Final Cut: Teaching the “Shanksville Standard” with Help from Our Friends in North Plainfield, New Jersey

Written by Tony Mussari
Copyright 2011
Mussari Loftus Associates, LTD

Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.  Kevin Arnold The Wonder Years

Shortly after we returned from our final visit and screening in Shanksville, Kitch and I received a very kind note. It began with these words:

I am still in a state of euphoria about the entire trip. Thank you for everything that you did this past weekend.  I know that there was so much work involved, and that you both were exhausted by Sunday, but do know that every single person’s life was affected for the better.  I will never forget it!

What did we do in Shanksville on September 24?  It’s a fair question, and it has a simple answer.

We tried to teach a group of students from North Plainfield, New Jersey, what it means to be an American, what it means to reach up for the best edition of themselves, what it means to celebrate death in order to live a better life, what it takes to navigate the bumps in the road of life, and what it means to emulate what I like to call “the Shanksville Standard.”

Kitch and I met the students from North Plainfield on a bleak, rainy day at the People’s Memorial to the Heroes of Flight 93 in September 2009.  Dressed in their bright cheerleader uniforms, the students were carefully placing American flags on each of the 40 Angels of Freedom.  Instinctively, I knew there was something very special about these students and their thoughtful act of remembrance.

Since that day two years ago, North Plainfield has become like a second home for me. I enjoy working with the students. I admire the administrators, teachers and staff. I find the atmosphere in the high school to be infectious in all the ways that matter. Simply put, good things are happening in North Plainfield.

On this Saturday in September, we began our day with a visit to the permanent memorial. Then, we drove to Shanksville where Sue Strohm and Chuck Wagner, Flight 93 Ambassadors, talked about their experiences at the People’s Memorial to the Heroes of Flight 93.

During the afternoon break, the cheerleaders visited the only privately owned memorial in the Shanksville area.  In the peace and quiet of this renovated chapel, they left 40 American flags to honor the Heroes of Flight 93.

Kitch and I managed to find time to make our way to Ida’s Store. It is a gathering place at the entrance to the town.  While we were sitting on the bench in front of Ida’s, we received a welcoming wave from an Amish woman and her husband as they made their way along Main Street to the farm where they live.  It was a quintessential Shanksville moment.

Late in the afternoon, the cheerleaders returned to this town of 250 people. They joined friends, family, and former students for dinner.  Watching out of the corner of my eye, I saw people talking, laughing, sharing and listening to the sweet sounds of camaraderie.

After dinner, we talked about life, death and everything in between. It was a teaching moment, and an opportunity to help the students tie everything together.

Earlier in the day, I asked the students and their elders to think about the final moments of Flight 93. I asked them to think about what they would do if they were in a similar situation. A few members of our group shared their responses, and one person, Doug MacMillan, made it very clear that he did not know what he would have done. The honesty of his comment touched the heart of everyone in the room.

At the appointed time, we walked to the United Methodist Church for the screening of Shanksville, PA: A Place of Transformation.

Before the lights were dimmed, I shared two letters that celebrated Kitch’s courageous and successful battle with cancer.  Then, I read an article I wrote on September 11, 2011, specifically for the screening. It is titled “Thinking About America.”

It began with these words.

Standing in this place where I have been nine times before, I am filled with emotions I cannot explain.  It‘s a mixture of apprehension, exhilaration, gratitude, melancholy, and wonder.

On this day, we came here to celebrate death to learn about life. We came here to honor heroes who knew they were going to die. Heroes who refused to give up and give in. Heroes who used their final minutes of life to protect sacred national symbols and hundreds of people who would have died without their intervention.

The memory of their heroic revolt evokes admiration, affection and amazement.  It also evokes anger, dismay and a kind of emptiness that eats away at my soul.  It produces questions without answers and anguish without resolution.

“Thinking About America” ends with a challenge for the students from North Plainfield and Americans everywhere:

Ten years ago, we made a promise to tell the Shanksville story with dignity and class. For 3,650 days, we have remained true to that promise. In doing that, we have been changed in ways we never thought possible.

Today, Kitch and I look at our county through a different lens, and we measure ourselves and the people we meet against the “Shanksville Standard.”

Do we have the courage to do the right thing?

Do we have the will to do the honorable thing?

Do we have the fortitude to do the difficult thing with grace?

Do we have the insight necessary to understand that service to others is more rewarding than service to self?

Do we have the strength to pick ourselves up when we fall, and move forward with hope?

Do we have the wisdom to remember the everyday heroes of Flight 93?

Will we live a life of “loving kindness?”

These are difficult questions.  These are transformational questions.  The answers to these questions are deeply rooted in the heart, not the mind.

These are questions that have a high priority in the North Plainfield School District. Shanksville PA: A Place of Transformation documents this in the words spoken by the students about their country. More importantly, it records it in the actions of the cheerleaders who are taught the significance of service to others.

With the familiar music of the opening scene of the documentary resonating off the walls of the church, I walked to the back of the room. In my mind, the words of the father of Greek tragedy summarized what the students were about to see:

“Memory is the mother of all wisdom.”  Aeschylus

Digital photographs provided by Frank Pizzani, Skip Pulcrano, Chuck Wagner.

Please provide feedback to tmussari@gmail.com

A Review of our Visit to Shanksville

Written by Pat Richel

When my friend Pat agreed to accompany me on the trip this past weekend, I worried that it would be a long three days for her.  I had often talked to her about your work, Kitch’s ordeal, and Skip’s cheerleaders when we were on the beach, but I still wondered.

From the first time we all met at the restaurant, Pat and I were made to feel so much a part of the group.  Everyone who was there that weekend had an important connection to Shanksville.  (Except us, of course.)  Pat and I were also constantly amazed at everyone’s role in the total picture.  We quizzed everyone and by the end of the weekend, knew so much about all.

I was deeply involved with the Twin Towers, because I knew someone who died, and also knew some survivors.  My nephew was late going to work that day, and would have been a casualty if he hadn’t overslept.  Our next door neighbor worked in a bank next to the towers.  I was working at Montclair State University at the time and was on my way to teach a 1:00 P.M. class that day.  Montclair is built on a mountain and the road on the way to the college gives a clear picture of the New York skyline.  When I saw the towers and the smoke, I was sickened.  Needless to say, I canceled classed when I arrived.

And so, though I was extremely saddened about what happened at Shanksville, the Twin Towers affected me more.  That certainly changed this weekend!  I learned so much and appreciate what everyone has done to keep the memory of those heroes alive.  Each moment of the weekend was enlightening.  Even if it made us cry.  It certainly transformed two chubby Pats from New Jersey.

After speaking to the cheerleaders, I noticed that they were transfixed with all that went on, and they too, will never be the same.  In my heart, I predict great things for all of them.  They will make their mark on this world and everyone will benefit from it.  I only wish that all students could have the opportunity to have a dose of the Mussaris and develop the "Shanksville Standard".  How much better would our lives be?

My only hope is to make the documentary accessible.  I know that it is not your purpose to commercialize it, but students and adults need to see it.  I can’t wait to see it again. 

My last thought is that I wish I had seen the old memorial with the angels, the flags, and the mementos.  The new permanent memorial is cold and almost forbidding.  Maybe that is just my opinion.  Hopefully the wonderful, volunteer Flight 93 Ambassadors will make peoples’ visits more meaningful.  The ones I met are prizes!

Thank you again for an unforgettable weekend.  Pat and I are still talking about it and will continue for a long time to come.

(Pat Richel is a school nurse, a teacher and a breast cancer survivor. She Lives in New Jersey.)

Please provide feedback to tmussari@gmail.com

Visiting Shanksville: The Secret to Our Remarkable Weekend

Written by Tony Mussari
Copyright 2011
Mussari Loftus Associates, LTD

The eternal quest of the individual human being is to shatter his loneliness.  Norman Cousins

I’ve been thinking a lot about our recent visit and screening in Shanksville. It was a remarkable experience on so many levels, and I think I know the reason why.

The places we visited were special, but that alone does not explain it.

The weather was reasonable decent, but that was to be expected.

The cost was not prohibitive, but that has always been the case.

So what caused people to write such celebratory and kind words about the weekend?  Words like these:

We could not stop talking about our experience this weekend. As always it was touching, respectful and beautiful. 

It was an amazing weekend in Shanksville.  This is your finest video.  What a fitting way to end a ten year project.

My sister told me about her wonderful experience she had with you and your wife over this past weekend and I’m so happy that it was a huge success.

We want to thank you for an unforgettable weekend. It meant the world to us being there with you both.

I believe in my heart that people enjoyed this weekend because they felt a genuine sense of belonging and a genuine sense of community.

I experienced those feelings at our dinner for 14 at the Pine Grill.  Just look at the smiles on the faces of the people, most of whom had just driven over four hours to get to Somerset, PA.

The feeling of community was palpable in the dining room of the Comfort Inn, in little gatherings at the permanent memorial, at the Methodist Church in the parking lot before Flight 93 Ambassadors Sue Strohm and Chuck Wagner made their presentation.

Outside the entrance to the Lutheran Church Recreation Hall before our community dinner people were laughing and smiling as they carried food into the building while others milled around to talk with one another and wonder if Bill Gaydos would ever arrive with his three blond friends.

So what was this sense of community that made us forget about all the things that bother us every day?

I think it can be best defined by identifying what was absent during this priceless weekend.

There was no anger, no alienation, no busyness, no contention, no confrontation, no hostility, no indifference, no loneliness.

What we had was a sense of equanimity, a sense of family, a sense of neighborliness, a sense of sharing.

There was no digital obsession.  There was genuine face to face and heart to heart communication. We were talking, learning, sharing, caring and spending time together.

We had common purpose and meaning tied into a desire to remember and a determination to think about, talk about, and show respect for people other than ourselves.

We were living and affirming what my friend George Parks said life is all about. Pariicipation. Someone wasn’t doing it for us. We weren’t watching it. We were doing it, living it and loving it ourselves.

We were giving testimony to the poetic words of Maya Angelou:

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.

The snapshots we recorded document it.  The pleasant memories we carried away with us are embedded on our souls, and these memories prove that we knew what to do with our time and with one another.

We were not alone together. There were no distractions, no diversions, no digital solitaire.  

We were together, engaged and involved in something bigger than ourselves and that made all the difference.

We came to Shanksville on this September weekend to honor the heroes of flight 93. We came to this small town to remember with respect the men and women who gave their lives for our country after Spetember 11, 2001. We came to watch an artistic depiction of what America is at its best, and without knowing it or straining to do it, we built a community, a neighborhood, a family that reflects the best America has to offer.

To paraphrase the words of Dorothy Day, we brought the long loneliness of our lives to Shanksville, and like the men and women we came to honor, we discovered the answer to everything in life and death is community.

It doesn’t get much better than that.

Please provide feedback to tmussari@gmail.com

Three Days with Steve Harrison in Philadelphia

Written By Tony Mussari
Copyright 2011
Mussari-Loftus Associates
The Face of America Project
faceofamericawps.com

So what do you do when you’ve finished writing your book, and you’re looking for someone to help you get the word out?  

You Google “Getting National Publicity for Your Book,” and instantly the wizards at Google give you more than 4 million hits.

That’s what I did a few years back, and that’s how I discovered Steve Harrison. He was listed on the first page of the search with four separate opportunities. I willingly provided my contact information, and Steve obliged me with announcements and invitations to everything he has done since May 2009.

I participated in many of his internet events, and I have a file folder containing 4,080 marketing messages from Steve.

Recently, my best friend made it possible for me to attend Steve Harrison’s “Publicity Workshop” in Philadelphia. It was a generous gift for two years of work during the first phase of our Face of America project.

Before the workshop began, many thoughts ran through my mind. What would the event be like? Who would attend?  What would I learn? Would I feel comfortable? Would Steve Harrison and his staff care about what I was doing, and would they be willing to help me?

Translated into more direct terms, as I approached the registration desk I was anxious, apprehensive and a little uneasy. My expectations were high. I was walking into the unknown, and that is always an uncomfortable experience.

The staff members I met during registration were cheerful and pleasant.

Steve Harrison was waiting for attendees as we took our seats in the large conference room at the Marriott Hotel at the Philadelphia International Airport. He was impeccably dressed in a business suit and tie. He was engaging, professional, polite, respectful and welcoming.

Steve Harrison is an accomplished businessman, consultant, speaker, writer and advisor to many. For twenty years he has been at the top of his game in the information business. His style is corporate but relaxed. His temperament is patient but focused. His youthful looks and pleasant voice enable him to connect with his audience. He has the gift of teaching, and he is well organized. He is a good storyteller, and he knows his field.

More than once, I heard someone say, “He is moving at the right pace. I have no difficulty following him.”

Halfway through the morning session, I had an impulse to record my thoughts about the workshop. I flipped the yellow pages in my Ampad to the very last page. Once there, I scribbled seven notes:

I like the person next to me;

I like the tone of the conference;

I like the atmosphere Steve Harrison is creating;

I like his approach to the subject matter;

I like the friendliness of his staff;

I like the way Steve Harrison takes time to connect with people. He has a gift for reaching people.

These initial impressions were solidified and made stronger with each session. In a magical way in a place far from home, a group of strangers from all over the country and several parts of the world became a tightly knit community of learners. When given the opportunity to speak, people spoke with conviction and passion about their projects, their ideas and their books.

When given an opportunity to share, they volunteered to share what then knew openly and freely with others. I know this in very real ways because I was the beneficiary of generous and thoughtful acts of kindness from several people. When I reached out for help with our Face of America project the response was positive, beautiful and humbling.

A woman from New Jersey offered help with social media.  A woman from California and another from South Carolina offered housing if we were ever in the area. A lawyer from Pennsylvania offered help in a very specialized way, and very pleasant person from Arizona offered to help us make connections in his city.

If truth be told, virtually everyone in the room was offering and receiving similar acts of help and kindness.

One of my new-found friends put it this way: “I like the way people are focused outward, not inward.”

I like to think this is commonplace at Steve Harrison’s events, because in a very real way he has a unique ability to bring out the best in people.

Don’t get me wrong, he is not some pie in the sky, feet off the ground Pollyanna. When all is said and done, Steve Harrison is a skillful businessman and as one of his employees said, “He is a great salesman.” Yet that’s not all he is. Both on and off stage, he is a man with a heart and soul. A man who wants to help others maximize their opportunities, and he has a proven track record of doing just that.

This was underscored in a powerful way when he shared the stage with Orrin Hudson. A former state policeman turned youth developer, Orrin is a chess master. He uses this skill to reach out to disadvantaged kids.  In his 16-week chess workshops, Hudson has taught more than 10,000 students ages 16-19 how to be someone. Orrin Hudson is a big man with a big heart and an important mission. He is giving students hope one chess move at a time. At Steve Harrison’s publicity workshop, he reminded all of us what really is important in life, serving others.   

When I was a youngster, my mother taught me an invaluable lesson with these 14 words, “Tell me who your company is and I will tell you what you are.”

For three days in July in one of the citadels of American liberty, I was in the company of Steve Harrison and people who believe in his work. I was in the company of Orrin Hudson and his chess board. I was in the company of inspirational people from every section of America and three foreign countries who came to learn how to tell their stories in a convincing way.

During our time together, we watched a master at work, and we formed connections that lifted our spirits and made us feel good about our dreams, our passion and our work.  

In the shadow of Independence Hall where our freedoms took flight, I was in the company of the Face of America on its best day. I was surrounded by people who gave testimony in action and deeds to what Cuban American Elisa Nelson expressed so beautifully, “America is a good place to be.”

It doesn’t get much better than that.

Thank you, Steve.

Thank you, Nancy, Dave, Geoffrey, Joe, Rich.

Thank you, fellow attendees, authors, entrepreneurs, project directors, teachers and friends.

Thank you, Mollie.

Thank you best friend, for making this magical experience possible.

Please provide feedback to:
tmussari@gmail.com

Montoursville, Celebrating Death to Understand Life

Written by Tony Mussari & Kitch Loftus-Mussari
Photographs by Karen V. Kennedy & Tony Mussari
The Face of America Project
Copyright Mussari-Loftus Associates, 2011

I have been sitting here thinking about life, death and everything in between. It’s been that kind of a year, and this is a very special evening.

One year ago, Kitch and I were walking on cloud 9. We had just finished two wonderful Face of America days in Eden Prairie, Minnesota, during our trip to the Middle West. We interview 14 people including the city manager, the police chief and the fire chief. We presented the National 9/11 Remembrance Flag to city officials, and it was quickly put on display in the City Center. We were invited to address the city council. Our presentation resulted in an invitation to appear on a television talk program.

It was an experience like no other during our journey.

The next morning as we made our way along highway 77 to Minneapolis, we were jubilant and filled with a feeling of accomplishment. Then it happened. We were sitting in morning traffic waiting to take the next exit when out of nowhere a car came crashing into our Prius. In that instant, we and our project were changed in ways we never expected.

We survived the crash, but not the complications that followed. To this day the reverberations of the accident are a part of our life. Whenever we are on a highway, we are aware of the unseen and unexpected danger from behind. Each month we receive an invoice for our 2010 leased Prius. Our 2007 Prius was debt free.

Fast forward 12 months. Our road trip is finished. Our book is written. We survived other more serious bumps in the road, and we are we are blessed to be alive. Every week we receive encouraging notes from people we met during our journey, and we continue to add new Face of America experiences that help us to refine the face of America on its best day.

Our greatest blessing is the progress Kitch is making in her battle with breast cancer. With the help of Dr. Dan Kopen and his wonderful team, she successfully completed all of the surgical procedures. The life enhancing, but very challenging, chemotherapy treatments are behind us, and she is making her way through six weeks of radiation treatments.

A recent visit to Montoursville, Pennsylvania, on the15th anniversary of the tragic ending of TWA Flight 800, put everything in perspective. I had to make this journey alone because Kitch cannot be exposed to the sun for any length of time.

While covering the visit of the North Plainfield cheerleaders to Montoursville, something they have done every year since the crash, I met the father of Julia Grimm. Hers is one of the 21 names engraved in granite on the pedestal supporting the angel in the memorial garden adjacent to the high school. When I read the name, I had an instant and special connection with Charles Grimm. My granddaughter’s name is Julia. I could feel his pain, his loss, his emptiness.

In that moment of connection, I had a gratitude moment that will be with me until my final day.

It happened again at Johnson’s Restaurant. I followed the cheerleaders inside the restaurant. They presented symbolic flowers to a pleasant woman named Kate Meckbach who just happened to have a connection with North Plainfield. Her mother was a North Plainfield cheerleader. When I asked Kate a question that brought back memories of July 17, 1996, she tried unsuccessfully to hold back tears of sadness.

And again, when I read a note from Rev. Steve McGough that ended with these words, “The families have suffered much. Many were so devastated they never completely recovered.”

A few minutes later, I heard the words of Mary Ann Peck and her daughter Elaine Slattery. Sitting in an SUV waiting for another relative who was making a purchase at the Montoursville Creamery both women spoke glowingly about the cheerleaders and their act of kindness.

I was fortunate to meet Whitney Boyle who was treating her 80-year old grandmother to ice cream at the creamery. They presented the quintessential picture of this wonderful town. It’s a joyful picture, a family picture, a picture of affection, connection and respect.

Montoursville is small town America at its very best. It’s a place where people care about one another. It’s a town where friendship, civic pride, community service and patriotism are not just words. They are shared values that are practiced in a way that improves the quality of life for everyone.

The lesson of Montoursville is poignant and profound. Those of us who have life often take it for granted. It is something we wake up with in the morning and something that sustains us through the night. It is always there, always available. Seldom thought about, and never expected to end the way it did for the 16 students and 5 chaperones on Flight 800.

That is why it is helpful and important that our life journey take us to places like Montoursville. When we connect with Julia Grimm, our lives take on a new and deeper meaning, and a rich appreciation for what is really important in life. It helps us refine two of the essential qualities of America on its best day, compassion and empathy. It makes us realize that life is a gift. It should not be taken for granted or wasted on thoughtless, reckless or frivolous activities.

When I looked into the eyes of Chuck Grimm who lost his daughter and Stephanie Bedison, who lost two of her track team members, I saw the legacy of TWA Flight 800. On the outside, they were living, laughing, talking and making the most of life. They were keeping themselves busy so they would not have time to concentrate on the painful memories of the past. But on the inside they were tormented by a question that has no answer, Why?

Before I left Montoursvillle, I returned to the Memorial Garden. I stood in silence as my eyes followed the configuration of 21 maple trees that create a circle of life around the huge angel whose hands reach out in prayer. In that moment, I experienced the powerful impact of this place of hope and remembrance. In that moment I understood the gift of life.

As endearing images of this peaceful garden made permanent etchings on my soul, I heard the beautiful words of Amy Grant:

And oh how the years go by
And oh how the love brings tears to my eyes
All through the changes
The soul never dies
We fight, we laugh, we cry
As the years go by

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The Face of America: Montoursville, PA

By Tony Mussari & Kitch Loftus-Mussari
The Face of America Project
faceofamericawps.com
Copyright Mussari-Loftus Associates, 2011

I saw the Face of America today. It belongs to a big man with a 19th century mustache that covers the scars of loss embedded deep in the lining of his face.

I saw the Face of America today. It belongs to a long distance runner and cross-country coach who carries in her heart the burning memory of the death of two of her team members.

I saw the Face of America today. It belongs to more than 200 runners and walkers who came to Indian Park to celebrate 21 people who are forever a part of American history.

I saw the Face of America today. It belongs to eight cheerleaders from the high school in North Plainfield, New Jersey, a place that defines diversity and community service at its very best.

I saw the Face of America today. It belongs to a photojournalist who conducted herself with dignity, class and distinction.

I saw the Face of America today. It is filled with hope for tomorrow and respect for yesterday.

These Faces of America came together to commemorate the 15th anniversary of the tragic ending of TWA Flight 800.

The man with the mustache lost a daughter named Julia. He was standing with Rev. Steve McGough, who knows in real ways the unimaginable suffering of parents like Chuck Grimm.

The long distance runner and coach Stephanie Bedison lost two of her team members, Jordan Bower and Jody Loudenslager.

The North Plainfield cheerleaders came to continue their annual tradition of community service, to affirm the special nature of this event, and to present a flag that flew over each of the locations that pay tribute to another unforgettable day, September 11, 2001.

The photojournalist, Karen Kennedy showed respect for the people and the event she was covering.

Everyone assembled here came to make a statement about America at its best. A caring nation, a helping nation, a supportive nation, a proud nation that does not forget its fallen, and finds a way to turn tragedy into the triumph of the human spirit.

This is the America of Montoursville, Pennsylvania, North Plainfield, New Jersey, Berwick and Sunbury, Pennsylvania and dozens of other communities represented at this race.

It’s the best that small town America has to offer. A welcoming place, a comforting place, a beautiful place where love of country, family and community makes one proud to be an American and humble in the presence of these heroes who push aside the tears of tragedy and move forward with confident and thoughtful hearts.

The people we met on this Day of Remembrance are the Face of America on its best day, and we are the beneficiaries of their example, kindness and good will.

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Happy Birthday, America

Written By Tony Mussari
Photography by Kitch Loftus-Mussari
Copyright 2011
Mussari Loftus Associates, Ltd
The Face of America Project

On this Independence Day, Kitch and I will be thinking about America.  Not the America we read about in the news, not the America defined by critics and pundits.

The America we will be thinking about is the country we saw at the ground level as we traveled the blue-lined roads and superhighways searching for the Face of America on its best day.

It is the America of the Greatest Generation whose quiet heroes won the war against Nazism and Fascism.

It is the America of the New Greatest Generation with inspirational heroes like 2d Lt. Emily Perez and Sergeant Joshua Harris whose names are listed with 7,000 others on the black granite walls of the poignant memorial in Marseilles, Illinois, and the hand-crafted memorial of white crosses in Lafayette, California.

It is the America of the four men on the mountain whose faces were carefully and patriotically etched on Mt. Rushmore.

It is the America that is celebrated at an evening service at Mt. Rushmore that ends with a heartfelt tribute to every veteran in the audience.

It is the America of Libba Blanding, a woman who greeted everyone with a smile at the Welcome Center in Sumter, South Carolina, and the volunteers who found homes for unwanted and uncared for pets in Kent, Washington.

It is the America of Olympian Mechelle Lewis who realized her dream and feels an obligation to empower others to do the same.

It is the America of the men and women who volunteered to tell the story of Flight 93 at the People’s Memorial in Shanksville PA, and volunteers like Barbara Platt who help visitors understand the nuances of the great battle at Gettysburg, Pennsylvania.

It is the America of Montgomery, Alabama, where an historical marker records the courage and determination of Rosa Parks.

It is the America of Central High School in Little Rock Arkansas, where nine students opened the door to the fulfillment of the American dream of a free public education for everyone.

It’s is the America of Dr. Mollie Marti whose book Walking with Justice tells the story of a great jurist and the meaning of equal and fair justice under the law for everyone.

It is the America of Dr. Stephen Post whose book, The Hidden Gifts of Helping, provides a prescription for happiness and a healthy life.

It is the America of George Parks whose dynamic leadership at the University of Massachusetts helped students and band members understand there is more to music than notes on a page.

It’s the America of Monica Ramirez and like-minded people who believe that in America there will always be someone to catch you when you fall.

It’s the America of the North Plainfield High School where you see the face of America’s tomorrow today.

It the America of Erin Donovan, Jon Yee, and Jon Zagami who come together at Fenway Park for the Home Base Program to raise money to help veterans who have traumatic brain injuries.

It’s the America of Dr. Dan Kopen who treats patients not clients. For this competent and caring surgeon, his work is the work of a medical doctor not a medical provider.

It’s the America of Dr. David Greenwald and Dr. Norman Schulman whose innovative thinking resulted in the creation of a first-class, state-of-the-art medical oncology and radiation treatment center in our hometown.

It’s the America of the not-for-profit hospital, Fox Chase, where everyone realizes that a person does not get cancer, a family does. At Fox Chase, everyone is treated with dignity, class and compassion.

It’s the America of former boxing champion Larry Holmes who taught an important principle by example, not words, “There is some money that ain’t worth making.”

It’s the America of Julie Marvel where the road to a friend’s house in never long.

It’s the America of Peg Yascur’s garden where you are nearer God’s heart than anywhere else on this earth.

It’s the America of Kitch where determination, perseverance, and hope are stronger than cancer.

It’s the America of great teachers like Sister Mary Hilary and Dr. Richard Loomis who can see beyond the obvious to help students become the best edition of themselves.

It’s the America of all those people who opened their hearts and their homes to Kitch and me while we were on the road searching for the Face of America, and while we were traveling that long, dark gravel road called cancer.  

This is the America I will be thinking about on this the 235th birthday of our country. This is the America that gives me hope that tomorrow will be better than today.  This is the America I know and love.  This is the America that is my home. This is America the beautiful.

Happy Birthday America, you are glorious!

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tmussari@gmail.com
faceofamericawps.com

 

 

A Tour of Jubilation

Written By Tony Mussari
Copyright 2011
Mussari-Loftus Associates
The Face of America Project
faceofamericawps.com

Several weeks ago when Kitch was finishing the most difficult part of her battle with breast cancer, we received a kind note from one of our former students. It began with these words, “Great news to hear Kitch is done with her chemo! Congratulations! Next step it is!  Be on the lookout for the mailman today, maybe tomorrow.”

When the mail arrived, it contained an envelope with two tickets for the 2011 Tour of the Back Mountain Gardens, and an invitation to a private reception. Both events are organized by the Back Mountain Bloomers Garden Club.

Since that day, Kitch and I have been thinking about the invitation, and hoping we would be able to participate.

One month to the day Kitch finished her last chemotherapy treatment and less than a week after her portacath removal surgery, we were on our way to the first garden on the garden tour. It was a beautiful July morning. Following the directions to the first stop on the tour, we parked our Toyota Tacoma in front of a big red barn on Hildebrandt Road.  Then we boarded a shuttle bus, driven by, Jessica, a smiling undergraduate from Misericordia University.

As we approached the registration table at the entrance to the first garden, we were greeted by Mark and Maureen Albrecht. Kitch worked with Mark during the 80’s at the local NBC affiliate in Wilkes-Barre. Kitch was the assignment editor and Mark was the chief photographer.

Our reunion with Mark and Maureen was one of several pleasant surprises on this very special day.

The first garden on the tour was a wonderful example of how a gardener can transform a large space between a home and dense woodland into an inviting, interesting and visually attractive enclave with lush flower beds, bird feeders, a playhouse, a patio and a swimming pool. Everything worked together in harmony with the environment. The inclusion of Lamb’s Ear, one of my favorite plants, endeared me to this gardener.

Kitch was very interested in the squirrel-proof birdfeeders. After a brief conversation about the bird feeders, we left the garden. We made our way to the driveway just in time to climb aboard the shuttle bus, and our driver, Benjamin, took us back to the red barn.  

From there we drove about two miles to what only can be described as a wonderland of boulders fashioned into a unique garden.

Floyd Trudgen has a gift. He can take enormous boulders and make them into attractive waterfalls, tables and stone walls. While Floyd is working with heavy equipment, his wife, Cynthia, climbs the staircase to her studio located high above the ground and surrounded by trees. There she makes gentle strokes on canvas to give birth to images of World War II heroes like Leon Flynn, Amish children, and country scenes. Her paintings bring back memories of our yesterdays in ways that touch the heart.  

Without question, this was the most unique garden on the tour.

As we were about to leave, a woman approached us, and she spoke these words, “We have something in common. Dr. Harostock saved our lives. I read your book, and I know all about your open heart surgery.” Christine Siroky is a delightful woman and someone you would want to have as a next door neighbor. We exchanged e-mail addresses, and we promised to stay in touch.

At our next stop we walked the year-old paths of the Shakespeare Garden at Misericordia University. This peaceful and thought-provoking space was the heart and brainchild of our friend Agnes Cardoni.  It is her legacy to the school she loves and the teacher, Sister Regina Kelly, who empowered her to become the outstanding teacher she is.

As we approached the garden we met a charming woman with her granddaughter. She smiled at us, and then she stopped to tell us we had taught her daughter. Our conversation was just getting started when Lisa Lindquist, her mother and her sister approached us.

Standing in the shadow of the Shakespeare garden, we reminisced about our teaching days. We posed for pictures, and we exchanged hugs of admiration and friendship.

It was the most joyful moment of the day.

When we arrive at the garden Mike MacDowell, the president of the university, and his wife Tina were greeting people at the entrance. Local artist, Sue Hand, was recording her vision of the garden on a small canvas supported by her well known brown easel.   

On this Saturday morning, we received a warm greeting from Walter Chamberlain. Walter is a talented designer who worked with Agnes and members of Back Mountain Bloomers to build this garden. It is one of Walter’s favorite projects.    

Before we left the garden we had a good conversation with Barbara Soyka. Barbara is a master gardener who knows everything there is to know about the plants in the garden. She enjoys telling the story of the garden, and she has a new appreciation of this place and its significance.

Like Kitch, Barbara has been walking the long dark gravel road called cancer. They share the same surgeon, Dr. Dan Kopen and the same oncologist, Dr. David Greenwald.

Knowing what I know about this dreadful disease, this moment had meaning beyond words. In a place dedicated to literary genius and teaching excellence, I was watching two modern day heroines whose very presence spoke to the value of life and the struggles people will endure to guarantee life.

To paraphrase the bard, these two women were looking into happiness through the same eyes.

It doesn’t get much better than that.

The next garden on the tour belonged to Charles and Nancy Brown. Located in a rural setting, the owners went out of their way to accommodate their guests. The two teenage boys who served as parking attendants did everything they could to keep traffic moving smoothly in and out of the parking area.

Inside the garden one felt the calm excitement of a garden party. 

In every section of the garden, people congregated in small groups to discuss the attractive setting, the lush perennials, the inviting patio and the pool area.

The rolling lawn and the carefully maintained flower beds added a special beauty to this garden. It reminded me of a 19th century scene from America’s rural past.

Several visitors were attracted to the plant stand, where a bountiful supply of colorful plants was available for purchase.  

Kitch was taken by the brilliant decorations on the patio table.  

This garden reminded me of pictures I had seen in Fine Gardening Magazine. But even in this tranquil place, there was a reminder that life is full of unexpected surprises. Nancy Brown, like Barbara and Kitch, is a cancer survivor.

As we walking toward the parking area, we had a wonderful moment with Karen Brek. We met Karen when we were producing Voices of Wisdom in a World of Change for the Max Rosen Lecture Series. Karen is Atty. Joe Savit’s administrative assistant, and a delightful person who loves her work as a volunteer during the garden tour. 

At the entrance to Peg Yascur’s garden, the fifth stop on the tour, we were greeted by one of our favorite people, master gardener Roseann Nardone. For us, Roseann defines what gardening is all about. She is peaceful, thoughtful, caring, knowledgeable and helpful.

Before we entered Peg’s garden, Roseann described it as a garden of love. Once inside the garden Peg’s daughter, Wendy, provided context for Rosenn’s comment.

The garden is sixteen-years-old. Peg, who is now 80, started the garden shortly after her husband’s death. She converted his vegetable garden into a panorama of 40 perennial plants laid out in the way traditional gardens were designed. Some of the most brilliant Bee Balm I have ever seen resides in Peg’s garden.

Kitch was drawn to Peg. They struck up a conversation and, in no time, they became fast friends. We were so taken with this garden, its gardener and her daughters, late in the afternoon, we made a return visit. Kitch sat with Peg on a bench underneath a tree. They talked about plants, recipes and life. They exchanged contact information, and Peg gave Kitch a jar of her strawberry rhubarb jam. We are looking forward to the day when Peg can visit with us in Windsor Park.

One of the most serendipitous moments of the day happened when a woman appeared out of nowhere to ask us a question about Windsor Park Stories. Her positive comments about the series touched my heart in a very special way. During our conversation, I learned about her association with the Children’s Museum in Bloomsburg. It will definitely be a stop when our granddaughter comes for her fourth Windsor Park Camp next spring.

The last two gardens on the tour are located in neighborhoods. They adorn large, fashionable properties that are very well kept. Garden number six is well established and lush with a mixture of perennials and shrubs. A large pool area is surrounded by perennials.  On this sundrenched July afternoon the pool was host to two swimmers.

When we arrived at this property, we were greeted by a Boy Scout who made a very positive impression with his polite and respectful greeting.

The tour ended at a garden that is emerging. Located in a delightful setting it was designed by the amiable creator of the word “Bodacious,” Rob Rave.  Rob was available to explain the design of the garden and the large waterfall he constructed. It was without question a very impressive water feature.

All in all, it was quite a day for both Kitch and me. We enjoyed the gardens, the people we met and the memories we made during our first weekend out and about since Kitch was diagnosed with breast cancer.

As I was driving home, it occurred to me that in all of our travels searching for the Face of America on its best day, never had we met so many people who fit this description; the members of the Back Mountain Bloomers Garden Club who organize and administrate this wonderful community event, the gardeners, like Peg, who conceptualize, cultivate and nurture these gardens, the volunteers who work long hours to assure that everything runs smoothly and every visitor will have an enjoyable time, the people at Misericordia University who volunteered their magnificent campus and its facilities so there would be a home suitable for the exhibits, the reception, and transportation to the first garden, the people who donated money to help finance the event, and the more than 500 people who purchased tickets for the event.  

There is one person who carried the responsibility for all of these activities, Lisa Lindquist.  She was the chairperson of the event. 

Lisa is a woman with two wonderful gifts, competence and caring.  Kitch and I knew her as a most impressive student who worked days and went to school at nights for almost ten years to earn her college degree.

On this weekend, people who attended the garden tour knew her as a woman who did an exceptional job.

Lisa Lindquist is the person who invited us to the events associated with this year’s garden tour, and we will never forget her kindness to us. By every measure we know, Lisa is a Face of America on its best days, and we are in her debt.

Thank you Lisa for this day of Jubilation.

Please provide feedback to:
tmussari@gmail.com

Father’s Day 2011: A Face of America Commentary

By Tony Mussari
Copyright 2011
Mussari-Loftus Associates, LTD
The Face of America Project
faceofamericawps.com

I saw the Face of America today.  It belonged to a breaker boy from Carbondale, PA.

I saw the Face of America. It was owned by a man who worked on the Delaware & Hudson Rail Road.

I saw the Face of America. It belonged to a man who collected tickets at high school dances and sporting events.

I saw the Face of America. It was smiling, welcoming, optimistic, hopeful and always available.

This Face of America was blue color solid and red white and blue patriotic.

This Face of America painted the walls of the youth center where his children played.

It was not a face of celebrity with fame, fortune or power. These things were not sought or wanted by this Face of America. His concerns were of a more substantial kind. They focused like a laser on the needs of his three children and his wife who were the center of his universe.

He did everything in his power to provide a good home, a good education, a good example, and opportunities for his children he never had himself. He always worked two jobs and many nights of overtime. The extra money he earned helped pay for two college degrees and an RN’s certificate.

This was a man of pleasant surprises like Dixie Cup ice cream from the neighborhood store and weekend trips to a cottage owned by my grandmother along the Susquehanna River in Falls, PA.

He never missed a Sunday church service, and he was a regular at our neighborhood polling station on Election Day.

He never wanted for himself, and he never complained about his fate. The etchings on his face were born of heavy manual labor not excess. He knew what really mattered in life, and he led by example, not words.

He was a wonderful father because he set limits on just about everything but love.

On this father’s day, I will be thinking about the Face of America I was so fortunate to call my father. He taught me the meaning of hard work, love of family, respect for elders, and service to community and country. He taught me that gratitude is the secret to happiness. He taught me to be a helper.

He is so much like the fathers I know who are giving, caring, expecting and nurturing.

Fathers like mine have no national monument.  No buildings or streets are named in their honor, but they are the bedrock of America. Everything we sons have we owe to their sacrifices for us.   

Happy Father’s Day, dad. Thank you for being my hero. You are always in my heart.

Aphorisms for a Cancer Patient and Family

Written by Tony Mussari
Copyright 2011
The Face of America Project
Mussari-Loftus Associates, LTD

It’s Over, Hallelujah. Kitch Loftus-Mussari

The Last Day of Chemo

On June 2, Kitch had her final chemotherapy infusion. It was a moment we will never forget. Like all of the previous visits to Medical Oncology Associates, we were apprehensive and fearful.  With chemotherapy you never know what to expect.  There are so many variables both psychological and physiological.  It is never a pleasant experience for the patient, and it is always an unnerving experience for the caregiver.

During the past six months, we have seen the heartbreaking and painful consequences of cancer.  It is not a pretty sight. It is both humbling and transformational.  

The major tool in the arsenal of oncologists fighting this dreaded disease is chemotherapy.   Our friend, Dr. Richard Loomis, described it with these words: “Chemo is an itinerant intruder. It takes over your body and it tries to take charge of your life. It is barbaric and it has consequences.”

On this the last day of chemo, Kitch and I experienced several family moments. A woman named Kathy who we met at a session in May sat next to Kitch. They exchanged stories about their experiences, and they enjoyed one another’s company.

The woman, who occupied the recliner on the other side of Kitch, asked if the television set at her station was too loud.  When we replied yes, she apologized and immediately turned the volume down. “I appreciate your need for peace and quiet,” she said.

Our special friend arrived and we spend some quality time with her answering questions and filling in the blanks as it were.  We agreed to stay in touch by telephone.

One of the receptionists who has always been considerate and kind offered her best wishes in a genuine and thoughtful way.

When we arrived home, we were greeted by a surprise from my cousin, Kathy, and a beautiful bouquet of flowers from a dear friend of many years, Patricia Brown. My daughter sent a package of cosmos seeds with a note of congratulations, and wonderful cards from my niece and godchild, Teresa, lifted our spirits.

For the rest of the day our home was filled with feelings of accomplishment and relief that are hard to describe. Kitch has every right to be proud of herself.  She had a very heavy and aggressive dose of chemotherapy chemicals to rid her body of any rogue cancer cells.  Now she can say with confidence she is onto the next step in her journey to recovery. After an operation to remove her portacath, and some tests, she will begin six weeks of 30 radiation treatments.

Recently someone asked me how Kitch is doing. I answered the question with these words: “She is a profile in courage.”  If truth be told, every cancer patient we met deserves the same description.

There are many things we learned during the past few months which can best be summarized in these 20 aphorisms of a cancer patient and caregiver.

Aphorisms for a Cancer Patient and Family

1. Don’t let cancer define who you are.

2. Connections matter. The energy from family and friends can light the way to recovery.

3. Forget the “if onlys” in your life. They only bring regret.

4. Focus on the “next times” in your life. They bring hope.

5. Accept the fact that you can’t do everything you want to do, and that’s OK.

6. Make time in your day to laugh, talk, complain, and plan. Laughing at yourself and your fate is liberating.

7. Chemotherapy is difficult, disorienting, debilitating, frightening and an inconvenient experience. It has a “use by” date. It doesn’t last forever, thank God!

8. Don’t preach to patients. They won’t listen.

9. Don’t talk about a positive attitude. Model it.

10. Compassion and caring will make all the difference.

11. An unexpected act of kindness is often the best medicine.

12. Caregivers must be available, and do what needs to be done when it needs to be done.

13. Be patient with yourself and the process.

14. Be vigilant, ask questions, get answers and never give up.

15. Little things mean a lot. Do the little things joyfully.

16. Don’t poke the cage. There are days when the patient wants to be alone.

17. Give yourself time to be angry, frustrated, sad and weary, but don’t lament forever.

18. This is a time when everything in moderation takes on new meaning.

19. Losing your hair is distressing, but other side effects are much worse.

20. No matter how bad you have it, someone has it much worse. Gratitude always saves the day.

During our dark moments of disappointment, depression, fear and uncertainty, we were rescued by people who took the time to help, to encourage, to do the unexpected, and to lighten our burden.

Terry Tempest Williams spoke words that say it all: “An individual doesn’t get cancer, a family does.”

To everyone who volunteered to be a part of our family, who understood our need for privacy, who found a way to connect and help us without intruding, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts. You are our heroes, and we will never forget you.

Until the next time, we hope that all of your stories have happy endings.

Tony & Kitch Mussari

Please provide feedback to tmussari@gmail.com

 

 

 

25 Aphorisms for Life from Our Face of America Journey

Written by Tony Mussari
Photographs by Eugene Flood and 
Kitch Loftus-Mussari
Copyright 2011
The Face of America Project
Mussari-Loftus Associates, LTD

Life is short…opportunities fleeting, experience deceptive, judgment difficult. Hippocrates

Graduation 2011

On June 22, students in the senior class at North Plainfield High School will received their diplomas, and begin their journey into the uncharted waters of life.

During the past two years, Kitch and I have worked with several of the members of this class at the high school and on the road in Philadelphia and Shanksville, PA. We attended Friday night football games and awards banquets.  We listened to their music in two different concerts. We visited their classrooms, and we screened a documentary about their visit to Shanksville in the rain.

We know them, their parents and their teachers, and we are very fond of these young men and women. For us they represent the Face of America’s tomorrow today.

For the past few days, we have been thinking about their graduation, and we decided to give them a gift that we hope will help them during the next stage of their journey. It is a summary of things we learned during our lifetime and during our recent road trip across America.

Aphorisms for Life

1. The most effective antibiotic for the things that trouble you is hope.

2. If you want to get better at something, hang out with people who will lift you up.

3. Always be positive.  It is good for your heart and your health.

4. Expect the unexpected. The most important road sign on the road of life is “Stuff Happens.”

5. The most important tool in your toolbox is common sense.

6. Happiness is found in giving to others.

7. Love is what you give away, not what you take.

8. You don’t find friendship on a wall; you find it in a caring heart and soul.

9. Not every acquaintance becomes a friendship, and not every friendship lasts forever.

10. The love of money is the root of all evil, and there is some money that “ain’t worth making.”

11. Work is more important than play, but work without play is misery.

12. You don’t learn everything in school. You learn some of the most important lessons during the moment of your greatest failure.

13. Blaming your parents for your disappointments is an easy way out, but it will never help you figure out your problems.

14. Don’t fall in love with an institution. It will break your heart and leave you standing alone.

15. The two most important words in any language are thank you. Use them often, and use them with the sincerity of a caring heart.

16. Before you can do it, you must be able to dream it. Dream often.

17. If you want to feel good about yourself, live a life of dedication, integrity and humility.

18. The most important secret to success is: “There is no easy way.”

19. If you want to have peace of mind, make time to disconnect, disengage and decompress. Push the off button frequently.

20. When you come to a fork in the road where you have more questions than answers, you have reached a destination called maturity.

21. Failure is the mother of discovery.

22. Being different is totally American. It comes with a constitutional guarantee.

23. Fear is the friend of the wise.  It trumps overconfidence every time.

24. Imagination is the morning star of creativity.

25. America is the home of opportunity, and diversity is the crown jewel of our democracy.

During the dark moments of disappointment, depression, fear and uncertainty, remember the words of your classmates:

“No matter what, we’ll always be there to catch you.” Monica Ramirez

“Life isn’t like a perfect piece of paper. It’s crumpled. There are wrinkles that represent the ups and downs of life. But that’s where the beauty lies in the wrinkles themselves…Don’t regret the mistakes…Regret won’t change the past, just get up and keep going.” Guedis Cardenas, president of the senior class.

During the bright moments of success, happiness and joy, remember the words of Nataya Johnson:

"When I help others, I feel good about myself."

On this glorious day of beginnings, Kitch and I salute you.  We will never forget you. Our wish for you is best expressed in these seven words. “May good fortune always be your friend.”

Please provide feedback to tmussari@gmail.com

 

 

The Face of America: Mechelle Lewis, Moving Beyond Your Now

By Tony Mussari & Kitch Loftus-Mussari
Copyright Mussari-Loftus Associates, 2011

I saw the Face of America today. It belonged to woman whose eyes looked deep into my soul.

I saw the Face of America today.  It belonged to a woman whose words spoke to adversity accepted and challenges met.

I saw the Face of America today. It was competent in all the ways that matter, kind in all the ways that help, and caring in all the ways that build bridges to a better tomorrow.

This Face of America knows the pain of disappointment, the anxiety of rejection, and the ecstasy of accomplishment.

This Face of America risked her future on a dream of becoming an Olympian. When the dream became a reality, she represented her country with dignity, class and distinction.

On the day of our meeting, she wasn’t competing. She wasn’t training. She was sharing her story with a room full of people who were determined to honor the legacy of 2d Lt. Emily Perez, the first Black/Hispanic honors graduate of West Point to lose her life in Iraq. They came together to help young women who want to follow Emily’s Way to a better life of service, success and substance.

On this February night at the Army Navy Club in Arlington, Virginia, Mechelle Lewis shared her message of self improvement with these words:

You must move beyond where you are.

If you want to get better at anything surround yourself with the best, a mentor, someone who has done it before.

Rely on emotions and you will experience insecurity.

Rely on faith and you will open the door to miracles. Faith is an action word.

Everything in your now that doesn’t make sense will one day. The question is, “Do you have the strength to keep moving forward?”

See yourself beyond where you are now. See yourself where you want to be. With sacrifice, heart, excellence, and resilience, you can get there.

You can be anybody. You can do anything. It really happened for me. It can really happen for you to.

When Mechelle Lewis finished her speech, she received an enthusiastic and well deserved response from everyone in the room.

I saw the Face of America today in the shadow of our nation’s capital. It was red white and blue and animated by a heart of gold, not Olympic Gold but the gold of compassion, hope, integrity and resilience.

This is a Face of America I will never forget because it made me proud to be an American and grateful to be in the presence of a woman who does America proud every day of her life.

How could it be any different when Mechelle Lewis and Emily Perez stand together to honor America and offer a helping hand to high school students who are learning, growing and experiencing the light of opportunity in the Emily’s Way mentoring program?

Now that’s a beautiful thought for any day.

Please provide feedback to:

faceofamericawps@gmail.com

Flight of Valor: a Poignant Face of America Moment in North Plainfield, New Jersey

By Tony Mussari
Copyright 2011
The Face of America Project
Mussari-Loftus Associates, LTD

Music is the medicine of the breaking heart. Leigh Hunt

North Plainfield High School

Some of the most priceless memories of our Face of America journey are deeply rooted in the high school in North Plainfield, New Jersey. This is the place where Kitch and I first discovered the Face of America’s tomorrow today.  It’s the place where the seeds of our project germinated. It’s a place where good things are happening for students, teachers, parents and administrators who reap the benefits of diversity.

In many ways, going to North Plainfield is like going home. It happened again this week when I visited the high school to interview students for a documentary we will screen in Shanksville later this year.

The visit was suggested by Tom Mazur, Supervisor of Fine, Practical and Performing Arts. Tom invited me to attend the spring concert. When I was told the concert band under the direction of Heather Fencik would play Flight of Valor, James Swearingen’s inspirational composition dedicated to the Heroes of Flight 93, I requested permission to record the event.

As has always been the case, everyone at the high school who was involved in arranging my visit did what had to be done to create a welcoming environment. Skip Pulcrano, the coach of the North Plainfield cheerleaders, went out of his way to make this location shoot a success.

Prior to the concert I interviewed four students and one teacher from North Plainfield, and a mother and her daughter from Point Pleasant, New Jersey.

Yamna Anwar is one of North Plainfield’s most accomplished students. Recently she distinguished herself with a perfect score on the state mandated test for juniors. During our conversation she shared her thoughts about America and her dream of becoming a medical doctor.

Maximiliano Torres is a member of the wrestling team, and the owner of a golden voice.  Kitch and I were taken by his rendition of God Bless America, prior to our screening of Visiting Shanksville in the Rain. During our conversation he spoke passionately about his love for America.

Guedis Cardenas is president of the senior class, and a member of the tennis team. He is a cheerleader who commands the respect of everyone on the squad. Sitting in front of the Healing Field Flag of Honor, he talked about the things he learned during his visit to Shanksville. Three days after our interview Guedis was selected as the outstanding male cheerleader in the country at a national competition in North Carolina.

Amber Henderson and her fifth grade teacher, Megan Hendrickson, shared their story of rescue, hope, inspiration and friendship.

Anna Norcia and her mother, Marie, talked about their visits to Shanksville with Skip Pulcrano when he was a teacher in Point Pleasant, New Jersey. That is where this marvelous public service tradition started. All these years later, it has been developed to its highest potential in North Plainfield.

As you can well imagine, these wonderful and uplifting stories added a special dimension to our Face of America project.

The Back Story

A few moments before the concert began, I read an interesting comment in the program. It told everyone in attendance that the composer of Flight of Valor drew upon a well-known hymn, It Is Well with My Soul. That piqued my curiosity, and I made a mental note to check out the back story to the music.

When the appointed moment arrived for the performance, I was located high above the stage in a control room where I could get a good shot of the concert band and audio to match.

The students performed Flight of Valor with dignity and class. It had all of the emotion, intensity and inspiration associated with this very special composition. Without question, Flight of Valor was the high point of the concert.

You can watch our production of Flight of Valor at this address:

http://faceofamericawps.com/video/flight-of-valor/

On my way home, I thought about the back story, and as soon as I reached a computer I began my search for information about It Is Well with My Soul.  What I discovered is heart wrenching and inspirational.

Horatio G. Spafford, Jr., was a prominent Chicago lawyer. He and his wife, Anna, were the parents of four girls: Annie, Maggie, Bessie and Tanetta. In 1870, their only son was killed by Scarlett Fever.  In 1871, they lost all of their real estate properties in the Chicago fire. In 1873, they lost their four daughters in an accident at sea.

Spafford learned about the tragedy in a telegram from his wife.  It read” “Saved alone. What Shall I do?”

After the telegram arrived, Spafford left for England to join his wife.  He wrote the lyrics for It Is Well with My Soul shortly after the ship that was taking him to England passed the spot where the accident occurred. The opening stanza summarizes his feelings and speaks to his great faith:

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Many believe It Is Well with My Soul is one of the most comforting Christian hymns. It speaks to faith and hope in the face of unimaginable pain and sorrow. It is the perfect model for Flight of Valor which celebrates the courage, determination, heroism and patriotism of the passengers and crew of United Flight 93. On May 17, the North Plainfield Concert Band captured all of the emotions expressed in Spafford’s hymn and Swearingen’s composition. It was an extraordinary Face of America moment and a proud memory for everyone in North Plainfield, New Jersey.

On this Memorial Day weekend it is well for our soul to remember all those who lost their lives on September 11, 2001, and the 1,007,448 men and women who have given their lives for our country since 1775. They are the face of American freedom. Their courage, honor, sacrifice and valor must never be forgotten. They paid the price for our freedom, and we are in their debt.

Tony & Kitch Mussari

 

 

 

Living Prayers, Celebrations and Mother’s Day 2011

By Tony Mussari
Copyright 2011
The Face of America Project
Mussari-Loftus Associates, LTD

The worst thing in your life may contain the seed of the best. Joe Kogel

Kitch’s Journey: Pleasant Surprises

On Thursday Kitch had her second 280 mg Taxel treatment, and we had an eye opening experience that will remain in our hearts forever.

To be perfectly honest, Kitch dreads going for chemotherapy. She fears the needles, the chemicals and the consequences of the drugs. Two days before the appointment you can see the dread in her eyes.

Nevertheless, she does not complain, and she musters all the positive energy she has to handle the situation with calm acceptance, courage and dignity.

Several friends old and new, some of our relatives like my daughter, my sister, my niece Theresa from Maryland and my cousin Kathy and her daughter  Susan from New York, help us get ready for the inevitable with encouraging  notes, calls and acts of kindness.

Friends we made in North Plainfield, New Jersey and at Fox Chase in Philadelphia are always there for us with positive words and helpful suggestions.

Two breast cancer survivors who we have never met, Pat and Kathy write thoughtful notes and our friends Janie, Jayne and Chuck from Shanksville, and Bill from Orwigsburg are there for us in meaningful ways.

Our friends Julie from California and Marilyn from Dallas and Tulsa respectfully, and Elisa from Long Island have been nothing short of inspirational in what they have done and continue to  do to lift our spirits.

Our friend Bob from Portland has shared every phase of his wife’s experience  with us so we can be prepared for every eventuality.

Ann Marie, the mother of one of our formers students, has been very kind and  very helpful in all the ways that matter.

Our Neighbor Theresa, has baked delicious German pastry for Kitch, and another  neighbor who is dealing with a life threatening illness brought her daughter  and her grandchildren to the garden on one of the few sunny days of this otherwise  damp, dark, and very wet spring.

Nothing brings hope like the innocence of a child, and these children are wonderful in the questions they ask about the garden, the fish and the frog.

Marlene from Ashley and Gerry from Delaware baked the most delicious Irish  Soda Bread we have ever eaten.

Dr. Richard Loomis, my former teacher and chemotherapy patient, is sharing  his experience and showering Kitch with prayers for recovery.

If you ask kitch to describe these people, she will tell you they are the Face of America on its best day, and we are the beneficiaries of their kindness.

Living Prayers

There is no way we can repay these people and many others whose names we have not mentioned in this newsletter, but there is a way we can follow their example, and that is what we try to do.

Yesterday while Kitch was sleeping during the last phase of her treatment, I talked with one of the cancer patients who has been friendly to us. She is an older woman who is always alone.  Her only  companion is her walker. During our conversation she began to cry. She is suffering mightily, and she is in a very difficult circumstance. She needs additional medical care for the Neuropathy that has swelled her feet and her left arm, but she is reluctant to make additional appointments because her son works at night and he sleeps most of the day.

This is not a woman of wealth or connections. She is a widow living on a social security income who is waging her second battle against breast cancer. The painful and haunting look on her face touched my heart, and I promised her I would do something to help.

During her daily telephone call I mentioned the situation to Ellen Mondlak, our lifetime friend and cancer patient. Ellen connected me with a wonderful woman we met during the production of Windsor Park Stories, Brenda Lispi. Brenda works for the bureau of the aging. The result of these conversations was positive. 

Last evening, I called our fellow traveler on the dark gravel road, and I gave her the telephone numbers of the organizations that will help her find a  solution to her problem. The pain on her face enabled us to do something I learned in grade school at St. Mary’s. “When you can’t say a prayer, live the prayer with a kind deed or a thoughtful gesture.” To be honest, I have found living prayers to be the best prayers.

To everyone who has been kind to Kitch during her walk along the dark gravel road called cancer, this prayer was for you.

Two Wonderful Events

Last Sunday, Our Face of America Journey took me Misericordia University in the morning, Wilkes University at night.

Scholarship recognition day at Misericordia is always a special event, and this year was no exception. In fact, it was extra special for me because the new director of development, Jim Bebla, is a former student of mine.  

Jim is a wonderful person and a consummate professional with a heart of gold. There is nothing more gratifying than watching a former student equal and surpass the teacher.

Congratulations Jim and best wishes for success.

Misericordia will always have a special place in my heart, and I know Kitch feels the very same way. We have only pleasant memories of the Sisters of Mercy and the members of the administration and staff. Dr. Michael MacDowell has been a very effective leader. He and the members of his faculty and staff have created innovative programs like the Women with Children Program that serve the needs of students who want to make a better life for themselves and their  children.

Jane Dessoye, Executive Director of Enrollment Management, summarized the event and the philosophy of a Misericordia education with the words of a confederate soldier Albert Pike:

"What we have done for ourselves dies with us; what we have done for others and the world, remains and is immortal.”

At the end of this visit, I took a picture that speaks to the essence of Misericordia. It reinforced something Jim said in his speech, “This scholarship brunch holds special meaning for all of us because it celebrates the wonderful caring spirit that is at the heart of the mission of the Sisters of Mercy.  And today, in this room, you can feel this joyous spirit that makes Misericordia so special.”  

Our evening at Wilkes University was a celebration of the 30th Anniversary of the Max Rosenn Lecture in Law and Humanities.  It was quite an evening for a very dear friend, Joe Savitz. Joe is affectionately known as the “First Law Clerk,” and everyone went out of their way to affirm and congratulate Joe on the work he has done to make the lecture series a success.

I was fortunate to capture one of the high points of the night for Joe, a reunion with Dr. Mollie Marti. Mollie has written a book about Judge Rosenn.  It is titled Walking with Justice. It will be published in January. This picture captures the moment when Mollie showed Joe a picture of the copy of the book cover. I think the facial expressions speak louder than any words I can write.

Congratulations Joe, you are a wonderful friend.

Congratulations, Mollie. I hope Walking with Justice is a huge success.

Writing Again

Speaking about books, after a two month hiatus while I devoted all of my time to Kitch’s needs, I started to write again this week. At the moment I am preparing material for our agent, and refining some of the chapters in the book about our Face of America Journey.

Writing is a very demanding master.  One must have patience, persistence, time and a quiet place to concentrate. In so many ways, it is an insecure and tedious process that involves writing and rewriting. On the days when the words just won’t come I spend time cleaning up our garden.

Like writing, gardening it is challenging, creative and humbling.

Happy Mother’s Day

Sunday will be the 103d time America celebrates Mother’s Day. Thanks to the determination of Anna Jarvis and her devotion to her mother, this holiday has become the second most successful commercial  holiday in America. That is not what Anna Jarvis intended it to be.

The first Mother’s Day was a day of prayer, and a celebration of peace and the virtues of motherhood.  It took place at the Andrews Methodist Church in Grafton, West Virginia.  Today this church is a central part of the International Mother’s Day Shrine in Grafton.

On Mother’s day, Kitch and I will be thinking about the many sacrifices our mothers made for us.  We will follow Anna Jarvis lead and give thanks for the blessings of our mothers.

We will remember the words of our greatest President:

I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life.

A mother understands what a child does not say.

I regard no man as poor who has a godly mother.

All I am or hope to be, I owe to my angel; mother. Abraham Lincoln

May your Mother’s Day and every day be blessed with peace, good will and good health.

Tony & Kitch

This article was originally distributed as our Face of America Journey Newsletter for May.  

Please provide feedback to tmussari@gmail.com

Eileen Burns and Ellen Mondlak: A Face of America on its Best Day

Anthony J. Mussari, Ph.D.
Producer
The Face of America Project
Copyright Mussari-Loftus Associates, 2011

I saw the Face of America on this fine evening in Pittston, Pennsylvania. It belonged to two women who gave of themselves in the best interest of their community.

These are women who were born and raised in the place they call home. They are not rich or famous in the ways of the world. They are not celebrities. They are not household names. They are much more important than any of those popular terms. What they have done during their lifetime has touched the lives of thousands of people in positive, productive, endearing and quiet ways.

These two women have led exemplary lives of service to family, church and community.  

They always see opportunities for improvement and growth, and they make the most of the opportunities they see.

They were educated at local colleges and employed in local schools. For them, education is the portal to a life of success in all the ways that matter.

When they were in the classroom, they opened doors to students who to this day celebrate their goodness.

When they were asked to help their community, they willingly accepted the call, and they lived a life of service to others not themselves.

On this night, they received the praise of a grateful community. It was a celebration of two women who reflect the Face of America on its best day.

Listening to their accomplishments was like listening to a check list of what America is on its best days. It recorded a life of learning, teaching, sharing, helping and doing business in an honest and equitable way.

These two women exhibit a sense of belonging that is central to America on its best day. They are welcoming, kind, compassionate and determined to make a positive mark on the ledger of Pittston’s history.

They did it without noise or notice.

Because of their service to the Pittston Memorial Library, thousands of people, young and old, have access to a modern facility with services that accommodate the needs of the mind and the heart.

Yes, they were part of the renaissance of the Pittston Memorial Library, but it is more than the beautiful building they helped come to life. It is the welcoming spirit and the symbolism of this place where people gather as if it were an extension of their living room. 

On this night, they were honored for years of dedicated service to the Pittston Memorial library, and everyone who gathered in the Mt. Carmel Parish Center saw a beautiful Face of America. It belonged to Eileen Burns and Ellen Mondlak. These women share much in common. They are wives, mothers, teachers, leaders, and pathfinders for positive change in the community they love.

The legacy of their Face of America was best described by Albert Einstein: Only a life lived in the service of others is worth living.

Thank you Eileen Burns and Ellen Mondlak, you have made a lasting mark in our little corner of the world.  You deserve the Jean Yates Award, because your Face of America is an example of what America is all about on its best day, and for that we are eternally in your debt.

tmussari@gmail.com, faceofamericawps.com