my mind’s eye, Coach Herb Brooks and his team of lunch pail college kids is a classic example of American greatness, and our Miracle Project was a textbook case of experiential learning. It enabled 20 seniors to learn about the legendary coach, his philosophy, his team and their unprecedented victory over the Russians in the 1980 Winter Olympics.

Three trips to Lake Placid, New York, during the 25th anniversary of the Miracle on Ice provided students with an opportunity to connect with the place and the people who made the victory over the best hockey team on the planet happen. We attended the relighting of the Olympic Flame, the Mirror Lake party and the rededication of the1980 rink. From our classroom, students conducted interviews via conference calls with Patti Brooks, her children Kelly and Danny, Ross Bernstein, author of Remembering Herbie, and Wayne Coffee, author of The Boys of Winter.

We assembled a team of consultants including Julie Marvel, a University of Minnesota graduate and an accomplished athlete and public relations professional, songwriter Mike Lewis, graphic designers D.J. Pizzani and Colleen Connelly, and voiceover specialist Greg O’Brien. Their unique contributions added a special dimension to this experience.

The final episode in our What is America? Series, Shanksville, PA: A Place of Transformation, gave a voice to 11 cheerleaders from North Plainfield, New Jersey, who visited the Peoples’ Memorial to the Heroes of Flight 93 in 2010 and 2011 with us. Each one of these students had a story to tell about life and learning outside the classroom. These students and their coach, Skip Pulcrano, opened the door to the North Plainfield School District for us.

The Face of America project is the link to the Gettysburg National Military Park and two people who I believed were essential to the lecture: 2d Lt. Emily Perez and Barbara Platt. Both Barbara and Emily are inspirational women of dignity, class, courage and service. They speak to the greatness of America in quiet acts of kindness and putting the greater good before their personal interests. Emily Perez is the inspiration for our Face of America project. Barbara is the inspiration for our Gettysburg project.

My close and life-changing encounter with the movie To Sir With Love in 1967 provided an ideal way to begin the presentation. Sidney Poitier’s powerful portrayal of interim teacher Mark Thackeray is a textbook example of experiential learning. His decision to treat the students in his English class like adults and teach them survival skills by taking them out of the classroom provided the context I needed to frame my Gardner lecture.

Preparation

While designing my PowerPoint presentation, I received help from several members of our 2005 Miracle team: Rob Anderson, Chris Boos, Ryan Doyle, Matt Harm, Stephanie Youngs, Karlina Zikor and D.J.Pizzani.

D.J. was not a member of the class. He was doing an internship in New Jersey, but he volunteered to help us. He designed the collage for the project, and all of the cover designs for our year-end events. This is an excerpt from his evaluation of the experience:

“It was incredibly beneficial to learn from Herb Brooks and his 1980 Olympic Team. Something you taught me, Doc, and came out of your course and this project is: If it wasn’t difficult, it wouldn’t be worth doing.”

Ryan Doyle offered this discovery:

“I learned that life is about making good stories, sometimes even out of the worst situations. Be honest, be humble, work hard and above all don’t be afraid of the world, make an adventure out of it.”

Stephanie Youngs was very specific about her take away memory: “One thing I learned for sure is that nothing comes your way without any work involved!”

The lesson Christopher Boos learned from the Miracle team was personal and powerful:

“The triumph was a result of believing they could succeed, and then making it happen. Keeping that message in mind has given me the strength and courage to face numerous, obstacles…”

Rob Anderson learned three things during the Miracle Project: “The course taught me to keep focused, hard work pays off, never feel defeated.”

Matt Harm liked the Mark Thackeray tone of the course: “We were treated as students, but we were also treated as professionals.”

When it was finished, the PowerPoint presentation had 100 slides with 10 collages, 14 graphics and 144 pictures. Cartier Scott, an affable Wilkes University student, volunteered to help set up the computer for the presentation. He and Dr. Bob Gardner made sure everything worked perfectly.

A last minute decision to wear the USA Olympic jersey the students in my 2005 class gave me as a gift helped to reinforce the power of creative dreaming. Bob Kalinowski noted that moment in a comment he wrote after the presentation. “Right from the beginning, I was captivated and beamed with pride when you put on the USA jersey.”

Feedback

The Miracle at Lake Placid resonated with Virginia and John Zikor. They lived it as parents. Their daughter, Karlina, lived it as a student in the class. This is what Karlina wrote about her experience:

Learning about Herb Brooks and the 1980 Olympic Team made me realize that through hard work, dedication and team work anything is possible. The values that I learned from that team, project and class will continue to stay with me. I hope one day into the future, to eventually pass on what I learned from that class to my children.

The references to the movie To Sir With Love worked for Gerry O’Donnell. “To Sir With Love was in my mind one of the best movies ever,” he wrote, “both from the acting standpoint but more importantly from the life lessons it taught… if you reached only 25% of the teachers in the room it will make this valley a better place!”

Sean McGrath liked the naturalization scenes included in the documentary Shanksville, Pa: A Place of Transformation. “I particularly thought about those people getting their citizenship. They beamed with glory – unlike the majority of Americans who were fortunate to be born American and miss the entire point!”

Skip Pulcrano, the coach of the cheerleading squad at North Plainfield High School, drove from New Jersey, to attend the lecture. He had several things to say about the presentation:

It was my pleasure to be there for such a great presentation. This was the first time I could actually just sit there and absorb and enjoy the moment.

I sincerely hope that all those in attendance, especially the young student teachers, adopt your words of truth and dignity, honestly spoken, and implement them into actions.

I think your presentation should be delivered to the entire faculty of the North Plainfield School District. We are always having teacher workshop days and incorporating your presentation would be a tremendous burst of motivation.

Thanks again for everything you and Kitch have done for our students and for the gift of such a wonderful presentation yesterday. You have our everlasting gratitude.

Joanne Chabalko, is the mother of a West Point graduate and the woman who introduced us to Emily Perez. She offered kind words about the presentation:

“When you showed Emily, I wanted to cry. Your work is more important than ever. I pray that you continue to be blessed with good health so you can continue your passion.”

Our friend, Connie Wynn, attended the lecture with her husband Joe. They arrived early and they stayed late. Connie gave Kitch a beautiful bouquet of roses to celebrate her victory over breast cancer, and Joe snapped a number of digital pictures of the event. Connie’s words and Joe’s pictures lifted our spirits. Their comments validated all of the time and energy we invested in the event.

“You certainly blessed all of us yesterday with your beautiful presentation. You gave your presentation with love and compassion and it’s so hard to find people who are compassionate about their work. This shows in each and every documentary that you both do. Don’t ever stop teaching.”

Several times during the presentation, my eyes and my heart connected with four former students who were in the room: Laura Haden, Joe Haberski, Bob Kalinowski and Shivaun O’Donnell.

During the Q&A, an education major from Wilkes told everyone in the room about her life as an Upward Bound student. She was quick to point out why she could relate to everything in the presentation. For an old teacher like me, it doesn’t get any better than that.

We went to Wilkes University on a beautiful Tuesday afternoon in April to deliver a lecture about experimental learning. We left the university with a wonderful portrait of America at its best.

It is a rich painting of young, aspiring teachers who were learning. It is a statement about experienced, compassionate and caring teachers like Judy and Bob Gardner who were teaching by example. It contains snapshots of a reunion with formers students like Laura, Bob, Shivaun and Joe, old friends like Connie, Joe, Virginia, John, Joanne and Gerry,heart relatives Anthony and Sean and new friends named Cartier, Jennifer, Kristen and Skip. They were there to encouraging an old teacher in a new classroom to do his best. Everyone was making the most of a priceless opportunity.

In room 214 on the second floor of the Marts Center, Kitch and I experienced the greatness of America. It is a moment from our Face of America journey that we will never forget.

Jason Genovese, one of our former students and now a college professor is right:

“Students become much more motivated and interested when they get invested in field-based projects…and that results in real learning.”

Mark Thackeray was right. Experiential learning at its best is teaching students how to be adults, and that includes teaching them courtesy, manners, standards and survival skills. It is encouraging them to reach up for the best edition of themselves.

Herb Brooks was right, “great moments are born from great opportunities.” That’s what we had on April 3, at Wilkes University.

Thank You, Judith,

Thank You, Bob,

Thank You, Friends, Former Students and Relatives,

Thank You, Wilkes University,

Thank You, America.

Please provide feedback to:
tony.mussari@gmail.com

Growing Old in America

Written by Tony Mussari
Copyright 2012
Mussari-Loftus Associates
The Face of America Project
www.faceofamericawps.com
tony.mussari@gmail.com

You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear; as young as your hope, as old as your despair. Douglas MacArthur.

Another Milestone

In 1942, the cost of a new home was $3,775.00. The average income in the United States was $1,885.00. You could purchase a new car for $920.00, rent a house for $35.00 a month, go to Harvard for $420.00 a year, see a movie for 30 cents, buy a gallon of gasoline for 15 cents and send a letter for 3 cents.

At my grandmother’s neighborhood grocery store bacon was 45 cents a pound, milk was 60 cents a gallon, fresh baked bread was 9 cents a loaf, and ground coffee was 55 cents a pound.

No, I am not a savant.  All of these interesting facts are recorded in the birthday card I received from my godchild and niece, Theresa. The card is titled “1942 Remember When…A Nostalgic Look Back In Time” Yes, the card and several others I was fortunate to receive reminded me that I am right in the middle of what gerontologists call the early part of old age.

What is it like to be 70? Not much different than being 60, and much better than 65 when I had open heart surgery. To be very honest, I feel more liberated than ever before. There are more endings than beginnings, but there are an equal number of opportunities to be useful and make a difference.
I can see the emptiness of being busy and the shallowness of the frenetic lifestyle that substitutes activity for thoughtfulness and noise for understanding.

At 70, you spend more time alone with your thoughts and less time seeking fulfillment in crowds. At 70, life for me is about gratitude, reflection, remembering and cherishing private moments with grandchildren, friends, relatives and a select group of former students and their parents.

This is the Indian summer of life, and, for Kitch and me, it is one of the best stages of life. It is a time of thinking, planning, sharing and doing things we have always wanted to do, but never had the time to do.

That’s why we started our Face of America project.  That’s why we are spending so much time in North Plainfield, New Jersey.  That’s why we enjoy reading and writing, and that’s why we go into our garden for peace and quiet.

Life Lessons

What have I learned during my three score and ten years on this planet? I think I can summarize the most important lessons I’ve learned in 25 aphorisms:

1. Family matters;
2. Friends count;
3. There is no sell by date for parenting;
4. Life is bumpy;
5. Failure is the mother of opportunity;
6. Fame is fleeting;
7. Nature is the most beautiful artist;
8. Giving is better than receiving;
9. Patience is more than a virtue. It is the key to success;
10. Experience is the best teacher;
11. Listening is the key to understanding;
12. Ego is always the enemy;
13. You never escape your childhood;
14. Freedom isn’t free;
15. Most shortcuts lead to dead end streets;
16. There is some money that ain’t worth making;
17. Hope is stronger than death;
18. Work without purpose is meaningless;
19. Forgiveness is liberating;
20. Good health is great wealth;
21. Everyone needs encouragement;
22. No one is a superman or a superwoman;
23. Success has many different meanings;
24. Gratitude makes everything worthwhile;
25. A kind, loving and tolerant heart always saves the day.

From the Mouth of Babes

During their birthday visit, I asked my grandchildren what it means to be old. Their answers were priceless.

For Julia who is 9 and P.J. who is 6, being old is a time when:

You might forget things when you go on a trip;

You might leave things in a place where you can’t find them;

You walk slower than other people;

It might take you longer to do things;

You don’t have to work as much;

You might not get out as much;

You sleep more than other people;

You’ve been around longer than other people so you are a better story teller;

You own an older home;

You have older things like nice comfortable beds;

You have older friends;

You might have a garden to keep you busy;

You have an older oven to bake things;

You might not know what people are saying because you have bad hearing.

Old in America

What do you do if you are old in America?

What are your choices?

Who wants to hear your opinions?

Who speaks for your interests?

Who is there to help you when things are bad or to celebrate with you when things are good?

Who makes you feel that you are not alone…that you are relevant and needed?

Who asks for your advice, and heeds it?

These are questions older Americans ask themselves all the time.

In the 1980s, an energetic, intelligent, thoughtful and the youngest president in the history of Yale University, A. Bartlett Giamatti, addressed several of these questions with these words:

“I want a Yale University that engages retired faculty so that their dignity and expertise are not lost.”

Motivational speaker Les Brown made the point that you are never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream.

Henry Ford said it another way:
“If you take all of the experience and judgment of men over 50 out of this world … there wouldn’t be enough left to run it.”

In my opinion, Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. said it the best way:

“To be 70 years young is sometimes more cheerful and hopeful than to be 40 years old.”

With that in mind, Kitch and I look forward.  We know where we have been. We know what we have learned. We are blessed with the gift of life, the richness of our memories, and the connections we have with people of good will like our friends, neighbors, relatives, former students and their parents who stay in touch and inspire us look at every day as an opportunity to do our best.

Amy Grant is right:

Oh how the years go by
Oh how the love brings tears to my eyes
All through the changes the soul never dies
We fight, we laugh, we cry
As the years go by

And if we lose our way
Any night or day
Well we’ll always be
Where we should be
I’m there for you
And I know you’re there for me

Amy Grant’s words speak to America on its best day. Whether young or old, people expect respect and a feeling that they matter and they are valued.

Please provide feedback to:
tony.mussari@gmail.com

Heroes without Headlines: Part 4

Written By Tony Mussari
Copyright 2012
Mussari-Loftus Associates
The Face of America Project
www.faceofamericawps.com
tony.mussari@gmail.com

Bring your best self to work. Dr. Ann Henry

Twelve Hours at Marywood

Since its founding as a Catholic liberal arts college in 1915, Marywood University has been a center of excellence in Northeastern Pennsylvania

Early in the morning of the third Monday in March, this beautiful 140 acre campus opened its welcoming arms to a community of students, faculty, administrators and guests who came to Marywood to learn about ethical business practices in the digital age.

In one respect, it was an opportunity for people of good will to benefit from the experiences of experts in the field of business ethics and corporate responsibility. In another respect, it was a celebration of the 10th Annual Forum and Conference on Ethical Leadership and Corporate Social Responsibility.

At Marywood University, doing the right thing for the right reasons is central to everything students learn. Thanks to the leadership and vision of Dr. Gale Jaeger, the conference on ethics and social responsibility sends a clear and compelling message, doing the right thing for the right reason is a win/win situation for everyone.

Magic Moments

These are but a few of the magic moments from the conference.

Dr. Sharon McCrone, Executive Director of EOTC, a mission-driven, strength-based, family-focused human development agency, emphasized the need to help employees understand that they are responsible for their actions and behavior.

Sharon is a leader and an inspiration to everyone who knows her. She is committed to helping people find the best edition of themselves.

Louis Shapiro, Executive Vice President of the architectural firm Burkavage Design Associates, posed the question: “How do you practice ethical behavior if it is not defined?”

He defined it with these words. “It’s common sense, decency followed by the Golden Rule.”  Then, he added this caveat: “Greed does funny things to people.” 

Lou Shapiro speaks with conviction and experience about the importance of ethical business practices. The attendees appreciated his candor, his insight and his wisdom.

Gregory Hunt, Founding Dean of the School of Architecture at Marywood University, made a telling point with these statistics.

In the United States alone, buildings account for:

39 percent of total energy use;
12 percent of total water consumption;
68 percent of total electricity consumption;
38 percent of total carbon dioxide emissions.

Under Dean Hunt’s leadership, the home of the School of Architecture at Marywood is a retrofitted physical education building.  Great care was taken to salvage and reuse everything and anything found in the building including the gym floor.

The building is a classic example of creativity, innovation, preservation, ethical leadership and social responsibility. “We have a responsibility,” he told the audience, “to protect the diminishing resources of the planet.” 

Dean Hunt and his associates at Marywood do as they say. They walk the walk of ethical leadership and corporate responsibility.

Gregg Loboda is Vice President of Information Systems at Prudential Retirement. His presentation was titled Customer Privacy Issues.  He emphasized the need to protect the confidentiality of information and assets.

Gregg captured the attention of everyone in the room when he explained how vulnerable people are to identity theft. Tailoring his message to the students in the room, he asked, how many had recorded their birth date on the social networking site Facebook. After the response, he explained how that made them vulnerable to identity theft.

He advised them to remove the birth date from their Facebook profile.

Kitch and I followed Gregg. We presented ten of the stories we recorded during our Face of America journey. Each story addressed an issue of ethics, social responsibility and leadership. Our view reflected what is happening at the ground level.

Jamie Baker summarized our contribution to the conference with words he shared with us during his interview in Wallace, Idaho: “Everyday folks all over this land are its foundation and their ethics, dedication, and good will is what has made this the greatest country in the world.”

Quotes for the Day

Marisa Burke, news anchor at WNEP TV, our local ABC affiliate, began the panel discussion during the evening session with a reference to Greg Smith.  According to Marisa, the former Goldman Sachs executive set the tone for the conference when he put loyalty to values above loyalty to company.

Dr. Ann Henry the Vice President of Cisco Capital Global Operations for Cisco Systems Capital, responded to Marisa’s comment with a memorable and powerful thought:

Employees have an obligation to bring their best self to work.

Earlier in the day while addressing her topic Technology and Ethical Leadership at Work, Dr. Henry proudly displayed a slide with these words:

Our Focus for GOVERNANCE

Promote responsible business practices with every employee at every level of our business.

Robert Tyndall is the Chief Ethics Officer and Senior Vice President of Risk Management Prudential. Calling upon his experiences, he was quick to point out the importance of trust in a business relationship. “If you do not have trust in us,” he said, “we are out of business.”
He continued with eight words that made a lot of sense. “Reading the manual does not make you ethical.”

Craig Best is the President and CEO of Penn Security Bank and Trust Company. He believes that employee decisions are rooted in the values they bring with them to the work place. At Penn Security Bank, protecting the customer’s assets is central to everything the bank does. He is not apologetic about holding employees accountable for the decisions they make.

Chris DiMattio is the Senior Vice President and Manager of First National Community Bank Wealth Management. He talked about customer needs and revenue needs. He is an outspoken devotee of longevity at a firm.  It is a good thing, he noted, but employees must always remember to put the client’s needs ahead of themselves and the firm. He followed this with a statement that will long be remembered by everyone in the room: “If the commission is too high, too good, it’s probably not good for your client.”

Thoughts about the Day

On Monday, March 19, Kitch and I spent 11 hours on the campus of Marywood University.  It was a day of community, a day of learning, a day of thinking and day of good fellowship.

We missed one presentation, and we are sorry we did.  Susan Unvarsky, Vice President of Operations for Prudential Retirement, told her audience in the opening session why transparency is ethical business. We arrived at about the time Susan was finishing her remarks.

Everyone we met during the day was helpful, pleasant and welcoming. The sessions were interesting and informative. We shared priceless moments with Sister Mariam Pfeifer, a dear friend and an inspiration to everyone she taught. In the cafeteria, we met two employees Laura and Richard. They went out of their way to help us. In the elevator, we met a chef who was very accommodating.  

We had a mini-reunion with two of our former students, Amy Fedele and Stephanie Seese. Amy is a member of the Marywood staff. Stephanie is a marketing executive in scranton. Making eye contact with Amy and Stephanie during our presentation was one of the best moments of the day.

After our presentation we made a new friend, Dr. U. Rex Dumdum. He was most affirming, and he invited us to speak in one of his classes.  

At dinner, we were fortunate to be seated at what we affectionately called the best table in the room.  At table 4, we laughed together, and we engaged one another in several different conversations. We left the table with good memories of time well spent with nice people.

After the conference, we had uplifting conversations with Dr. Ann Henry, Craig Best, Dr. Art Comstock, and several students who asked thoughtful questions and offered wonderful feedback about the events of the day. Kitch and Sharon McCrone reminisced about their student days at Marywood in the 1970s. Marisa Burke and Kitch shared stories about their experiences in broadcasting.

Very few of the people we met at Marywood University will ever get a headline on page one of the local newspaper. Their faces will never appear on the cover of Time Magazine. They will not produce videos that go viral, nor will they be invited to tell their stories on the Today Show.

The people we met at Marywood are not interested in fame. They have meaning and purpose in their life because they are effectively and quietly doing things to improve the quality of life for others.  They are examples of ethical leadership and responsibility because of the things they will not do to serve their own self interest as well as the things they will do to make America a better place for all of us.

The people we met at Marywood are heroes in the way the father of our country, George Washington described heroes. They keep alive that little spark of celestial fire called conscience.

Thank You, Dr. Gale Jaeger
Thank You, Marywood University

Please provide feedback to:
Tony.mussari@gmail.com

Heroes without Headlines, Part 3

Written By Tony Mussari
Copyright 20112
Mussari-Loftus Associates
The Face of America Project
www.faceofamericawps.com

Photography is a way of telling, of touching, of loving. What you have caught on film is captured forever… It remembers little things long after you have forgotten everything.  Aaron Siskind

Godlove’s Work

The Barnes & Noble bookstore in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania, is one of a handful of college bookstores serving two small liberal arts colleges.  It is a place where shoppers of all ages can setup their laptops, purchase a cup of coffee, read a book or rent a college textbook in an inviting and welcoming environment.

This building was the place where F.M. Kirby maintained an office from which he directed a retail empire that stretched across the country and the Atlantic Ocean.  It is the same space where F.W. Woolworth had a Five and Dime Store that was once the largest retail chain in America. Unable to compete with the megastores and shopping malls built in the 1980’s, the Woolworth chain disintegrated and this historic building on South Main Street began to crumble and decay.

After ten years of dreaming and planning and a cooperative effort by civic, educational and political leaders, the Barnes & Noble Bookstore for King’s College and Wilkes University became a reality in 2008. To our delight, one of our former students, John Augustine, was one of the people who helped make the dream become a reality.

On this unseasonable warm January evening, the bookstore became a gallery for a display of photographs taken by students, teachers and administrators who participate in the Global Education program offered by Wilkes University. It was a joyful event, a thought-provoking event, a memorable event. The maestro conducting this magical orchestration of images and colors was Godlove Fonjweng.

Godlove is director of Global Education at Wilkes University. Born and raised in Cameroon, he received his undergraduate degree at Swarthmore and his Ph.D. at the University of Pennsylvania. He is the perfect person for the job. Affable, creative, industrious, kind, knowledgeable, sociable, thoughtful and very competent, he loves what he does, and it shows. He loves his adopted country and it shows.

I met Godlove at the Marquis Art and Frame Shop in December and we became fast friends.

Captured Forever

On this evening more than 50 photographs were on display. An enthusiastic crowd of students, teachers, community leaders and invited guests came to celebrate the moment. Godlove was a gracious host who made everyone feel welcome, and he attended to every little detail to maximize the experience for everyone in the room.

The photographs were arranged in a way that enabled visitors to stop, look and think about what they were seeing. The images on display recorded scenes of students and teachers in faraway places seeing, talking, connecting and changing in ways they never expected. They gave witness to the many and rich benefits of international travel and study abroad.

Lisa Bova’s picture of three orphaned babies sitting is a discarded cardboard box touched my heart in a very special way. It captured the beauty of these children, their vulnerability, and their yearning to belong. As I focused my camera, their hopeful eyes drew me in, and for a moment, I forgot where I was and what I was doing. I wanted to reach out and give them comfort. I wanted them to have a home with people who would care for them and their needs. I was humbled by their innocence. I wondered why life is so unfair for some and so rich for others.

Virtually the same feelings overpowered me again when I came upon Karenbeth Bohen’s picture of an outdoor cooking area. The picture was taken in Northwest Tanzania in a rural village near a town called Karagwe.  

According to Karenbeth, an associate professor of Pharmacy Practice, the scene depicts a typical meal of boiled and then smashed green banana cooked over a wood fire. To get the water used in the process, it is not uncommon for people to walk 1-2 kilometers. Because water is so scarce in this part of the world, an accepted practice is to collect rain water as it drains off corrugated metal roofs.

This point was reinforced with a haunting image in a picture taken in Uganda.

Godlove snapped the shot of a child doing what children do in this village.

This is how Godlove described the shot:

“In Uganda, boys start running important family errands at a very early age.”

Pamela Pogash took her picture in a village in Kaya, Burkino Faso in 2011 during a medical mission trip.  This is what she wrote about the picture and the experience:

I learned first hand that the things we take for granted food, water, clothing and medical care should be cherished. Meeting the people, especially the children, and having the time to spend time with them showed me that a hug, a smile, or a wave serve as a universal language. These people have very little in the way of material things, but they have a lot of love and happiness in their hearts. I am now a better person for having this unforgettable experience.

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share this photo. It means the world to me.

Telling, Touching, Loving

These are but four images from the photo exhibition. There were many others. Everyone told a story and everyone had a purpose. I enjoyed seeing the picture of Professor Karenbeth Bohan eating a recently picked juicy mango.  I admired the picture taken by Professsor Sharon Cosgrove of a 12th century Romanesque abbey located in the French village of St. Amand de Coly. The light streaming through the window into the fortified church created a magnificent scene.  

I wish I could describe every picture in detail here, but I can’t.

The best I can do is record what the photo exhibit did for Kitch and me. It provided an opportunity to see beyond the obvious. It took us to places that we seldom think about, and it helped us better understand the many blessings we have in America, and the responsibilities that come with those blessings. 

For me, Dr. Godlove Fonjweng, his colleagues and the students we met are heroes without headlines. They took the risk to get out of their comfort zone. They overcame their fears and all the uncertainties that discourage people from participating in experiences like this.  They brought good will, understanding and valuable services to people who need help. They recorded beautiful and powerful images that will break down walls of division and misunderstanding.  They gained invaluable insights that will broaden their perspective and humanize their work.

Ansel Adams once said, “A photograph is usually looked at – seldom looked into.”

Godlove Fonjweng takes students and teachers to places where they snap pictures that people want to look into. What he, his students and their teachers do is a classic example of America at its best.

Please provide feedback to:
tony.mussari@gmail.com

Defining Love on a Day of Love

By Tony Mussari
Copyright 2012
Mussari-Loftus Associates
The Face of America Project
www.faceofamericawps.com
tony.mussari@gmail.com

“The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live.” Leo Buscaglia

Finding Love

Waiting for the Valentine’s Day sunrise of 2012, I have been thinking about love. I know we all need it.  Some of us were fortunate enough to have found it in our homes and classrooms during the early days of our journey.

I never studied love.  I learned what I know about love by watching my parents love each other and their children. It was love deeply rooted in discipline, loyalty and responsibility.

At one point in my life I was a great admirer of “Dr. Love,” Leo Buscaglia.  His poetic words helped me at a time when love was in short supply, or at least the road rashes of life made me think that way.

Today as I approach the Indian Summer of my life, I have a much better appreciation and understanding of the healing power of love.

If truth be told, life has been the greatest teacher in that regard, and last year I earned my Ph.D. in love.

Watching, helping and caring for Kitch while she battled cancer gave me more opportunities than any man deserves to think about the essence of love.

Permit me to share what I learned with words that are both old and new, words that best illuminate that mystical, and often elusive, virtue that can heal the empty places in our life.

Defining Love

Love is all we have; the only way that each can help the other. Euripides

Love is the beauty of the soul.  Saint Augustine

Fortune and love favor the brave. Ovid

Love conquers all. Virgil

Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.  Marcus Aurelius

Who so loves believes the impossible. Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Woe to the man whose heart has not learned while young to hope, to love – and to put its trust in life. Joseph Conrad

The art of love is largely the art of persistence.   Albert Ellis

Where there is love there is life.   Mahatma Gandhi

You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love. Henry Drummond

Living a life of Love

And what, I ask myself, is the spirit of love?

The obvious answer speaks to caring, sharing, helping, giving, enhancing, affirming and living for someone other than yourself.  Yet there is another nuance of love that seldom gets much attention.  It’s the beauty and power of a listening heart.

Sister Joan Chittister’s poem "A Listening Heart" says all one needs to know about that life sustaining aspect of love.

There is a magnet in a seeker’s heart
whose true north is God.
It bends toward the Voice of God
with the ear of the heart
and, like sunflowers in the sun,
turns all of life toward
the living of the Word.

This listening is pure of pride
and free of arrogance.
It seeks wisdom—
everywhere, at all times—
and knows wisdom by the way
it echoes
the call of the scriptures.

The compass of God implanted
in the seeker’s heart
stretches toward truth
and signals the way to justice.

A truly listening heart knows

that we lose the chance for truth
if we give another—any other—
either too much, or too little,
control over the conscience
that is meant to be ours alone.

And yet, at the same time
mutual obedience,
real listening,
holy listening
forever seeks the spiritual dialogue
holy wisdom demands.

This listening with the heart
to the insights of another
is not the obedience of children,
or soldiers,
or servants,
or minions.
It is the obedience given to a lover
because of love alone.

During Kitch’s battle with cancer we experienced what “Dr. Love” called  the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring from family, friends, physicians, nurses, and medical technicians. These acts of love turned our life around and taught us how to listen to the challenges we faced with our hearts.

From now until we reach the other side, we intend to transmit the light of love to others who travel the long dark gravel road called cancer.

May your Valentine’s Day be blessed with the love of a listening heart.

Tony & Kitch Mussari
Producers
The Face of America Project
Please provide feedback to
tony.mussari@gmail.com

(A listening heart was excerpted from the book The Monastery of the Heart by Joan Chittister, OSB. It was used with permission: benetvision.org)

Making Learning Contagious

written by Tony Mussari
Copyright 2012
Mussari-Loftus Associates
The Face of America Project
www.faceofamericawps.com
tony.mussari@gmail.com

“The essence of teaching is to make learning contagious, to have one idea spark another.” Marva Collins

West End in the Morning

This week, I was impressed, inspired and encouraged in ways I will never forget. The magical moments happened in room 9 at the West End Elementary School in North Plainfield, New Jersey.

I was there to record scenes for a Face of America documentary about mentoring. Once inside the building, I was drawn in by the welcoming way of the people I met and the magical touch of a teacher and the enthusiastic response of her students.

Megan Schutz is a gifted teacher who loves her job and the students in her care.  She is ably assisted by Christina Moscatello, a Special Education co-teacher, and Corie Williams a paraprofessional.

On this unseasonably warm February morning, I watched these women work their magic with students who were interested, engaged and enthusiastic about the work they were doing. In my opinion, it was a radiant painting of education at its best.

From the warm greetings as students entered the room, to the artful blending of technology with tried and true traditional teaching techniques, this classroom was alive with the sights and sounds of children learning, growing, thinking and enjoying school.

The day began with a heartfelt recitation of the Pledge of Allegiance to the American Flag. It was followed by a series of announcements that ended with a tone setting thought for the day:

“Alone we can do so little. Together we can do so much.”

After hearing the words of Helen Keller, the students took their seats, opened their math workbooks, and their teacher, Megan Schutz, got down on her knees to be at eye level with the fourth graders who responded to her questions and her encouraging suggestions.

One of the students got an enthusiastic “hi five” accompanied with the Merlin-like, affirming words, “Great Job.”

At the appointed time, the students lined up. The line leaders took their places, and then everyone walked to the music room for an experience that can only be described as “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!”

Music with Meaning

Type the words “Proud to be an American” in a Google Search and you will get more than 4,000,000 hits. I am sure all of these items are interesting and informative. None of them, however, will evoke the emotional reaction I experience watching Milan Lazistan, a substitute teacher, work with the 21 students who sat on the floor of his classroom.

Granted, the words of the song are powerful. They were written to elicit emotion.  When you plant them in the innocent and unpretentious minds of children like these and you ask them to sing along with a recording of Lee Greenwood’s voice playing in the background, you get more than mom, apple pie and the 4th of July. You get a rendition that is from the heart, and tailored to the experience of youngsters, many of whom have origins in places far away from Lady Liberty’s Light in New York Harbor.

I am not ashamed to say that tears filled my eyes while I recorded the chorus of beautiful faces and voices from America, Dominican Republic,  Ecuador, India, Kenya and Pakistan, singing these powerful words:

If tomorrow all the things were gone I’d worked for all my life,
And I had to start again with just my children and my wife,
I’d thank my lucky stars to be living here today,
‘Cause the flag still stands for freedom
And they can’t take that away.

I’m proud to be an American where at least I know I’m free,
And I won’t forget the men who died who gave that right to me,
And I gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today,
‘Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land God Bless the U.S.A.

If ever there was a picture of America on its best day, this is it. Genuine in every detail and beautiful in everything it implied. For me, it spoke to everything our founders hoped we would become, and everything our country represents to people at home and abroad who yearn for freedom and equality for everyone in the family of mankind.

Before I left the classroom, I asked Mr. Lazistan what he hoped music would do for these children. His answer was to the point and very instructive.

I hope it will teach them to enjoy music. I hope it will help them enjoy life.  I hope they will learn something from it so they can gather their own personal creativity and give it out to others.

Opening Minds

As I made my way back to room 9, I thought to myself, it can’t get any better than this. As is often the case with generalizations made in the wake of an emotional experience, I was wrong.

Shortly after the students settled into their seats, Megan Schutz started a discussion of American symbols. Just as she was finishing her introduction in which she made reference to an earlier class when the students defined what it means to be an American, I asked her if she would review that class for me.

She paused and replied with words that I never expected to hear. “May I do it with the help of the students?”

My answer was an enthusiastic, yes.

What followed was a brilliant mosaic of America drawn by children who spoke from their hearts, their experience and their love of country.

With hands extended ramrod straight above their heads and hands waving in every corner of the room, Chelsea spoke first. “America is people who live here.”

Parijot told her teacher, “America is people who promise loyalty to our country.”

Valarie spoke quietly but resolutely. “People come to America for freedom or a better life. It’s for opportunity, more jobs and more freedom.”

Emily said that America is about people who come from many different countries.

Muhammad defined America as a place where people are free.

Isaiah pictured America as a place where people join together for a single cause, freedom.

For Dave, America is a place where people show patriotism to our flag.

Sophia added, “It is a place where we do the pledge of allegiance.”

James wanted his teacher to know that in America people form alliances, they come together with one another.

Kenny had a different and very interesting take on America. “It’s a place where we don’t look the same,” he said enthusiastically, “but we all have the same parts.”

Someone once said, “A child can ask questions that a wise man cannot answer.”

In room 9 at the West End Elementary school, I listened with great delight to children who gave simple, but profound, answers to the question what is America?  Their answers came from the beauty of their hearts and the purity of their souls.  There were no hidden agendas. There were no expectations of reward. There was only a child-like innocence to cooperate, and share their deeply held beliefs.

It was a memorable and moving example of America at its best, teaching at its best, and love of country at its best.

It underscored the carefully crafted art work I saw hanging outside one of the classrooms I passed on my way to the music room.

“A Teacher opens a mind, holds a hand, touches a heart.”

If only all of us could have the privilege of visiting the classrooms like classroom 9 in elementary schools all over America, the fact that America is better than we think, our children are better than we think and our future is better than we think might begin to take flight. 

All we need to do is realize that we all look different, but we all have the same parts.

Thank you, Christina Moscatello.
Thank you, Corie Williams.
Thank you, Milan Lazistan.
Thank you, Megan Schutz.
Thank you, Alexa, Brandon, Brian, Chantal, Chelsea, Dave, Emily, Faith, Isaiah James, Janybeth, Jasmin, Kenny,  Muhammad, Parijot, Sara, Sophia, Timyan, Valerie, and Zohaib,

You are the Face of America on its best day, and what you did in your classroom personifies America at its best.  

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tony.mussari@gmail.com

Barbara “Bobbie” Platt

Written By Tony Mussari
Copyright 2012
Mussari-Loftus Associates, LTD
The Face of America Project

America lost one of its best this week. 

Her name will not appear in the headlines of any newspaper. It will not be number one in a Google search of famous people. There will be no testimonials on the national news, and very few people will know of her passing.

That’s exactly the way she would want it; no fuss, no fanfare, no fame, no public display of emotion.

Barbara Platt was a tiny woman with enormous talent and a heart as big as the moon. When she and her husband moved to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania in 1955, she found her passion. For more than 50 years she studied the Gettysburg National Battlefield, and she gave generously of her time to help preserve this national treasure.

Her book, This Is Sacred Ground, is one of a few books written about the battlefield not the battle. It has received four star reviews from people who have read it. “Civil War Librarian” selected it as one of the top ten books about Gettysburg most frequently consulted and enjoyed:

“Platt’s work may be close to one of a kind, having a clear focus on the acres in the park’s boundaries but not becoming overwhelmed by the myths and realities of interpreting the battle.”

If you visit Gettysburg and you stay at the Doubleday Inn Bed and Breakfast, you will receive a complimentary, autographed copy of what is described as “the most comprehensive history of the Gettysburg Battlefield since those 3 days in July, 1863”

Since its publication in 2001, Barbara had been a fixture in the gift shop at the Visitors’ Center. Almost every day of the week, she sat for hours talking with visitors and autographing copies of her book for everyone who purchased it.  This is where we met, and this is where our friendship took flight.

During our Face of America journey, we visited Gettysburg five times. It was my good fortune to have the pleasure of Barbara’s company at lunch during four of these visits. We had a good number of telephone conversations, and Barbara provided feedback for our book, America at Its Best.

Bobbie, as she was affectionately known to her friends, Kitch and I had much in common; a love of history, a compulsion to write, an interest in little known, but inspirational stories of hope and service, a love of animals and an heroic battle with cancer.

Bobbie knew the insidiousness of cancer in very real and personal ways. She battled breast cancer and she defied the odds. She had compassionate and very helpful advice for Kitch during her battle with breast cancer. “I don’t think about it,” she told us, “I just live my life, and do what I want to do.”

Recently, a very aggressive form of breast cancer resurfaced, and Bobby resumed chemotherapy. Nevertheless, when I asked her to sit for an interview for our documentary about battling cancer, she did not hesitate. She arranged all the details for our visit to the Gettysburg National Military Park. She was a perfect hostess.

During the interview, she was courageous, forthright and purposeful. She provided a priceless interview. At one point she looked at me and said, “I know we all have to die.  I would like to beat this thing so I can be here for the 150th anniversary of the battle.”

After the interview she introduced us to several people who work for the National Park Service. During these encounters, I detected great warmth, and respect. The people we met admired and liked Bobbie. You could see it in their warm embraces and their welcoming smiles when they greeted and talked with Bobbie.  

Unfortunately, Bobby did not get her wish.  She will not be here to celebrate the anniversary of the battle, and we will not be the beneficiaries of her deep understanding of what took place here in 1863. Cancer took her life and as the African saying goes, with her death we lost a library of priceless information and nuance.

During our first interview in 2010, Bobbie said something about Gettysburg that made an indelible mark on my soul. She was talking about the men who waged war in this sacred place and the public spirited men and women who have dedicated themselves to preserving this sacred ground:

You have to believe in something, if you are going to be successful, if you are going to make any contribution. I think that the men who fought here loved their country. I think that in the past few years we’ve had people leading this park who loved it and understood what the sacrifice was. If you have love, you have a lot going for you.

While studying the battlefield where 160,000 combatants engaged in the most brutal form of warfare producing 51,000 casualties, Barbara Platt, discovered the power of compassion, faith, honor, historical preservation, perseverance, respect, thoughtfulness, tolerance and love. She spent the last 11 years of her life sharing these healing gifts with everyone she met.

Barbara Platt – wife, mother, student, expert, friend, volunteer, and animal lover was an extraordinary woman. Those of us who knew her felt her love, and we were enriched and inspired by her quiet, humble, direct and no nonsense way.

America has lost one of its best public spirited citizens. She died the way she lived, courageously and quietly with dignity and class. She is a Face of America Kitch and I will never forget because she exemplified what America is on its best days. She was honest, thoughtful, helpful, loyal, tolerant and full of optimism and hope.

Her life gave truth to her words, “If you have love, you have a lot going for you.”

The words of one of her heroes Abraham Lincoln apply:

“Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any one thing.”

Thank you, Bobbie for showing us the way. You will be remembered with admiration, and you will be missed in all the ways that matter. May God have mercy on your soul.

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Tony.Mussari@gmail.com

(The Picture of Bobbie Platt in her volunteer uniform courtesy of The Gettysburg National Military Park.)

Thinking About Joe Paterno

Written By Tony Mussari
Copyright 2012
Mussari-Loftus Associates
The Face of America Project
www.faceofamericawps.com
tmussari@gmail.com

In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. Dr. Martin Luther king

The news of Joe Paterno’s death did not take me by surprise, I expected it. Anyone who followed his story during the past two weeks knew that Joe Paterno’s days were numbered. Nevertheless, I was saddened to read about Joe’s passing.

During my lifetime, I had three encounters with Joe Paterno.  All of them were positive.

The first time I called him, he answered his own phone. I invited him to be a speaker at a banquet here in my hometown.  He could not attend because of health problems his wife was experiencing. He graciously volunteered to get us another speaker, and he did.

Our second meeting happened when my brother Ken introduced me to Joe at a recruiting function. He was polite, gracious and very friendly.

The third contact took place 22 years ago. My brother, an avid Penn State fan, died shortly after he left the Blockbuster Bowl in the third quarter.  The cause was a fatal heart attack. Our family was devastated. I wrote to Joe Paterno to tell him about Ken’s death. I asked him to write a letter to Ken’s wife and children to ease their pain.

The letter he wrote was considerate, kind and thoughtful.

During an interview for Windsor Park Stories in 2007, Lee Lispi, one of Joe Paterno’s players, spoke about Joe Paterno the coach and the man. You can watch that interview at this address:

http://www.windsorparktheater.com/index.php?option=com_hwdvideoshare&task=viewvideo&Itemid=27&video_id=102

Much has been written and said about Joe Paterno during the past few months. In my mind’s eye, the words William Shakespeare wrote for Mark Antony should be comforting to Joe Paterno’s family and instructive to us:

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears;
I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.
The evil that men do lives after them;

The good is oft interred with their bones;
So let it be with Caesar. The noble Brutus
Hath told you Caesar was ambitious:
If it were so, it was a grievous fault,
And grievously hath Caesar answer’d it.
Here, under leave of Brutus and the rest -
For Brutus is an honourable man;
So are they all, all honourable men -
Come I to speak in Caesar’s funeral.
He was my friend, faithful and just to me:
But Brutus says he was ambitious;
And Brutus is an honourable man.
He hath brought many captives home to Rome
Whose ransoms did the general coffers fill:
Did this in Caesar seem ambitious?
When that the poor have cried, Caesar hath wept:
Ambition should be made of sterner stuff:
Yet Brutus says he was ambitious;
And Brutus is an honourable man.
You all did see that on the Lupercal
I thrice presented him a kingly crown,
Which he did thrice refuse: was this ambition?
Yet Brutus says he was ambitious;
And, sure, he is an honourable man.
I speak not to disprove what Brutus spoke,
But here I am to speak what I do know.
You all did love him once, not without cause:
What cause withholds you then, to mourn for him?
O judgment! thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason. Bear with me;
My heart is in the coffin there with Caesar,
And I must pause till it come back to me.

On this day of parting, the words of Joe Paterno ring true for me.  This morning I sent coach Paterno’s words as a thought for the day to a friend and former student to ease the pain of a recent setback in his life.

Joe Paterno, coach, teacher, philanthropist, husband, father and grandfather is dead at 85. He achieved greatness. He empowered others to do good work on and off the field. He was human. He made mistakes and one serious and haunting misjudgment. Fortunately, he lived long enough to acknowledge that misjudgment and gracefully accept what resulted from it.

He was, in Shakespeare’s words, an honorable man, and I feel obligated to write what I know about him

May God have mercy on his soul.

Please provide feedback to:
Tony.mussari@gmail.com

Walking With Justice

Written By Tony Mussari
Copyright 2012
Mussari-Loftus Associates, LTD
The Face of America Project
www.faceofamericawps.com
tony.mussari@gmail.com

Mollie Marti is a wife, mother, lawyer, teacher, writer, coach and friend. She is one of the kindest people Kitch and I met during our journey across America. Born, raised and educated in Iowa, she has accomplished much in her lifetime, but she has remained true to the principles of family, faith and friendship commonly known as “Iowa Nice.”

In 1991, Mollie joined an elite group of young law clerks who were carefully selected by Judge Max Rosenn, United States Court of Appeals for the Third Circuit, and her life was changed forever.

This week Mollie came to our hometown to promote her book, Walking with Justice. It is the story about what she learned from her mentor, Judge Max Rosenn, and why he is “A Man for All Seasons.”

Mollie’s account of Judge Rosenn’s life lessons is compelling, thoughtful and artfully told with the conviction and compassion of a caring heart. In so many ways, it is a manual for what one should expect from a mentor, and a blueprint for what America is on its best day.

During Mollie’s visit, Kitch and I had several priceless moments talking with Mollie and recording images of Mollie interacting with friends, colleagues and perfect strangers who came to purchase her book.

There were many warm hugs of friendship and reunion, but one moment that left an indelible mark on my soul happened when a student approached the table where she was signing books at Barnes & Noble. He had been watching Mollie from afar, and he finally summoned enough courage to approach her.

What happened next was quintessential Mollie Marti. The student did not have enough money to purchase the book so Mollie gave him an autographed copy of a summary of the book.  

The boy was stunned, and I was fortunate enough to capture this special moment for Mollie and her family. The expression on the boy’s face says it all.

In a way, this was vintage Mollie. She is a warm, welcoming woman with a heart of gold and a spirit that gives freely of her talents to help others.

It is also a statement about the man who taught her to write her legacy every day of the week.

The man she calls “life’s greatest mentor” would be very proud of his former student and the legacy she is building one day at a time, one person at a time, one opportunity to serve at a time.

In my mind’s eye, there is a quotation in Walking with Justice that captures the essence of Judge Rosenn and the brilliance of Mollie’s work:

“Helping others in need is not only a responsibility of life; it is what gives meaning to life.”

Mollie Marti and Judge Max Rosen united again in a book that will make you feel good about the law, the judicial system and America. It was written by a genuine Face of America about a man whose life defined all that is good, decent and inspiring about America at its best.

It doesn’t get much better than that.

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tony.mussari@gmail.com

Serendipity: Meeting Holly Berry

Written By Tony Mussari
Copyright 2012
Mussari-Loftus Associates, LTD
The Face of America Project
www.faceofamericawps.com
tony.mussari@gmail.com

“Serendipity. Look for something, find something else, and realize that what you’ve found is more suited to your needs than what you thought you were looking for.”  Lawrence Block

I drove into the parking lot of Luzerne Lumber shortly after noon on an unseasonably warm January day.  My mission was simple. I was looking for a package of roofing nails. I needed them to make a temporary repair to a section of our roof that was damaged during the fall storms that devastated parts of Northeastern Pennsylvania.

Why did I wait so long, you ask?

The answer is too long and too complicated to relate here, but I will tell you that my responsibilities as a caregiver for my wife who was battling cancer at the time had something to do with the delays. Faulty work by a contractor who promised us the world and left us holding the bag had a great deal more to do with it.

That was yesterday.  On this day my course was charted and I was determined to get the work done before real January weather arrived.

As I made my way across the parking lot to the store, I thought to myself, there are more cars in this lot than I have ever seen.

When I opened the door, an overflow crowd occupied virtually every square foot of space. Most of these people were not there to shop. They were there to celebrate the birthday of an employee, Holly Berry, who had just learned that her treatment for breast cancer was officially over.

It was a moment that rivaled any of the best Hollywood crescendo moments, and wouldn’t you know, I was without my digital camera. A 20-minute return trip corrected that.

When I returned to the store many of the guests had left, but it was my good fortune that Holly Berry, two of her children and her father were on the premises.  They agreed to visit with me so I could take some pictures and talk with them about the event.

Holly is the mother of four children.  Her dad is a distinguished looking man whose face bears the scars left by the premature loss of his wife to breast cancer and the anxiety ridden months of his daughter’s battle with breast cancer.

Holly works at Luzerne Lumber. She has taken it upon herself to inform everyone who will listen about the danger of breast cancer. The owners of the store have been very supportive of Holly.  Her friends, family and coworkers spearheaded a fundraising campaign. The pink angels customers purchase to honor loved ones who have battled the disease are displayed in a prominent place in the store. They give testimony to the success of the campaign.

During a previous visit to the store, I purchased an angel for Kitch.

Holly Berry is a woman of dignity and class. She conducts herself in a very impressive way. When she talks about her situation, she speaks from her heart. She knows the disease as a caregiver for her mother and as a patient, and she is quick to point out that it is more difficult to be a caregiver.

The most important lesson she learned from her experience is not to take life for granted, and to use time wisely.

She has kind words for Dr. Dan Kopen who was wonderful to her mother when she was his patient.  They were students at Wilkes College, and they knew one another during their college years.

Holly was equally positive about her experience at Fox Chase where she decided to have her treatments.

When I asked Holly what she intends to do with the rest of her life, she did not hesitate:

“I intend to live each day as a gift.”

Holly Berry is a face of America on its best day.  She personifies the kind of courage, determination and value based-leadership that cancer patients need to survive. She is optimistic about her future, and she is going to make the best of whatever she will encounter. She is not angry.  She does not feel sorry for herself, and she does not lament what has happened to her.

Everyone should have a neighbor or friend like Holly Berry, and everyone should have employers like the people who own and operate Luzerne Lumber. 

In that store on that day, it was serendipitous that I saw America at its best. It is an image and a memory that will last forever.

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tony.mussari@gmail.com

Service with a Smile and Kind Words to Match

Written By Tony Mussari
Copyright 2012
Mussari-Loftus Associates, LTD
The Face of America Project
www.faceofamericawps.com
tony.mussari@gmail.com

One of the measures of America at its best is service.  Two of our founding fathers, John Adams and Ben Franklin, penned words about service that are popular to this day:

“If we do not lay out ourselves in the service of mankind whom should we serve?”

“Well done is better than well said.”

Translated into aphorisms that define the concept of client service, I would offer these:

“The customer is always right.”

“The customer is King.”

Sam Walton, the founder of Wal-Mart had very strong feelings about customer service:

“The goal as a company is to have customer service that is not just the best but legendary.”

“There is only one boss. The customer. And he can fire everybody in the company from the chairman on down, simply by spending his money somewhere else.”

Service in Action and Word

This week I met a woman who personifies all of the characteristics of customer service at its best.

Debbie Heberling is the manager of the hardware department at our local Wal-Mart store. When I called the store to ask about the availability of a Brinks Corded Motion Light, she greeted me in very welcoming way. She explained that she had not been in her department for three weeks, but she would walk to the aisle where the lights were displayed, and look for the product.

She took her time.  She was not inconvenienced by my request.  She was more than willing to be helpful, and she eventually found what she thought at the time was the right product.

She brought the light to a central location, and she made arrangements for me to pick it up.

When I thanked her for the time and effort she invested in the transaction, she said something that made a lasting impression:

“I am more than happy to help you. Without satisfied customers, I would not have a job.”

What a refreshing and thoughtful thing to say to a customer.  It made my day.

When I went to the store, the product was exactly where she said it would be and it had my name on it.

I asked for Debbie, and I was told she was working at register 20. I wanted to thank her, so I made my way to the register. We had a very pleasant discussion, and then I asked for the manager to record my satisfaction with Debbie’s accommodating service.

With that done, I walked to my car, and I drove home.

When I opened the box, I was surprised to find a light that was not corded. Neither Debbie nor I thought it necessary to open the box in the store.

When I made contact with Debbie to tell her what happened, she did not hesitate to apologize for the inconvenience. She took full responsibility for the inconvenience and she volunteered to do everything in her power to fix the situation.

“I am embarrassed,” she said, “when things like this happen. I do not like it when my department is disorganized. I take pride in my work, and I like to help customers.”

So what’s the bottom line here?

If every employee and department manager went to the client service school of Debbie Heberling every shopping experience would be pleasant and productive.

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tony.mussari@gmail.com