A July 4th Moment

Written by Tony Mussari
Edited by Kitch Loftus-Mussari
Producers
Walking into the Light at Gettysburg
Copyright 2013
The Face of America Project
Mussari-Loftus Associates, LTD

In the quiet of the early morning hours of America’s birthday, I asked myself this question, “What is America?”

At first glance, it seems like a no brainer. It’s short and to the point.  The answer, however, is complicated, at times contradictory, elusive and almost without an answer, if you consider the reality that every generation must answer the question during times of conflict and disagreement about its resolution.

America is a dream for many, an idea for others, an illusion for some and a spirit that demands diligence, determination and dedication to maintain.  It’s about guaranteeing the blessings of liberty and equality for all who live here.

Yes, that’s it, you say. 

Not so.

America is not about license to do whatever one wants without regard for the rights of others, and that’s where the complications begin. Guaranteeing and protecting the rights of minorities, the dispossessed, the people who lack power and a voice to make things happen is a never-ending challenge. It took five brutal, blood-stained years of civil war to address that issue, and every year that followed Gettysburg and Appomattox to adjust the attitudes and refine the laws that will make it happen.

During one of his debates with Stephen Douglas, Abraham Lincoln summarized the issue for his time with these words:

Our republican robe is soiled, and trailed in the dust. Let us repurify it. Let us turn and wash it white, in the spirit, if not the blood, of the Revolution. Let us turn slavery from its claims of “moral right,” back upon its existing legal rights, and its arguments of “necessity.” Let us return it to the position our fathers gave it; and there let it rest in peace. Let us re-adopt the Declaration of Independence, and with it, the practices, and policy, which harmonize with it. Let north and south—let all Americans  —let all lovers of liberty everywhere—join in the great and good work. If we do this, we shall not only have saved the Union; but we shall have so saved it, as to make, and to keep it, forever worthy of the saving. We shall have so saved it, that the succeeding millions of free happy people, the world over, shall rise up, and call us blessed, to the latest generations.

Today we are those people President Lincoln called blessed, and we are beset with problems different in name but equally important to our future:

A large and growing class of people and children living in poverty;

An increasing and very alarming inability to find the common ground of consensus;

A decreasing number of high school graduates;

A greatly diminished trust in government at all levels;

A deterioration of interpersonal communication which leads to a lack of humanism in all walks of life;

An all-time record high in narcissism and lack of civility.

There are others, but I think you get the picture.

Our founders set the tone of our country with these words in the second paragraph of The Declaration of Independence:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.—

Our national contract begins with these words:

We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blesings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United states of America.

In both instances the pronoun is we.

The American spirit is deeply rooted in the “We” not the “I”. it is nourished with selfless service. We will only prosper if our national painting includes everyone, not just a few. We will only grow and develop in proportion to every one’s growth and development.

On this our national birthday, Kitch and I took a few moments to reflect on the words of a few of our leaders. Their priceless insights helped us better understand, what America is on its best day.

“This country will not be a good place for any of us to live in unless we make it a good place for all of us to live in.”   Theodore Roosevelt

“The mission of the United States is one of benevolent assimilation.” William McKinley

“Remember, remember always, that all of us, and you and I especially, are descended from immigrants and revolutionists.”  Franklin D. Roosevelt

“Anyone in any walk of life who is content with mediocrity is untrue to himself and to American tradition.”  George S. Patton, Jr.

“A nation which does not remember what it was yesterday, does not know what it is today, nor what it is trying to do. We are trying to do a futile thing if we do not know where we came from or what we have been about.” Woodrow Wilson

An American is one who loves justice and believes in the dignity of man. An American is one who will fight for his freedom and that of his neighbor. An American is one who will sacrifice property, ease and security in order that he and his children may retain the rights of free men. An American is one in whose heart is engraved the immortal second sentence of the Declaration of Independence.”  Harold Ickes

Happy Birthday America

(Historical images from the Library of Congress Prints & Photographs Division)

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Father’s Day 2013: An American Dad

Written by Tony Mussari
Edited by Kitch Loftus-Mussari
Copyright 2013
Mussari-Loftus Associates, LTD
The Face of America Project
faceofamericawps.com

One father is more than one hundred schoolmasters. George Herbert

For the past few days, I have been thinking about my dad. He was and is a powerful influence in my life.

My father wasn’t rich, famous or powerful.  Like his father he worked on the railroad, a job he loved.

He was a good, decent and honorable man. He lived a quiet life close to home doing what he had to do to care for his wife and three children.  His world was centered in his family, his church and his work.

He was a quiet, unimposing man who expected little and gave much. His most attractive feature was a beautiful smile that radiated goodness.

His greatest accomplishment was a lifetime of sacrifice so that my brother, my sister and I could get an education.

The most defining moment I had with my father happened about a month before he died. While he and my mother were visiting the University of Iowa campus, he took me aside, and he shared these words, “I didn’t graduate from high school, but what you, your brother and sister have accomplished, I feel like I graduated from college.”

To honor his memory on Father’s Day, I would like to share my fondest recollections of my dad.

1. He was kind. He lived the words of William Wordsworth:

That best portion of a good man’s life; His little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love.

2. He was industrious. He knew and practiced Edison’s three principles for success:

The three great essentials to achieve anything worthwhile are, first, hard work; second, stick-to-itiveness; third, common sense.”

3. He loved my mother. In so doing, he modeled the words of Thomas Carlyle;

The soul gives unity to what it looks at with love.

4. He was a great conversationalist. He knew the value of Montaigne’s maxim:

The most fruitful and natural exercise for our minds is, in my opinion, conversation.

5. He was talented. He modeled the three rules of John Wooden for my brother, my sister and me in everything he did:

Talent is God given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be grateful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful.

6. He had a beautiful smile. Byron’s words best describe my dad’s smile:

Be thou the rainbow in the storms of life.

Be the evening beam that smiles the clouds away, and tints tomorrow with prophetic ray.

7. He sacrificed everything for the three children he loved. He agreed with Henry Ward Beecher:

It is not what we take up, but what we give up, that makes us rich.

8. He never complained. He lived his life for his family and he taught us by example the importance of Einstein’s advice about life:

Only a life lived for others is a life worth living.

9. He personified humility and respect. The words of Laurence Sterne and Robert G. Ingersoll describe to my father:

Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners.

He stands erect by bending over the fallen. He rises by lifting others.

10. He knew what was important in life. His life gives truth to the words of Robert Louis Stevenson:

To be rich in admiration and free from envy, to rejoice greatly in the good of others, to love with such generosity of heart that your love is still a dear possession in absence or unkindness – these are the gifts which money cannot buy.

On this Father’s Day, I will follow the advice of Anne Sexton who wrote these words about her father:

It doesn’t matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was.

As I connect with my father in the mirror of my memory, I will thank him for everything he did to give me the opportunities I have had in life. 

I will tell him again as I told him the day he crossed over to the other side and every day since, “I love you,” and I will rephrase the words of Helen Keller to celebrate the man who gave me help, guidance, discipline and the desire to make him proud of his son:

Whatever I have made of my life, it happened because I learned from you to accomplish humble tasks as though they were great and noble. You moved the world along for Ken, Mary Claire and me, not by mighty shoves, but by the tiny pushes of an honest worker, a devoted husband and a great father.

You and all the fathers like you have painted a magnificent picture of the Face of America on its best day, and we, your sons and daughters, are in your debt.

Happy Father’s Day

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A Letter to a High School Graduate 2013

Written by Tony Mussari
Edited by Kitch Loftus-Mussari
Copyright 2013
Mussari-Loftus Associates
The Face of America Project
faceofamericawps.com

Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome. Booker T. Washington

Context

Several events got me thinking about life, love, learning and the bumps we encounter on the road of life:

An invitation to the 50th anniversary celebration of my college graduation and a delightful visit with Jen Davis, a former student, who returned for her 20th class reunion;

A telephone conversation I had with one of my college classmates, Pat Mulloy;

Pat was one of the brightest and hardest working students in our class. Pat spent a lifetime in the state department and on Capitol Hill. At one point in his life, he was an Assistant Secretary of Commerce.

A visit with John Sullivan; John was a pathfinding high school principal. He founded the Empire State Supervisor and Administrators Association. John and I were friends in college, and we have been reunited in ways of the heart and soul.

A freak accident that resulted in a broken bone in the lumbar region of Tom Mazur’s back. Tom is the Director of Arts in the North Plainfield School District in New Jersey. He literally put our “Gettysburg Family” together.

An invitation to a high school graduation party at the home of our friend Dr. Mollie Marti in Iowa;

Mollie was very kind to us during our Face of America Journey. Mollie’s first born, Nate, is a member of the class of 2013. Unfortunately, we could not attend the party.

The announcement of the June 7th graduation ceremony at our local high school;  Olivia Sod, one of the members of that class, had her senior picture taken in our garden.  Her father was one of my former students.

Both Pat and John were very interested in the work Kitch and I have been doing in Gettysburg.

The visits and the telephone call caused me to think about some of the things we learned during the production of our documentary, Walking into the Light at Gettysburg.

The bottom line here is simple. Life is full of surprises some pleasant, others not. As we get older, we realize that everything we experience in life is just another opportunity to learn and grow in ways that will make us and our world a better place.

Teaching students how to be resilient was the primary intent of our Gettysburg Project which involved students and teachers in the North Plainfield School District.

To close the circle on this project, I decided to spend some time thinking about the most important lessons I learned about life and its unexpected twists and turns from two of the main characters in Walking into the Light at Gettysburg.

The way I see it, this will be a unique and lasting gift to Nate, Olivia and the students from North Plainfield who are featured in the documentary.  

I hope it has special meaning for David Havrilla a member of our “Gettysburg Family.” On June 20th he will graduate from North Plainfield High School.

I hope what is written in this letter will resonate with these students, not just today, but at various times during their lives when they are challenged by the bumps in the road they will encounter.

The authors of these words of wisdom were challenged in ways we cannot fully appreciate during the most difficult time in our history. Today, Abraham Lincoln is considered by many to be our greatest president. Robert E. Lee is legendary in all things military and educational.

In my opinion, the word that best describes Lincoln is magnanimity.  Lee is remembered for his commitment to reconciliation after the Civil War and the code for gentlemen he established as a college president.

To celebrate graduation 2013, I would like to share a few of their inspirational and life-transforming thoughts.

I wish someone had shared these thoughts with me when I was a teenager.

Life Lessons

1. Be honest with yourself and others

Live your life in a way that will inspire someone to write or say these words of
Abraham Lincoln about you:

In very truth he was the noblest work of God – an honest man.

2. Be Candid and Courageous

Robert E. Lee said two very important things about living a successful life. They are easy to read, but very difficult to practice:

You must study to be frank with the world: frankness is the child of honesty and courage.

Say just what you mean to do on every occasion, and take it for granted that you mean to do right.

3. Cultivate Friendships

Abraham Lincoln was very aware of the importance of friends.

The better part of one’s life consists of his friendships…If we have no friends, we
have no pleasure. Abraham Lincoln

Robert E. Lee added an important and life-saving caution.

Never do a wrong thing to make a friend or keep one. Robert E. Lee

4. Always Be Kind

If you follow the advice of Lincoln and Lee, you will scatter kindness wherever you go.

It is an old and a true maxim that a drop of honey catches more flies than gallon of gall. Abraham Lincoln

Treat all people in a simple, unpretentious manner. Robert E. Lee

5. Don’t Be Afraid of Success or Failure

Too often, fear of failure prevents people from doing things that will help them develop and grow.  Lincoln and Lee put failure in perspective with these words.

I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live by the light that I have. Abraham Lincoln

We failed, but in the good providence of God apparent failure often proves a blessing.  Robert E. Lee

6. Do Your Very Best

The pursuit of excellence was central to everything Lincoln and Lee did in their in
lifetime.  They used these words to encourage people to reach up for the highest
edition of themselves.

Every man is proud of what he does well; and no man is proud of what he does not do
well.  With the former, his heart is in his work; and he will do twice as much of it with
less fatigue. The latter performs a little imperfectly, looks at it in disgust, turns from it,
and imagines himself exceedingly tired. The little he has done, comes to nothing
for want of finishing.  Abraham Lincoln

The education of a man is never completed until he dies. Robert E. Lee

7.  Be Magnanimous

There was nothing petty, resentful or vindictive about Abraham Lincoln. He was generous, forgiving and high-minded to friends and critics alike.

May the Almighty grant that the cause of truth, justice, and humanity, shall in no wise suffer at my hands… Abraham Lincoln

My trust is in the mercy and wisdom of a kind Providence, who ordereth all things for our good. Robert E. Lee

I can only say that I have acted upon my best convictions without selfishness or malice, and that by the help of God, I shall continue to do so. Abraham Lincoln

The gentleman… cannot only forgive, he can forget; and he strives for that nobleness of self and mildness of character which impart sufficient strength to let the past be but the past.  Robert E. Lee

8. Be Disciplined… Control Your Impulses

In a world of constant distractions, we would be well advised to pay attention to the advice offered by Lincoln and Lee.

I cannot trust a man to control others who cannot control himself.  Robert E. Lee

Quarrel not at all. No man resolved to make the most of himself, can spare time for personal contention. Still less can he afford to take all the consequences, including the vitiating of his temper, and the loss of self-control.  Abraham Lincoln

9. Be Flexible

Everyone makes mistakes. The wise person admits the mistake and learns from it.

I shall try to correct errors when shown to be errors; and I shall adopt new views so fast as they shall appear to be true views. Abraham Lincoln

10. Be Grateful

Abraham Lincoln was a gratitude person long before that term became fashionable. In this quotation, he tells us that gratitude to family, country and posterity is a requirement not an option.

This task of gratitude to our fathers, justice to ourselves, duty to posterity, and love for our species in general, all imperatively require us faithfully to perform.

What are the qualities Lincoln admired in others?

I am not a Lincoln Scholar. I am an unabashed student of all things Lincoln.  On my good days I try to model his attitude and behavior whenever I encounter problems. On my bad days, I remind myself of the healing and hopeful lessons that constitute his legacy.

From what I have read about Abraham Lincoln, the boy, the man and the president, these are some of the things he admired in the people he knew, liked and trusted:

1. Sober and steady judgment;

2. Level headedness;

3. Absence of fear;

4. Inner strength;

5. Loyalty;

6. Kindness;

7. Compassion;

8. Gratitude;

9. Duty/responsibility;

10. Humility;

11. Dependability;

12. Perseverance.

In every instance, these are characteristics one finds in Abraham Lincoln. There are others, but if you build the foundation of your private and public life on these you will be able to deal with whatever life gives you. You will be humble in the endorphin-filled moments of accomplishment, and you will be magnanimous in the lonesome moments of failure.

As you make your way through life, no one can guarantee you success and freedom from pain.  In fact, I recently heard a very wise man, Congressman John Dingell, say, “Getting hurt is an important part of the learning process.”

The wisdom of Lincoln and Lee will help you realize what Samuel Johnson called “the supreme end of education- the power to tell the good from the bad, the genuine from the counterfeit, and to prefer the genuine to the bad and the counterfeit.”

To every teacher, administrator, aide, bus driver, member of the support staff, school board member, parent and grandparent who helped make this day happen for the graduating seniors all over America, we express our congratulations and gratitude for a job well done.

To the students who walked on the stage to accept their diplomas, we salute you as the hope and promise of America’s tomorrow.

Kitch and I pray that Providence will bless you with good health and good fortune all the days of your life.

Sincerely,

Kitch & Tony Mussari

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Thinking about America on Memorial Day

Written by Tony Mussari
Edited by Kitch Loftus-Mussari
Copyright 2013
Mussari-Loftus Associates, LTD
The Face of America Project
faceofamericawps.com

I would rather try something great and fail than try nothing and succeed. John Maxwell

Last week while Kitch and her cousin, Jeanna Lawrence, visited cemeteries in Lackawanna County, I made my way to three cemeteries in Luzerne County to pay my respects to  my parents, my teacher, my grandmother and two of the finest men I have ever known, Jack Edwards and Andy Sokol.

Standing in the silence of remembering, my heart swelled with thoughts of gratitude for the sacrifices these people made to make a better life for their children, their community and their country.

My grandmother immigrated to America. She built a successful business in a small neighborhood store. She raised her family and she provided an excellent example of why people risked everything to come to America.  She was a small woman in stature, but she had a mighty influence on everyone who met her.

My parents were first generation Americans. Their life was lived quietly, patriotically and lovingly for their three children. They were good, decent, caring people of deep religious faith and industry. My brother, sister and I have what we have because they encouraged us to do our very best at whatever we were doing and to never give up. For them perseverance was the secret to success. They never gave up on us, and we never turned away from an opportunity to make them proud of us.

Their motto was simple and direct: work hard, be humble, get a good education, don’t settle for being adequate, strive to be the best, and give something back to your family, your friends and your community.

My teacher, Sr. Mary Hilary, R.S.M., reminded me of my mother.  She too was small in stature. In everything else, she was a giant. She challenged her students to do more and complain less, to give more and take less, to be more, and learn more about God, country and family. To this day, she is at the center of everything I believe, do and accomplish. Every day, I can hear her encouraging me to take it one step at a time, and make sure my goal is to make it the very best it can be.

Jack Edwards and Andy Sokol are two of my heroes. They are perfect representatives of the Greatest Generation. They were just kids when they went to Europe to stop the march of totalitarianism.  They personified courage, honor, selfless service and valor of the most beautiful and effective kind. They wanted to make a better world, and they did.

More than half a century later, 2d Lt. Emily Perez, a member of the New Greatest Generation did the exact same thing in Iraq. Kitch and I are humbled by her dedication and service. We are inspired by her courage, and we will never forget the ultimate sacrifice she made for the country she loved.

In so many ways, this is their day. They and all their brothers and sisters who have reached “the silent home of the living” deserve to be remembered with admiration, affection and gratitude.

They personified the reason for this day so beautifully described by the father of Memorial Day, Major General John A. Logan in 1868:

(It)is designated for the purpose of strewing with flowers or otherwise decorating the graves of comrades who died in defense of their country during the late rebellion, and whose bodies now lie in almost every city, village, and hamlet church-yard in the land. In this observance no form of ceremony is prescribed, but posts and comrades will in their own way arrange such fitting services and testimonials of respect as circumstances may permit.

They reflect the spirit of this day captured perfectly by President Abraham Lincoln on November 19, 1863, at Gettysburg:

It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us — that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion — that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain — that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom — and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

They personify the words of Lincoln’s favorite poem, “Mortality”:

Oh! why should the spirit of mortal be proud?
Like a swift-fleeting meteor, a fast-flying cloud
A flash of the lightning, a break of the wave
He passeth from life to his rest in the grave.

The leaves of the oak and the willow shall fade,
Be scattered around, and together be laid;
And the young and the old, and the low and the high,
Shall moulder to dust, and together shall lie.

We do what we do on this day, because we want their spirit to remain in our hearts and in our deeds forever.

To adapt the words Henry Deming used to eulogize Lincoln:

They are our index of character, common sense, simplicity, strength, devotion, equanimity, and success in all the ways that matter;

They continued Lincoln’s legacy of teaching the world a new idea of greatness.

On this day, we thank them in private and public ways as we think about our parents and teachers who exemplified for us what America is at its very best.

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Happy Mother’s Day

Written by Tony Mussari
Edited by Kitch Loftus-Mussari
Copyright 2013
Mussari-Loftus Associates, LTD
The Face of America Project
faceofamericawps.com

During her interview with Marty Wolff for the Business Builders Show, I heard Liz Zygmunt say three things that made a lot of sense to me:

Motherhood is the most important job;

Being a mother takes everything you have;

Most women are not superwomen. Speaking from experience, I could not do it all.  Moreover, the idea that women can have it all has been discredited.

Elizabeth Zygmunt is an experienced journalist, a respected editor and a committed community leader in Northeastern Pennsylvania.

Ask her if these accomplishments are important, and she will most likely say yes, but after a short pause, she will tell you that being a mother is much more important.

Thoughts about Mothers and Motherhood

Her emphasis on motherhood got me thinking, and so I did some research to find out what other prominent people thought about the role their mothers played in their life.

This is a short list of my discoveries:

1. The memory of my mother will always be a blessing to me. Thomas Edison

2. Mother has said that she sees us more as friends than as daughters. That’s all very      
nice, of course, except that a friend can’t take the place of a mother. I need my
mother to set a good example and be a person I can respect, but in most matters         
she’s an example of what not to do. Anne Frank

3. All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother. Abraham Lincoln

4. To have had a Mother—how mighty! Emily Dickinson

5. Men are what their mothers made them. Ralph Waldo Emerson

6. My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart – a heart so large that everybody’s joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation. Mark Twain

7, The mother’s heart is the child’s schoolroom. Henry Ward Beecher

8. To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Maya Angelou

9. Whatever else is unsure in this stinking dunghill of a world a mother’s love is not. James Joyce

Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., put his thoughts about motherhood in rhyme:

Youth fades; love droops, the leaves of friendship fall;
A mother’s secret hope outlives them all.

In 1915, Howard Johnson and Theodore Morse wrote these beautiful and poignant lyrics for their song Mother

M Is for the Many things she gave me,
O Means only that she’s growing Old.
T Is for the Tears she shed to save me,
H Is for her Heart of purest gold.
E Is for her Eyes with love light shining,
R Means Right and Right she’ll always be.
Put them all together, They spell MOTHER.
A word that means the world to me.

I don’t know about you, but all of the above describe the mothers God gave Kitch and me. We are eternally grateful for all they did to help us find our way.

The words of Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., apply. Our mothers carried the key to our souls in their bosoms.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers we met on our Face of America Journey.  You represent America at its very best!

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They came one by one
Walking Into The Light At Gettysburg
This challenging new generation.

Young men and women
Neither Union or Confederate
But all inclusive in one generation.

Eloquent in speech
Open to new ideas
With optimism and perseverance of mind.

They scoured the bloody battlefield of Gettysburg
For nuggets of courage
And valor they’re sure to find.

Walking into the light
On this Hallowed Ground
Shrouded by Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address.

General Robert E. Lee
Joined them at Gettysburg
Sword in scabbard and full Confederate dress.

For these students from North Plainfield
Whom we got to know
And admire so dearly

Will return to their school
With visions of Gettysburg
And of themselves more clearly.

“We’ve come, Mr. Lincoln,”
They boldly announced,
“And your torch we’re ready to bear.”

“For on this Hallowed Ground,
Walking Into The Light At Gettysburg,
We take up your mantle to wear.”                                          

This poem was written by William J. Gaydos to celebrate the premiere of Walking Into The Light At Gettysburg on January 19, 2013, in the Lenfest theater at the Visitor Center in the Gettysburg National Military Park.